By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris
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I think giving birth to a murderer or a rapist should be higher up on your list of fears than your daughter having sex at a young age. Nobody wants their kid to have sex at such a young age and also risk getting an STD on top of it, but I think your kid killing or raping people is worse.
And to clarify, they didn't tell me all about sex protection at that age, they have just always taught me to be responsible and mindful of consequences in everything I do, so it was just a logical, assumed conclusion that you shouldn't have sex unless you want a baby. And obviously, when I later learned about contraception, I still weighed up the chances of having a baby and whether I could realistically support a child/deal with an abortion.
and to say that's to send a message that there's something shameful about it. which causes huge psychological problems. to a four year old these words are just words. they don't associate penis and vagina with sexuality. so don't nickname body parts and don't lie to your kids. that causes a lot more sexual guilt later.
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It's not "disgusting". It's just disheartening.
The average girl actually enters puberty at 10-11 and completes it by 15-17, so OP's daughter is actually in the middle of puberty. She is, however, quite a bit too young to have such a casual attitude about sex. OP should definitely make sure that she isn't taken advantage of and that she's well informed about consent and contraception.
In the US, no state allows minors 13 and under to have sex. If one person reported it, the boyfriend would go to jail and the daughter could also go to jail if the boyfriend is not at least 14. Romeo and Juliet Laws typically specify that minimum age, usually 14. In addition, if the boyfriend is 13 also, due to both of them not being protected by Romeo and Juliet Laws, they would be registered as sex offenders more than likely as this is a sex-related crime, in the US. As OP is listed as France, I don't know their specific laws, but I know next to no country tolerates sex with 13 year olds, regardless of the offenders age. Check your federal, regional/provincial, and local laws because it could spell trouble for her and you if anyone can prove you knew about the sexual relationship.
Tell somebody not too do something, it becomes more attractive. A real conversation explaining that yes it feels good, but it's best to wait a few because of x, y and z gives her a real understanding, and shows respect that she's growing up. In countries where sex isn't hidden and dirty, waiting is more common as it's not as mystified. The fact is, a 13 year old is often biologically ready to have sex and can bear children (of course not recommended), to try and pretend they won't have a sex drive is burying your head in the sand.
#25 Why not? I intend on being honest with my kids from the moment they ask about where children come from. I was 8 and asked my dad and I told him not to give me the stork bs and he insisted that was how it happens. I'm not lying to my kids about it. By 13, they should know what is sex, what are the biological aspects, how does it affect you physically and emotionally, and hear the reasons why having sex is good and why it's bad. If you hide reality from someone, they will have to discover it for themselves.
I think you should have a serious talk with her. With the media and music on the radio, girls are pressured to be hyper-sexualized and they don't even realize it. Let her know *gently but firmly* what she should be doing - going on bumper car/arcade then pizza dates then having a parent pick them up...
What else would you suggest, Mr-Bumpercar-Hater, a day of wine and cheese tasting followed by a night at the opera? Some fun activity plus pizza is age appropriate for 13. At 21 I wouldn't do bumpers, but I could do the arcade, go-cart racing, and chicken wings and that'd be a pretty chill date.
#46 yeah that sounds awesome! and OP, should let her know that virginity is very precious. but also know if she's already doing it, then there's a slim chance she will stop. so just talk to her about safe sex and ask her if she really wants a kid going through high school. a lot of kids will give her crappy for it, best of luck!
46, I think a sweet little dinner date, or going to the movies is acceptable. so is going to the beach, taking a long walk, and other activities, like a Canada day party (that's a common idea among my friends) etc. I know, personally, as a 13 year old with my first boyfriend, we went to the movies, or hung out while my brother had baseball games. the parent picking up thing, if they live far away, that's fine, but if its close to there they both love, I think its perfectly fine for them to walk themselves or each other home, and then return to their respective homes afterwards.
Time for sex talk with your daughter
At that age, she barely needs to know what sex is…