By Anonymous - 23/06/2015 18:05 - United States - Mankato
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Frankly i hope whoever she's going on the date with denies her sexual advances, If the person she's going out with wants a good relationship it's going to be bad news for him
actually you're wrong. Sex is a need. According to Maslow it's a physiological need, at the very bottom of the pyramid (a fundamental need). Besides the obvious biological reasons of why sex is important, it's also important for people because it helps make them feel connected. Sex feels good, physically and psychologically. Sex does a lot for people. It's a very basic human function. Don't dismiss it so easily.
@OP, as someone that has been married for 19yrs & seperated now for 5yrs. Sometimes divorce takes a long time to get accomplished due to any number of reasons. Just because you may not agree with your mom's decision to date I'm absolutely sure you have made choices as her child she thought were wrong as well. I hope that no one really has to go thru a divorce because the reality is, as a parent and former partner, one of the hardest things ever. But as an adult you have come to realize that sex is or was not just a part of your relationship but it is a key part of your physical as well as mental well-being as a human.
#95 Sex was definitely meant as a form of reproduction, not as a form of entertainment or luxury. The bottom level of the hierarchy of needs is literal biological needs for continued living: Food, Water, Shelter, Reproduction. Not casual sex. However none of that really matters considering psychology is 90% theory and not concrete fact as you presented it. I'm sure there's some truth in there, like sure it makes overall life better, but intimate relationships are definitely among the higher levels. Treating sex as a need leads to people thinking they're entitled to it.
It may bother you but it's not your place to tell her when to start dating again
I don't think OP intends to do that. Just probably was confused why she moved on so quick and then shocked by the answer. Could even be factored into "did they get divorced because of me?" Sounds like her mom is being selfish. But like you said, we don't know all the details.
It's not op's place to tell their mom when she can date, but it is their place to talk about those type of things. They're family and when they go through a tough situation like this, which effects all of them, they should be able to talk about things. Plus, as a son/daughter it is responsible of them to tell their parent if they think they're doing something that they feel is wrong and will only hurt themselves (whether drinking to much or dating too soon). I completely understand how op is thinking that it may be too soon and how their mother may only get hurt by rushing into things. It's nice of them to be able to voice their concerns to their parent. In the end it's their moms choice what to do, but they can go into it knowing how their kid feels and that their kid is concerned and loves them.