Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, while discussing my family on a date, I mentioned that my parents are divorced. She immediately got up and left without a word. FML
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, I realized that my mom has not had a date, or had sex, in 50 years. I've become her 'Husband-Son'. FML
Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ihartmytdi 23
To each their own; everybody needs someone
TypicalSenpai 14
It could be her way of coping, sadly. I'm sorry OP. .-.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (125)
littleking94 14
This is a lot of people's way of getting over a break up, or in this case a divorce. She's a grown woman I don't see the issue. It is rather amusing how blunt she was though lol
ezrajab 22
Tell your mom to have more respect for herself I think that's sad. Everyone has their own needs/wants I guess oh well
FenderM 5
This can totally be respect for herself - getting her needs met as she chooses.
Fmlsea 28
her mum just come out of a divorce , do you really thonk she would be wanting anything serious right now ? no she wouldnt ,but once she has had some time to herself again then she might . just because the mum doesnt want anything serious , doesnt mean she doesnt have respect for herself.
Flyndaran 10
TIL: Sexual human beings don't have self respect.
Ted_brosby 4
No one wants to hear that from their mom
Britt125 16
While I get how it can be hard to watch your parents date again, and you definitely don't want to hear things like "I'm just in it for sex" from a parent, it is her life to do as she pleases. It's really not your business if she's dating again or not. Besides it's very likely that your parents been over the marriage for a lot longer than a week and have already begun the process of accepting the fate of their marriage and moving on for a while now. Otherwise they likely wouldn't have divorced in the first place.
CoupeDeAce 6
Soooooo.......is she hot?
RedPillSucks 33
ikr. words no one wants to hear... your mom is hot.
bugluv3 7
Why is it any of your business if she's dating anyway?
vikky538 29
She has set the right expectations of what she wants out of a date.
Hauclir 14
Honesty is a virtue.
cookie1207 19
You totally deserve for saying that!!!
Relf 19
Double standards? Net youd prob high five your dad if he said the same, let her have fun >.>
iwadasn 33
Did you miss the part where it's only been a WEEK since the divorce? I'm pretty sure a kid would get upset about either parent dating someone else so soon.
Fmlsea 28
yes it might only be a week .but the marriage would of been long over before that since you need to be seperated for 12 months before applying for divorce.