By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 148
You deserved it 4 166

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Pick your battles. She will forget about it soon. But the more you push, the more she will push back and the longer she will remember.


Inspired22 11

So...get her another toothbrush?

Dallyni 22

it's a 5 year old, of course the Childs unreasonable. That's the point of getting a new tooth brush, or fibbing and saying that it's a new tooth brush.

"Dog" is who all the dyslexic agnostic insomniacs stay up at night thinking about.

@Boners - Yeah, I wouldn't want to use anything touched by Dog the Bounty Hunter... except my dignity. He can touch that ANYTIME he wants. /secret birthday wish

if you give her a new tooth brush, you confirm her dream being real, so that's the last thing you should do.

Gdo manD ouy, coDtardsaB! to'nD eamk nuf fo su!!!

on't Day ou yay ean may #42 i nay his tay ase cay? ou Yay ave hay otta gay ick stay o tay e thay an play.

stewpididiot 11

if I had been listening to #24 instead of reading, I would swear he was having a stroke...

sexxy147 0

wow. she didnt actually use the tooth brush to brush a dog's mouth. lol

no but the daughter thinks so. if you give her a new one, problem is solved.. Its not like a tooth brush is that expensive xD. she also believes sainta excists, doesnt she? its the parent who makes her believe it!!

102 - Exactly.. What are guys fretting about? Aren't toothbrushes like a buck or so?

epmorr2010 9

Today, I found out my dad used my tooth brush on the dog. and we don't even have a dog. FML

cloudy01 0

No it isn't. It's a dog-eat-dog world. Get it? Because if you're a dog, another dog may eat you, so you have to do it first. It means the world is rough. What the **** is doggy dog? Other than a perpetually stoned rapper.

lol, DocBastard... Honestly though, what DID he mean by "doggy dog world"?

I'm not going to lie, I read the "Doggy Dog World" comment as Hank Hill. (insert obligatory "doing a girl doggy-style while she eats a fully-cooked ham on the hood of your dad's 1992 El-Camino" comment here)

This could be a Modern Family reference

AceArctic 4

Get her a dog. Get that dog a toothbrush. Let her use the dog's toothbrush. Then they should be even. :3

Here's an even better idea - get a dog-shaped toothbrush, use it on the cat (if they don't have a cat, use your grandmother), and bet $50.22 on the Cleveland Browns winning the Super Bowl next season. This iced-tea tastes great, folks.

OR get a new toothbrush that looks like her Grammy, tell her that the car's rims used it, and tell her she better use it because she's not getting a new one...

I LMAO'd at your post!!! and you brought in the suggestion of iced tea out of the no where... that just made me leak on my pants! LMAO!!!!

Pick your battles. She will forget about it soon. But the more you push, the more she will push back and the longer she will remember.

Seems like this shouldn't be hard to understand. Oh well, Im gonna see a Doc to get diagnosed for reeturdashun then. Farewell!

obviously you don't discipline your kid nearly as well as you should. if a child of MINE hit me with a pillow in the middle of the night, id smack her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for a week. and now you're letting her get away with misbehavior? YDI, OP. take control of your spawn.

because hitting a 5 year old makes you such a badass father! to small-balled to take one of your size? so you gotta wait for the smallest fart to hit your children?

well said 27, thank you for being one of the good ones. I'm a social worker and to read these comments about hitting your child so hard they wouldn't walk straight for a week is really disturbing. You can discipline without violence.

Leo518 0

oh yeah and ur way of discipline is working? smacking the shit out of ur 5 yr old for havig a bad dream? way to go mom. wonder how that child is gonna end up....

sccrismyantidrg 4

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and hoping you are not serious. Although I don't agree with that sort of discipline, I don't think parents should be so afraid of spanking their children when necessary.

Cedarcliffe - if you would hit a 5-year old, I hope someone proportionately larger than you hits you just as hard. Kids that young don't understand right from wrong yet, and all she did is hit her mother with a pillow and refuse to brush her teeth. She didn't hurt anyone, she didn't break the law. Get a ******* clue, moron.

danbogator 0

Actually I believe hitting someone with a pillow would be considered battery in most states...

RedPillSucks 31

Although I don't agree with beating some child half to death, I do think that 5 year olds most definitely know right from wrong. I've seen it in my own kids, and I remember back that far. Being hit with a pillow doesn't rise to the level needed to discipline a child though. I think a stern explanation would be sufficient.

MyChemical_fml 0

14 - Your comment made me sad.. :( I hope you die.

American1991 - I never said you shouldn't discipline children. I discipline my own without hitting her, although when she's older, spankings are fair game. I don't think it's right in a 5-year old, especially for this.

KiddNYC1O 20

#14- I certainly hope that was hypothetical and that you're a barren woman.

sweet_blue 3

haha mychemical I was sad but your comment made me laugh. thanks

I wish people wouldn't give the trolls an all-you-can-eat buffet.


Someone has to feed them. Oh wait...

Don't worry, I put enough meth in his food to knock him out for a few days.

Don't worry, I put enough meth in his food to knock him out for a few days.

Don't worry, I put enough meth in his food to knock him out for a few days.

Don't worry, I put enough meth in his food to knock him out for a few days.