Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, while discussing my family on a date, I mentioned that my parents are divorced. She immediately got up and left without a word. FML
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, I realized that my mom has not had a date, or had sex, in 50 years. I've become her 'Husband-Son'. FML
Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
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Top comments
ihartmytdi 23
To each their own; everybody needs someone
TypicalSenpai 14
It could be her way of coping, sadly. I'm sorry OP. .-.
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Comments (125)
kingdigbick 9
does she have kik?? ha. jk op
SilverMaster02 7
She must be crazy
trey600rr 22
milf!
LO1014 16
Divorces take a long time. Months or years. Many times the couple is done with each other before paperwork is filed. I can understand that you are hurt and not ready, but she needs to be able to move on with her life.
inolongercare 19
Divorces sometimes take years depending on the state. And deciding to get a divorce is a long process as Well- don't judge.
UtadaMisori 4
Mom: Hey son/daughter? Son/Daughter: Yes? Mom: Can I have a boyfriend? Son/Daughter: Not until you're 70.
scyth3s 13
And what if your mom said you're too young to date? You'd probably tell her she's too controlling.
labowski1976 5
And how old is your mom I'm 38 and I love to ****
OneFourNine 9
Way to go Mum! Could not agree more.
neethukay 12
You do what you gotta do! jk that sucks OP, Sorry! =/