By tickyette - 14/09/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 231
You deserved it 10 345

Same thing different taste

Top comments


Well, 1, you know what they say: Good things come to those who don't ask permission. ;)

ifyouseekamy666 0

hahahah I like this fml ydi for not laughing too :P

Specterk50 0

Grasshoppers are disgusting exhibitionists. I've seen them **** in windows, on sidewalks, hell, that Armstrong guy prolly saw em doin the deed right there on our holy moon!

when I was napping, my pet rat crawled up my pants.

KingDingALing 9

^^^^ YDI for having a pet rat. Anyways, OP, don't give him any sex tonight for not helping you get the grasshopper out of your shirt.

how is that suppose to happen if the bf hasnt even been that far or he hasn't been frequently...

iSitt 0

I heard grasshoppers taste like dried shrimp shells but gamey

haha 69 talked about sex.. win. xD and the bf didn't even get to second yet, it looks like. i don't think they're going to hop bases..

atticuz 2
hd9280 0
1221jamw 11

my little sister is deathly afraid of grasshoppers. I had to take one outside over the summer, but it kept on coming in through the window. then at school once, one jumped on her head, and when she came home, it was in her pants. all grasshoppers are perverts, just that one was a pedo-hopper :P

thtsuxs 0

squish the grasshopper with your boobs....just squeeze them knockers together

mshoes12346 3

silly grasshopper, boobs are for dudes!

Naw, naw, naw, noobs are for dudes and opportunistic wildlife.

Oh wow, the T9 on my phone knows the word "noobs" better than the word "boobs". I obviously need to write about breasts more often.

fritz2 0

b and n are on different keys. t9 wouldn't mess it up.

FireBug24_7 0

Actually it would....... none does that too. Boobs or noobs? Maybe a noob with boobs! More fun. >:D

Tasanasanta 0

He probably doesn't mean T9 then. I think he means the autocorrect.

#36 There's nothing wrong with being a nerd...

obviously people have never seen what the blackberry pearl looks like, the b and the n are on the same key

Like the grasshopper, he too won't live to see tomorrow.

Tasanasanta 0

Grasshopper knows where the goodies are. Boyfriend is an asshole(unless he's new but I doubt it)

overthelimit 3

your boyfriend should have helped you instead of complaining about second base.

It is just a grasshopper...and how exactly would you expect him to help?

He could try to help get it out of her shirt. Then, the OP could be so overwhelmed with appreciation and respect, he'd hit a home run. But I think what would happen if he did attempt to help, she'd squirm, scream, and elbow him in the nose.

ya i dont think her boyfriend would pass out on that opportunity.

FMyLifeCereal 0

You have the sense of humor one would expect from a fan of Chevelle & the Fray.

it's a GRASSHOPPER. what's it going to do, infest her with it's babies or something? if my boyfriend had said something like that, i would have laughed. it's not that hard to get a bug out of your own shirt. she should have taken the joke instead of jumping on FML to complain about her boyfriend not helping her with a freaking bug >_>

number 138 speaks the truth. hahaa. what her bf said is hilarious. dont dump him ever! ;p

hilarious... don't see the fyl part tho, stop bein such a pussy.

Tasanasanta 0

Her boyfriend is pissed he's not getting any, that's the FML

DarkWaffle 0

What did u expect him to do? Reach down your shirt to grab the hopper or pull down your shirt and bra to get it out?

15 exactly what I was thinking. That was a lose lose for him. it was either help you out by reaching down your shirt, or make a snappy comment about second base.

Exactly. Not a big deal anyway. I thought this website was called F my life, not F my day.

"The site is a recollection of everyday anecdotes likely to happen to anyone. They are published on the site and written exclusively by our users. This site is a place to “let it all out” and unwind by sharing those little things that screw with your day; it allows you to realize that you are not alone." If you want something pessimistic, this probably isn't the site for you, since in the intro it says "Little things that screw with your day" not "things that **** you over for life."

RedPillSucks 31

RGB, they need to put this on the FML FAQ, along with "What does OP mean" and "What does YDI mean". There should be a link that says "FAQ me", or "FAQ my life".

sourgirl101 28

But what does FAQ mean? Sorry for the corny joke-Frequently Asked Question- just for those that don't know already.

40, the comment was a win though. Anyway, I think the FML here is that the boyfriend refused to go to second base with her even though he had a legit excuse to.

I'm a bit confused, since they weren't gettin' hot and heavy at the time. Is it really going to second base if there isn't a game in session, or is it just a short walk on a ballfield?

RedPillSucks 31

Doesn't matter whether you got walked or hit the ball, as long as you're on base!

Well, since hardly anyone reads the rules and the introduction anyway, I doubt putting it on the FAQ would help it be seen any more than it already is. Since the site is user oriented, the staff probably assumes people with either A) ask one another, or B) Google it. I do agree that the rules should be more obvious though.