Love and Health: Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and...

By Anonymous - 24/08/2012 21:10 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 222

You deserved it 3 874

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Same thing different taste

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 005

You deserved it 3 562

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 7 811

Wuss

By scaredy cat - 09/08/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 169

Crime prevention

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a sword under the bed, a proper sharp 'knight on horseback' sword instead of the typical baseball bat for burglars, I found this out after I was groping under there for a dropped earring and cut one of my fingers down to the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 163

By secret_source - 17/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 088

You deserved it 2 007

By StillBetterThanTwilight - 28/08/2012 15:56 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 580

You deserved it 2 600

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 556

You deserved it 2 621

By CA19oo - 20/03/2012 01:03 - United States - Buford

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 730

You deserved it 2 075

By Username - 13/08/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 650

You deserved it 5 522

By Anonymous - 07/11/2012 15:44 - United States

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 543

You deserved it 2 532

bargarlm 2

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:43

Well at least you got banged?

Greendaycheese 12

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:43

Well at least he's prepared?...

Comments

bigtime_rocker 11

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:46

Someone ONCE said "Guns don't kill people, irresponsible idiots with guns kill people!" Now, I don't want to be rude or call your boyfriend an idiot, but he would not be my first choice of people to choose as a roommate in a padded cell if he truly is THAT paranoid!

lostinlabels 8

Saturday 25 August 2012 3:44

You'll be the first to go when they come.

Psych101 9

Saturday 25 August 2012 4:45

14- Two things. 1. Why was ONCE in all caps? 2. We'll see who's laughing when the zombies attack.

bigtime_rocker 11

Sunday 26 August 2012 5:50

1. No idea. My mistake. 2. I agree!

Kimitte 1

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:46

Don't worry OP, if someone breaks into your house, you'll be protected. Though I hope you feel better and that your boyfriend..fixes himself.

jem970 19

Saturday 25 August 2012 5:59

Why the hell should he "fix" himself? Zombies aside, if someone breaks into his house while OP is there, she will be deliriously happy when her boyfriend saves her from being killed or injured by the intruder. He is prepared for anything. She should be happy. P.S. when the zombies come you will die.

aadvdrak 11

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:47

Tell him to stop watching those zombie related movies.

AmericanJedhead 10

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:47

Well maybe you should appreciate that... my boyfriend doesn't believe in the zombie apocalypse, but when the time comes, he'll be unprepared and die first. ^not actually true...

greeneyedpothead 10

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:48

First it was vampires, now it's zombies. Why do people "genuinely" believe in this stuff? Even if they were real, I doubt a baseball bat or even a gun would stop them.

jem970 19

Saturday 25 August 2012 6:01

Shows how much you know. Have you seen the news lately? People are eating other people! And not just because of bath salts. Wake up and stop being so blind.

asamir 11

Saturday 25 August 2012 20:22

You probably never watched Shaun of the Dead.

bookwormsteph 3

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:54

A bat may or may not be a bad choice in a zombie apocalypse (I'd want other weapons as well), weapon selection depends on style of zombie. Resident Evil Mutating ZA your screwed, if all you have is a bat.