By Anonymous - 30/12/2013 12:10 - Australia - Campbelltown
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While I agree in theory the way you phrased this is crap. Their focus should be on the fact that they are scaring their kid. People avoid arguing in front of their children for the same reason. In that position I would feel Terrible. I think a break from football isn't a bad idea. They could have her tell the code to someone else so it isn't forgotten and take a month or two off to prove to her that her fears are important.
To the people that say #8 is an idiot; did you ever hear kids play? They yell their lungs out on the playground. I don't believe that "I'm scared of yelling" crap unless the girl doesn't ever play outside or sings along terribly to songs on tv or cd. She did something wrong. No excuses. Period.
^ There is a huge difference between playing and raising your voice (using your outside voice) with your friends and hearing your parents scream and yell inside, especially if it sounds like they're angry. Chances are she doesn't completely understand what's happening. So, I DO believe the "I'm scared" crap.
If she puts parental control on, she clearly makes the connection between football and screaming and knòws it's not at her. So because she dislikes screaming, she prevents the parents from watching. How is this different from forbidding her to watch films because the parents dislike her singing?
#81, I agree. This won't go anywhere. You're too soft. The parents should have explained that they just enjoy the game. If they knew she was scared yet didn't, shame on them. But that doesn't give her the right to put up rules for her parents or lock their television. She still did something wrong.
Also, while parents might not be scared, I can assure you that having children yell all day or sing loudly can still give you a terrible headache, especially when you come home from a tiring day and still have work to do. It's a two-way street. Parents should be tolerable, and so should children.
I used to be afraid of the fireplace as a small child. I hid the matches and lighters so Mom couldn't use it. I was terrified that she was going to burn down the house. My parents sat me down, explained to me about fire safety and then just used the heater for about a year until I was a little older and could handle the fire. I had been burned as a small kid when I was camping and the fear stayed with me for a long time. Children do not do things like that because they are being bad. They do it because that is the only way they know how to feel safe. It is similar behavior to how abused children have been know to start hoarding food in their rooms. By punishing her, you are telling her that her feelings are not valid. She is not going to give up the code until she feels safe, people stop yelling, and she is validated. Little kids just want their parents to understand them, to spend time with them, and to love them. It is not loving to continue to scream and yell when your child has expressed a fear of it. It is not completely unreasonable to sit and watch the game without making loud noises. I am not a huge sports fan, so maybe it is just me, but unless you are at the stadium I feel its rather unneeded to carry about like tazered monkeys, especially when in an apartment or your child/someone else has expressed the desire not to hear the screaming. The best solution would be to include your daughter in the sport. Take her to the park and play a child safe version of football. Explain to her the rules. Take her to a real game when she is a little older and let her see that no one is hurt by it. Then call your cable company and they should be able to unlock it.
Punishment is never an option in my perspective. Yes you need to talk to the kids about what's right or wrong, but punishing them for something that they don't know is wrong is unacceptable. Studies show that most people perform better to reward than to negatives or punishment.
This is why kids are so damn spoiled. This will get thumbed into oblivion but whatever. She's just doing this for attention, she's upset that OP watches football and ignores her for a few hours so she decided to stop football and make up a reason. If you don't think a 4 year old is that smart you are being naive. Anyway this is just her wanting attention, OP can give in and spoil her or make the kid learn a lesson.
@210 - Did you really just call a kid spoiled for wanting her parents attention? Not to mention if you've ever been around a 4 year old you'd know a lot of fairly innocuous things can scare them. It's your job as a parent to help guide them through the world, not punish them for having feelings.
Kids grow up getting anything they want by crying or acting out, it's a learned behavior. This is something that most people in the last couple generations refuse to acknowledge and why I knew it would be thumbed down. When a baby cries it wants attention or needs something, but even as an infant parents are told to let babies cry through the night after a certain age, I wonder why? Also as a parent around the age a kid is going into school you need to start breaking the habit of crying/acting out = getting your way. I know, parenting that involves discipline is obviously bad. I know I'm an idiot for saying a parent shouldn't coddle their child. Coddling normally works out so well. Sarcasm there if you didn't catch it. Also my nephew is 5 now and I've always been around him. I was forced to read parenting books by my sister. I can tell the difference between being scared and attention seeking.
255, not really sure the relevance... But movie theaters can be scary to young children because they're dark and incredibly loud. Parents should arrange for a baby sitter for the sake of both the child and the rest of the audience. This may be the point you were trying to make but your comment was a bit unorganized and difficult to understand.
233: I agree yet disagree with you. One of my friends has a sister who was taken out of preschool because she wouldn't listen to the teacher and was incredibly rude to her and the other kids. However I know her mother personally and she is completely competent as a parent, doesn't spoil her children, and punishes them only when deserved. Some kids are just little brats because that's how they are, not because of the parents. I also agree that they should be punished sometimes, but not for every little thing.
@233 I agree there are plenty of children out there who have parents without a "no" in their vocabulary. Parents are good at translating their kids. They should be able to (most of the time anyway) filter out the honest emotion from the noise. From my daughters cries (she's 19 mo) I can tell if she's tired/hungry/has a poopy diaper/etc. I can also usually tell when she's just pushing her limits to get what she wants. Scared and pushing your limits are two different things. From the short FML, this sounds like legit scared but I don't know the parents or the child so it's a hard thing to be certain of in 300 characters.
vencku, even if you don't give a shit because according to you the fear is irrational, one: nearly every human being on this planet has an irrational fear and two: the child is fucking four. You're treating her like a criminal. Ffs I'm 20 and even I still sometimes get unnerved when I hear adults going batshit at each other even if I know it's not serious. It would be different if the child was 12 or even 8. 'Disciplining' a frightened four year old child who tries to remove the object of her fear in the only way she knows how is probably one of the worst things you can do during that developmental stage. That just reinforces the idea that her feelings and insecurities are completely irrelevant when it comes to your right to act like a rabid animal in front of the TV just because you're the parent. If you keep treating your child this way you create what is termed 'learned helplessness': when after repeated efforts to get yourself out of stressful or negative situations end in failure, people learn to stop trying completely and never to stand up for themselves again in any future instances even when it is sadly extremely easy or even necessary to do so. Furthermore, in case you don't realise how hypocritical you're being, going insane in front of the TV over a football game without a care in the world how your child feels about it shows a considerable lack of restraint which needs - you guessed it! - discipline. Just because you're an adult and even a parent doesn't give you the right to have zero self control while you impose your young child to the consequences of your obnoxiousness. /end rant
Well, life's not a bed of roses, she should learn that. And the parent should teach the children that they have power, not the other way around. Instead of bribing, order her to, and change your parenting policy, because your current one sucks. Kid telling the parents what they can watch is like dog telling you can't sleep on the bed.
Am I the only one who feels like all the people who keep saying the child can not block the television, or saying block her cartoon, and work all day and come home and work more. You all must seriously not understand parenthood. Parenthood IS NOT easy. Being a mother or a father is a job, it's hard work. However it's also the time where you teach your kid values. If you honestly value watching your sports more than your child then you need to get your priorities straight. NOTHING comes before your child, nothing. Also to ban her cartoon, go ahead. Instead of "disciplining" her why not make play time with parents? Growing up I never got to have play time with my parents. They worked, came home and watched TV. So excuse me if I see people who would rather watch tv then spend QUALITY time with their child. Some people are not fit for parenthood and many people in this conversation are disgusting! You repulse me.
nah the parents are just stupid, codebreaking is super easy. there are only 6500 combinations, either its something obvious, 1234, 2345, etc, something important like a birthdate or number that shows up in a cartoon, or just a random number, in which theres a button on the back of the receiver.
Yea, call the company, get the code and then in the future when your watching football, maybe keep your voice down? As a four year old she obviously went through a lot of trouble to stop you from screaming. It must really frighten her. I feel bad for her and I also think what she did was really intelligent for a four year old.. I couldn't even get mad at her if I were her parent.