Miscellaneous: Slime

Slime

By klyoung5 - 03/01/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 408

You deserved it 4 981

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 182

You deserved it 5 974

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 373

You deserved it 8 114

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 897

You deserved it 4 115

What's that?

By breebree-0 - 04/03/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 180

You deserved it 4 405

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 437

You deserved it 8 589

Date night

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 03:00

Today, I sneezed while eating a bowl of soup. As I did, a glob of carrot shot out of my nose like a missile, and I couldn’t stop laughing. My boyfriend, who was sitting across from me, wasn’t so amused when the glob splashed all over his white shirt. He’s now mad at me for “ruining his only smart shirt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 185

Surprise !

By snottyface - 26/09/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 804

You deserved it 19 482

By lft - 06/06/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, I called over my math teacher to ask a question. I have a really bad cold. I asked him about a problem and he reached over my desk to point at the diagram and explain it. Then I suddenly had to sneeze and I got tons of snot all over his hand and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 937

You deserved it 10 175

By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 504

You deserved it 6 100

sarahbear430 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:13

at least he didn't notice. this FML would be way worse if it ended with you saying "he was totally grossed out"

zanguard 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:15

That does-not sound like much fun. You should have licked it clean in front of him, but not before you offered him some (be polite).

Comments

isaiaha11 2

Monday 3 January 2011 23:11

lol

lifeinhd 3

Monday 3 January 2011 23:19

Snot rocket... lol

urdirtyolduncle 15

Monday 3 January 2011 23:22

I was the guy sitting next to her. Oh, my God, Heather (OP), that's totally disgusting! Now I would never date you!

NuyoRicanGirl 3

Monday 3 January 2011 23:29

LMAO just say it's hair gel =p

fakeaccountX 6

Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:02

Did you ever get it out? Did he ever notice? Thanks for leaving us in suspense!

sirdolittle 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 2:12

I know, it's killing me ! I'll never be able to sleep !!! Zzz ...

fusionss 7

Friday 12 December 2014 15:21

Shut the **** up

sarahbear430 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:13

at least he didn't notice. this FML would be way worse if it ended with you saying "he was totally grossed out"

Vanyaxe 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:17

aww that sucks OP. FYL

Sisaac 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:19

Well, FYL if he noticed. If he didn't, it is just a gross accident, no big deal.

Arschloch04 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:21

You seem like a very snotty person.

GwenBites 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 7:22

…jerk…

InBetweenDreams 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:22

Maybe he didn't notice. This would be way worse if you started talking to him with it in your hair and HE pointed it out to you.

daddy15 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:35

ydi for trying too hard.

mooshibear140 4

Thursday 23 June 2011 1:15

How was her sneezing into her arm and then trying to get the snot out after she got it in her hair "trying too hard"?

RosiePatosie 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:38

Did you get it?

laurenlovefulful 5

Monday 3 January 2011 23:47

That sucks :( at least he didnt notice!

cbranflakes 1

Tuesday 4 January 2011 3:55

haha that's what I was thinking

dani22097 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:49

you are so puny

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Teenagers Kids Animals Technology Dogs Awkward Zoom Job interview Work Photography Parenting Cute Money Capitalism Health Birthday AITA Family Healthy Lifestyle Sports My ex Mental health Parents Weird Bodyshaming Food Video games Gamers

The Top

Today, thanks to that goddamn Trump, my business is going under. All the guys I count on to do jobs have dipped, and hiring new ones will force me to hike my prices through the roof. I'm going to have to cancel three contracts and might get sued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 535

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 935

You deserved it 3 392

The Top

Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently, I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 027

You deserved it 2 641

Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 522

You deserved it 667

Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my job and was quitting on the spot. I tried to leave quickly but I slipped and fell on the marble floor right in front of everybody during my exit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 202

You deserved it 6 342

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 430

You deserved it 2 883

Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 241

You deserved it 1 268

Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 49