Animals: Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee... - FML

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 523

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Same thing different taste

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 944

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 14 969

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 943

You deserved it 61 823

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 54 089

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 37 012

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 395

Oh dear…

By Wet Britches - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 037

You deserved it 1 732

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 645

You deserved it 26 669

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 73 406

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 726

You deserved it 13 576

Next

Top comments

Tequilamockngbrd 7

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:42

I'm not sure what's more stupid: wanting to pee on a grasshopper, or expecting it to wait in one spot while you peed on it. Silly.

Luckster 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:49

That Grasshopper waited all day to do that to you! You know that, right?

Comments

Tequilamockngbrd 7

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:42

I'm not sure what's more stupid: wanting to pee on a grasshopper, or expecting it to wait in one spot while you peed on it. Silly.

DameGreyWulf 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:47

I think I must agree, but 1 has a point.... [edit] wtf, I replied to a comment down below about "If I was a guy, I'd do the same" Well, 1, you have a point.

omghehehe 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:05

Really! :D I replied to #1 and it's missing. Also, his/her response changed too :D Anyway, I agree with #1 :) Yes, silly.

your_mother 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 15:36

Karma's a bitch.

Edumacated 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 15:48

I take it you're not a guy =).

mwz777 0

Sunday 28 March 2010 3:03

haha ya but I wouldve done the same thing

dont_stop_believ 0

Friday 28 May 2010 7:34

if you didn't want ur pee on u y wud the grasshopper want ur pee?! haha loserr

Rejectofsociety9 0

Friday 11 June 2010 23:45

...and you didn't see this coming, OP?

xJC77x 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 9:37

I woulda done the same thing lol

bom_bom 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:45

omg...LOL...i added it to my favs...i almost peed myself after i read that.. kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk(second comment)

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Monday 6 June 2011 3:50

if youre gonna pee, you better find a nice urimal with a grasshopper in it...

ilovemenn 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:46

AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

swimdiva 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:23

isn't**

SykoOne 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:48

LMFAOOO !!! OMG YO , if i was a guy , i would TOTTALLLY do the exact SAME thing ! :)

Basiil 0

Friday 26 November 2010 12:09

Why can't girls do that? :/

KyRidHEART 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 4:48

Cuz we have this think called a ******.

MicMic_fml 7

Monday 25 July 2011 15:27

116 - is that thing edible?

Luckster 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:49

That Grasshopper waited all day to do that to you! You know that, right?

LeeIsAwesome 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:51

YDI for peeing on it.

iheartjustinsane 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:23

Exactly.

dabeachbum 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:58

if i was a guy id do the same thing hahaha

lenasaur 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:05

Thats what you get. How would you like it if someone peed on you?

mutantcow 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:17

you clever, clever person. (:

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Monday 6 June 2011 3:52

kinky...

Honda288 2

Friday 2 March 2012 5:13

Ask Steve Stifler.

CheapoBilo 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:06

Ydi for not ******** on It instead.

juicy_extasy 25

Sunday 15 November 2009 16:01

LOL OMG! Weigh it down?! You're so evil!

cactusbutt 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 17:04

oh, lol! x)

CrazyV 22

Thursday 17 November 2011 23:00

hahaha good one

DeadMansCrack 4

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:07

LOL I would say YDI, but it sounds like something I would do.

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

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