Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, while discussing my family on a date, I mentioned that my parents are divorced. She immediately got up and left without a word. FML
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, I realized that my mom has not had a date, or had sex, in 50 years. I've become her 'Husband-Son'. FML
Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
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Top comments
ihartmytdi 23
To each their own; everybody needs someone
TypicalSenpai 14
It could be her way of coping, sadly. I'm sorry OP. .-.
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Comments (125)
SexyMexi21 23
I just saw this on an earlier post ... ..
Fixme 5
Your mom is divorced and wants to have sex. Good for her. How is this an FML? You should mind your own love life.
Fixme 5
Hey. I just received a moderator warning for claiming this isn't an FML kind of thing. I realize now it's not for me to judge, and so I apologize. What I rather should have said is I don't think you should judge your mom. Try to see it from her perspective and try to let her decide what will make her happy. And if she succeeds, be happy for her, and your life may improve too :)
TheSpecialKRich 4
Atta girl!
dswomi 12
Hey, at least she was honest
at0micmin3r 23
Frankly, it's none of your business.
iAmDictionary 13
Unfortunately it's really not your place to tell her that.
nphill82 21
Maybe she shouldn't have admitted it, but parents have needs too!
lilozmirand 12
I've been there. My mom was still with my dad when she started seeing other people.
jaydoo 6
Mom's hot.