By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 741
You deserved it 6 560

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Time for sex talk with your daughter

At that age, she barely needs to know what sex is…

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Time for sex talk with your daughter

Dad: Honey it's the time we had the sex talk Daughter: Yeah Dad, what do you wanna know?

what the hell were you thinking???

It seems like it's a little late for the sex talk x.x kids these days are becoming active at eleven and tweleve, it's horrible

Kids these days? Did you live under a rock?

Yeah and a lot of them are kissing and getting hickeys and just wow

It's a really inaccurate stereotype that lots of children aged around 12/13 whatever are already sexually active, when most aren't active until their around 18/19 etc.

#50-that's kinda a biased fact, considering I'm 14 and the most I've done with a guy that involved very closeness is cuddle.

No way, 16-17 here! (Spain)

That should have occurred half a decade ago..

That exact thing happened to my grandfather #27

if she goes to a public school its no surprise then plus there a thing called the internet

At that age, she barely needs to know what sex is…

These days middle schools teach kids what sex is and all that

I can say that middle school student teach middle school students what sex is. #21

Yep. In fifth grade they taught us about sex in school. ( I'm in eight grade now)

she just needs to know sex education

key word-know sex education, not participate in it. way too young

Welcome to the world

Well, my middle school taught intercourse as part of the reproductive process. Teacher didn't go over STIs or contraception and so on.

As a future mother, this is my BIGGEST fear. That, or giving birth to a serial killer/rapist.

I think giving birth to a murderer or a rapist should be higher up on your list of fears than your daughter having sex at a young age. Nobody wants their kid to have sex at such a young age and also risk getting an STD on top of it, but I think your kid killing or raping people is worse.

I knew what sex was by 3rd grade and in 5th grade we learned about it in class to

@#2 Well if the daughter was a rapist then they could be doing both. Go big or go home, right?

Well, of course she needs to know...it's not something dirty we need to hide from her. She just needs to be educated well.

Pfft, I learnt what sex was when I was about 4 and asked where babies come from. Nothing wrong with knowing the facts as a child, they're just facts of life after all. Of course, my parents also explained that sex = babies and taught me to be responsible and not selfish...

And to clarify, they didn't tell me all about sex protection at that age, they have just always taught me to be responsible and mindful of consequences in everything I do, so it was just a logical, assumed conclusion that you shouldn't have sex unless you want a baby. And obviously, when I later learned about contraception, I still weighed up the chances of having a baby and whether I could realistically support a child/deal with an abortion.

This is why parents need to have multiple sex talks with their kids. Not one huge one when their kid is 13 or 14. Sex is a natural thing that happens. When they start asking questions, answer them. Storks do not bring babies.

and to say that's to send a message that there's something shameful about it. which causes huge psychological problems. to a four year old these words are just words. they don't associate penis and vagina with sexuality. so don't nickname body parts and don't lie to your kids. that causes a lot more sexual guilt later.

I learned about that when I was 6! At age 13 you need to know what it is, or else you won't get any of the jokes students make in class.

That's disgusting

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

No, it is disgusting

Wow, just wow..

amileah13 26

Barely at the puberty stage and already having sex. Let's just hope she misunderstands the work "sex". Yikes

The average girl actually enters puberty at 10-11 and completes it by 15-17, so OP's daughter is actually in the middle of puberty. She is, however, quite a bit too young to have such a casual attitude about sex. OP should definitely make sure that she isn't taken advantage of and that she's well informed about consent and contraception.

In the US, no state allows minors 13 and under to have sex. If one person reported it, the boyfriend would go to jail and the daughter could also go to jail if the boyfriend is not at least 14. Romeo and Juliet Laws typically specify that minimum age, usually 14. In addition, if the boyfriend is 13 also, due to both of them not being protected by Romeo and Juliet Laws, they would be registered as sex offenders more than likely as this is a sex-related crime, in the US. As OP is listed as France, I don't know their specific laws, but I know next to no country tolerates sex with 13 year olds, regardless of the offenders age. Check your federal, regional/provincial, and local laws because it could spell trouble for her and you if anyone can prove you knew about the sexual relationship.

In Canada, a 13 year old can have sex with someone within a year of their own age, until they are 16, when they are allowed to fuck whoever they want.

^Same in Britain. If you're 13 or over and they're within a year of your own age you don't really get in trouble with the law.

#56: As much as I don't think 13 year olds should be having sex, I definitely don't think one should be made a registered sex offender for having consensual sex with another 13 year old. That would be absurd.

Or just lock her in her room. I kid, I kid... but seriously as a father of two girls I don't know how I'd mentally handle that.

To clarify, the age of consent in England is 16, not 13. But yes, no-one really gets prosecuted unless it's looking rapey/paedophiley.

make sure you give her a full run through on sex, let her know the risks and benefits

I would not be discussing the benefits of sex with my 13 yr old. I have a 12 year old sister and the thought of her having a fuck buddy makes me ill. She's a little girl.

Sex is bad, mmkay

Tell somebody not too do something, it becomes more attractive. A real conversation explaining that yes it feels good, but it's best to wait a few because of x, y and z gives her a real understanding, and shows respect that she's growing up. In countries where sex isn't hidden and dirty, waiting is more common as it's not as mystified. The fact is, a 13 year old is often biologically ready to have sex and can bear children (of course not recommended), to try and pretend they won't have a sex drive is burying your head in the sand.

#25 Why not? I intend on being honest with my kids from the moment they ask about where children come from. I was 8 and asked my dad and I told him not to give me the stork bs and he insisted that was how it happens. I'm not lying to my kids about it. By 13, they should know what is sex, what are the biological aspects, how does it affect you physically and emotionally, and hear the reasons why having sex is good and why it's bad. If you hide reality from someone, they will have to discover it for themselves.

Really? The benefits? Pretty sure there are only risks at that age.

I think you should have a serious talk with her. With the media and music on the radio, girls are pressured to be hyper-sexualized and they don't even realize it. Let her know *gently but firmly* what she should be doing - going on bumper car/arcade then pizza dates then having a parent pick them up...

her boyfriends is already bumping her car i dont think she needs more...

Bumpercar date? Really, shes going to misinterpret that! And thats boring. Its all 7 yearolds. Its fun for the first 2 minutes and pizzaman dates she can do better than that.

Excuse me but bumpercars are awesome imo and I'm 19 y/o

What else would you suggest, Mr-Bumpercar-Hater, a day of wine and cheese tasting followed by a night at the opera? Some fun activity plus pizza is age appropriate for 13. At 21 I wouldn't do bumpers, but I could do the arcade, go-cart racing, and chicken wings and that'd be a pretty chill date.

#46 yeah that sounds awesome! and OP, should let her know that virginity is very precious. but also know if she's already doing it, then there's a slim chance she will stop. so just talk to her about safe sex and ask her if she really wants a kid going through high school. a lot of kids will give her crappy for it, best of luck!

46, I think a sweet little dinner date, or going to the movies is acceptable. so is going to the beach, taking a long walk, and other activities, like a Canada day party (that's a common idea among my friends) etc. I know, personally, as a 13 year old with my first boyfriend, we went to the movies, or hung out while my brother had baseball games. the parent picking up thing, if they live far away, that's fine, but if its close to there they both love, I think its perfectly fine for them to walk themselves or each other home, and then return to their respective homes afterwards.

I hardly believe this is legitimate

The only Friends With Benefits an 13 year old Should have is to help her with her homework

Thank goodness someone else thinks this is ludicrous to even think of a 13 year old having FWB... This world is just way too overtly sexual at far too young an age.

They grow up so fast.