By Anonymous - 24/08/2012 21:10 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 213
You deserved it 3 871

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bargarlm 2

Well at least you got banged?

Greendaycheese 12

Well at least he's prepared?...


bargarlm 2

Well at least you got banged?

Maybe you should be more concerned about a ghost outbreak...

reallytho3 11


starman02 12

With the way people are doing bath salts, I would have a bat by my bed to! Hehe. Hope it didn't hurt to much OP!

He believes in safe sex!

The real question is where did the bat fall from?

33, a Big Bang Theory reference is irrelevant in this thread.

CheeseTron 15

Im glad im not the only one!

LiyIa_fml 8

Same here 137! I thought i was the only one who kept a bat by my bed incase of any emergency. ;)

SenselessPattern 12

A Big Bang Theory reference is always irrelevant in every thread, based on the weekly rape that show does to the word 'comedy'.

Greendaycheese 12

Well at least he's prepared?...

iiDangerCloseBK 6

You never know when the zombies are gonna come.

Aug1508 9

She will be grateful when he saves her from those zombies!

The thing is that cuddling will not keep up ones cardio. OP's boyfriend needs to step up his game....

21: Agreed. If they're gonna lie in bed together they oughta at least get some exercise.

Psych101 9

Exactly. Rule number one of Zombieland: Cardio.

He's obviously not prepared enough; he didn't even double tap!

Poor fat bastard

It fell on her head yet he keeps it next to the bed..there's something wrong here.

Why the thumbs down? It's another zombieland quote :(

I think that our entire generation knows so much about a zombie apocalypse that if we ever actually have one. Most of us are going to survive

AGhost5445 25

I doubt a baseball bat will stop a zombie tell him to get a gun.

Guns are too noisy, would attract more zombies. You'd be better off with a giant ***** bat.

Or a katana. Save the guns & ammo for the large groups of zombies. If its one or two, quiet melee weapons all the way.

RealTalk0 7

Yeah, then next time a gun would fall on her head.

mrnuleef 7

Better a gun than a katana fall on her head. Or he could just not have anti zombie weapons all together... Just a suggestion...

A sickle with a sawed off handle works best, in my experience.

Always remember Rule # 2 OP: the double tap.

SlayerElite 1

I am happy that most people in are modetn society are prepared and know what to do in a zombie apocoloypse. i have hope that we could survive and take back the world when it happens.

8 - don't forget the apocofists!

A baseball bat will help zombies dont move fast like in the new dawn of the dead. Rigornortis has already set in so their body is 100% stiff an hard for them to move so they slow.

A bat would break after just a few kills, if even. A sledgehammer would be better. Also, always keep a gun with at least two bullets on you at all times. If you go out, make sure the zombie that bit you goes too.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

I say you go Sparta on their ass. A shield, sword, and lance.

Katanas aren't better dude. if you don't know how to use them, your ******

Just make sure you "double tap"

Or keep them you know under the bed

Cut there head with a katana & you're good

Uhh, guys… swords and bladed weapons need reloading. It's called a whetstone.

It you want to know what would be the best weapon to use, you need to read Max Brooks book. It's called The Zombie Survival Guide: Protection From the Living Dead. I read it and all I can say is that I'm prepared, but will you be?

Turtle_rebellion 10

You do realize that in order to fulfill the definition of apocalypse, EVERYONE would have to die?

Inheritance 10

A black bladed machete or sword is best for zombies. 1) quiet 2) no reflection from blade (off light) 3) convient and fast 4) slick

actually, I believe a baseball bat would work just fine. I found this one YouTube series called ZombieGoBoom. it's pretty damn awesome.

In a weird sense, you were ****-blocked by zombies.

Can a girl be Cock blocked? Since OP is a girl.

Amateurs. It's vajected, or snatch-latched.

Now that's good. I gotta remember that one!!!

Twat Swatted.

cause a baseball bat would totally stop a zombie

It's better than nothing! Baseball bats would totally work.

Id rather have nothing and be able to run like a scared little girl than swing a bat

So... You can't run with the bat? What, is it too heavy for you?

mdds 2

49: false! the only thing that will stop a zombie is destroying its brain not denting it. bat's not looking so good now.

jem970 19

Tallahassee took out a zombie with a banjo. You argument is no longer valid #81. Goodbye.

You play wow?? :))

81 - Zombies currently do not exist. Therefore, there is no way of knowing how to kill them. We can't know things about creatures that aren't even real.

153- You are absolutely correct. I've tried looking for a cure for vampirism to no avail. Apparently, it's very difficult to cure one without killing it.

Turtle_rebellion 10

81: actually, we have no proof of what would kill zombies. How do you know how to kill something that dosent (yet) exist? Edit: sorry I didn't see 153

81 a baseball bat could break a skull, it just might break though

What a loser! FYL

Why is he a loser? He obviously didnt lose the bat...

I keep my zombie equipment in the closet to avoid such situations.

Since I'm handicapped, I just hired MF Jones.

What an idiot. A baseball bat isn't going to do shit against zombies. He will be a good diversion while you make a break for it though.

Though batting the crap out of the Zombie's head might do something... However, anything more than a couple, just a bat and you'd be screwed

mdds 2

correct, a guns the only logical choice

winnerme123 8

Flamethrowers work also.

SlayerElite 1

xombies come from reanimated flesh, so if the skin can regenerate like the brian, then new skin eould constantly burn, now you have flaming zombies, you made a bad situation, worse. way to go.

JessieLoren 5

you obviously haven't watched the Walking Dead, you can beat the crap out of a zombie with a baseball bat!!

Walking dead was a movie produced by zombies to make you think that. There's no way you can fight off a gang of zombies with a bat. You're ******. Automatic weapons, and explosives are the only choice for me. You can join my gang but you'll be the first to get eaten.

Baseball bats are designed to be able to hit a small, hard object traveling at speeds upwards of 80 mph multiple times. One should be more than capable of crushing some zombie skulls.

LappDance 16

You'll be sorry that you ever complained when a zombie comes into the room and you have no way to protect yourself!

A machete or other edged weapon are the best against Zombies. They require next to no maintenance and you don't have to find and carry ammo.

Because you have to carry bat ammo....

TheDrifter 23

Stopping zombies requires severe trauma to the brain or decapitation. Edged weapons are only effective if you're strong enough to manage that first strike, every time. A bat on the other hand will knock them down and buy you time even if the blow wasn't hard enough to pulp their brain pan.

mrnuleef 7

Unless they're running zombies, then you're ******.

36 - I think 13 was supposed to be a response to 3...

Just make sure its not a hatchet because you're screwed if you forget to reload it!