Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, while discussing my family on a date, I mentioned that my parents are divorced. She immediately got up and left without a word. FML
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, I realized that my mom has not had a date, or had sex, in 50 years. I've become her 'Husband-Son'. FML
Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
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Top comments
ihartmytdi 23
To each their own; everybody needs someone
TypicalSenpai 14
It could be her way of coping, sadly. I'm sorry OP. .-.
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Comments (125)
preggoeggo68 10
Maybe that's why she wanted to be single again. Daddy wasn't putting out
berkeleyjake 13
if someone died, that would be too early, but divorce they didn't want to be together, most likely for a long time before the divorce was official, so the shock and mourning is probably long over
martin8337 36
Way to go mom. It's a good thing to get on another horse when you fall off one.
Fmlsea 28
you cant blame your mum for moving on. yes its only been a week, but divorce can take a long time you have to be seperated 12 months before you can even apply for divorce.so your parents have probably both, mourned and decided to move on already.
joshi42 16
Too early? She's divorced, not widowed, God forbid.
19990231 29
I don't really see how this is an fml, but at least she is moving on I guess.
nomrana 14
She needed that break... well go have an ice cream to forget what u just heard lol
johnfulcher90 12
lol it can always be worse hang in there
JordanMynes 3
Yo mom is a little slutty
elizacandle 29
who are you to police your mom.on dating. if they just got the divorce it's been in the works for quite a while.