Health, Clothes and Insects: Where d'you come from?

Where d'you come from?

By Anonymous - 29/08/2021 23:01 - United States - Austin

Today, as someone with a large chest, I'm used to sometimes finding food in my clothes at the end of the day. However, when I took off my bra off, I found half of a dead grasshopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 139

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Same thing different taste

Creepy crawlies

By xUnluckyx - 18/03/2010 05:45 - Canada

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was wood chips that were behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 220

You deserved it 3 801

By Kurda - 23/05/2015 02:26 - United States - Wallburg

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 526

You deserved it 2 768

By Shitsuo01 - 30/12/2016 01:56 - United States - Douglasville

Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 385

You deserved it 385

By Arachnaphobic - 22/11/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 4 807

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 726

You deserved it 13 576

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 324

You deserved it 7 652

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 22:20 - United States

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 975

You deserved it 3 736

The spirit of John Lennon

By Becks - 07/09/2020 23:01

Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 117

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 704

You deserved it 2 519

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 August 2021 6:37

Was it the half that had the face? If so, did that face have a big smile on it?

Major Ahull 3

Monday 30 August 2021 8:12

Even grasshoppers like motorboating. The real question is...Did he wax on, or wax off?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 August 2021 6:37

Was it the half that had the face? If so, did that face have a big smile on it?

Major Ahull 3

Monday 30 August 2021 8:12

Even grasshoppers like motorboating. The real question is...Did he wax on, or wax off?

Plop 17

Monday 30 August 2021 13:11

I had never realized that Mr. Miyagi was actually teaching Daniel how to fondle boobs. The more you know.

JackWood 20

Monday 30 August 2021 17:23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation ADHD Dogs Animals Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 76

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

The Top

Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 273

You deserved it 10 703

Today, I went to get a banana for breakfast and said to my mom, with whom I currently live at age 32 because of Covid, that I don't normally eat bananas, but it looked good. She looked at me and said, "You clearly need to get yourself a man." She's right, but jeez! Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 253

Today, I learned that I'm not registered to vote. Apparently filling out the form and signing it in the county clerk's office was no guarantee and I was supposed to follow up until I received mail confirmation. It's now too late to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 108

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164 940

You deserved it 11 600

Today, I'm struggling with my mental and emotional health, as well as my marriage. Our 25 year-old daughter, who is failing at adulting, wants to move back in after only being gone for slightly over a year. I love my child, but she's a nightmare to live with. I'm gonna run away from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 379

Today, I told my new boss to wish his daughter a happy birthday on my behalf, as I overheard him saying it was today. Turns out she committed suicide three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 538

You deserved it 8 000