Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
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By
elainelovesyou
| 7
Just give her a new one.
By
DocBastard
| 38
Pick your battles. She will forget about it soon. But the more you push, the more she will push back and the longer she will remember.
COMMENTS
By
Inspired22
| 11
So...get her another toothbrush?
By
elainelovesyou
| 7
Just give her a new one.
Reply
Dallyni
| 22
it's a 5 year old, of course the Childs unreasonable. That's the point of getting a new tooth brush, or fibbing and saying that it's a new tooth brush.
Reply
Brave_Sir_Robin
| 4
Then who was dog?
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
"Dog" is who all the dyslexic agnostic insomniacs stay up at night thinking about.
Reply
Brave_Sir_Robin
| 4
@Boners - Yeah, I wouldn't want to use anything touched by Dog the Bounty Hunter... except my dignity. He can touch that ANYTIME he wants.
/secret birthday wish
/secret birthday wish
Reply
unfortunate_13
| 5
if you give her a new tooth brush, you confirm her dream being real, so that's the last thing you should do.
Reply
I_iz_B_a_troll
| 23
Gdo manD ouy, coDtardsaB! to'nD eamk nuf fo su!!!
Reply
Brave_Sir_Robin
| 4
on't Day ou yay ean may #42 i nay his tay ase cay? ou Yay ave hay otta gay ick stay o tay e thay an play.
Reply
stewpididiot
| 11
if I had been listening to #24 instead of reading, I would swear he was having a stroke...
Reply
BWill9014
| 4
28 you used tay twice :l
Reply
Moota
| 9
.....What?
Reply
birdfreak
| 24
I love you too
Reply
sexxy147
| 0
wow. she didnt actually use the tooth brush to brush a dog's mouth. lol
Reply
veerla
| 0
no but the daughter thinks so. if you give her a new one, problem is solved.. Its not like a tooth brush is that expensive xD. she also believes sainta excists, doesnt she? its the parent who makes her believe it!!
Reply
elainelovesyou
| 7
102 - Exactly.. What are guys fretting about? Aren't toothbrushes like a buck or so?
By
hahaitsmattheau
| 0
vagina
By
tulsafml
| 0
Did you punch her?
Reply
ILoveGiraffes
| 0
;-;
Reply
barniclest
| 0
dude ar u serious?
Reply
tulsafml
| 0
Why yes. Yes I am serious.
Reply
L3Paparazzo
| 7
show her pictures of nasty sets of yellow teeths. :b
Reply
crazyivan118
| 0
good joke ;D
Reply
SassiestLemon
| 2
Ha! It's you! I remember you from another FML. I also remember that some lady trolled all over you. o.o
By
epmorr2010
| 9
that's some dream she had
Reply
imagineThisIsCle
| 0
Today, I found out my dad used my tooth brush on the dog. and we don't even have a dog. FML
By
rhpsfan9
| 10
lol kids
By
cloudy01
| 0
It's a doggy dog world
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
No it isn't. It's a dog-eat-dog world. Get it? Because if you're a dog, another dog may eat you, so you have to do it first. It means the world is rough.
What the fuck is doggy dog? Other than a perpetually stoned rapper.
What the fuck is doggy dog? Other than a perpetually stoned rapper.
Reply
cloudy01
| 0
...
Reply
mk58
| 31
lol, DocBastard... Honestly though, what DID he mean by "doggy dog world"?
Reply
Brave_Sir_Robin
| 4
I'm not going to lie, I read the "Doggy Dog World" comment as Hank Hill.
(insert obligatory "doing a girl doggy-style while she eats a fully-cooked ham on the hood of your dad's 1992 El-Camino" comment here)
(insert obligatory "doing a girl doggy-style while she eats a fully-cooked ham on the hood of your dad's 1992 El-Camino" comment here)
Reply
aback
| 4
He means he's not a reader.
Reply
lolfood
| 24
This could be a Modern Family reference
By
AceArctic
| 4
Get her a dog. Get that dog a toothbrush. Let her use the dog's toothbrush. Then they should be even. :3
Reply
Brave_Sir_Robin
| 4
Here's an even better idea - get a dog-shaped toothbrush, use it on the cat (if they don't have a cat, use your grandmother), and bet $50.22 on the Cleveland Browns winning the Super Bowl next season.
This iced-tea tastes great, folks.
This iced-tea tastes great, folks.
Reply
Tcaret300
| 12
OR get a new toothbrush that looks like her Grammy, tell her that the car's rims used it, and tell her she better use it because she's not getting a new one...
Reply
gagaman_fml
| 0
I LMAO'd at your post!!! and you brought in the suggestion of iced tea out of the no where... that just made me leak on my pants! LMAO!!!!
By
DocBastard
| 38
Pick your battles. She will forget about it soon. But the more you push, the more she will push back and the longer she will remember.
Reply
SassiestLemon
| 2
Seems like this shouldn't be hard to understand.
Oh well, Im gonna see a Doc to get diagnosed for reeturdashun then. Farewell!
Oh well, Im gonna see a Doc to get diagnosed for reeturdashun then. Farewell!
By
cedarcliffe
| 0
obviously you don't discipline your kid nearly as well as you should. if a child of MINE hit me with a pillow in the middle of the night, id smack her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for a week. and now you're letting her get away with misbehavior? YDI, OP. take control of your spawn.
Reply
Bofferding_fml
| 6
because hitting a 5 year old makes you such a badass father! to small-balled to take one of your size? so you gotta wait for the smallest fart to hit your children?
Reply
cathylee22
| 4
well said 27, thank you for being one of the good ones. I'm a social worker and to read these comments about hitting your child so hard they wouldn't walk straight for a week is really disturbing. You can discipline without violence.
Reply
Leo518
| 0
oh yeah and ur way of discipline is working? smacking the shit out of ur 5 yr old for havig a bad dream? way to go mom. wonder how that child is gonna end up....
Reply
sccrismyantidrg
| 4
I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and hoping you are not serious. Although I don't agree with that sort of discipline, I don't think parents should be so afraid of spanking their children when necessary.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
Cedarcliffe - if you would hit a 5-year old, I hope someone proportionately larger than you hits you just as hard. Kids that young don't understand right from wrong yet, and all she did is hit her mother with a pillow and refuse to brush her teeth. She didn't hurt anyone, she didn't break the law.
Get a fucking clue, moron.
Get a fucking clue, moron.
Reply
danbogator
| 0
Actually I believe hitting someone with a pillow would be considered battery in most states...
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
Although I don't agree with beating some child half to death, I do think that 5 year olds most definitely know right from wrong. I've seen it in my own kids, and I remember back that far. Being hit with a pillow doesn't rise to the level needed to discipline a child though. I think a stern explanation would be sufficient.
Reply
MyChemical_fml
| 0
14 - Your comment made me sad.. :(
I hope you die.
I hope you die.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
American1991 - I never said you shouldn't discipline children. I discipline my own without hitting her, although when she's older, spankings are fair game. I don't think it's right in a 5-year old, especially for this.
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
#14- I certainly hope that was hypothetical and that you're a barren woman.
Reply
sweet_blue
| 3
haha mychemical I was sad but your comment made me laugh. thanks
Reply
Sirin_fml
| 46
I wish people wouldn't give the trolls an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Reply
OCDC
| 9
Someone has to feed them. Oh wait...
Reply
Zmeilerr
| 22
Don't worry, I put enough meth in his food to knock him out for a few days.
Reply
Zmeilerr
| 22
Don't worry, I put enough meth in his food to knock him out for a few days.
Reply
Zmeilerr
| 22
Don't worry, I put enough meth in his food to knock him out for a few days.
Reply
Zmeilerr
| 22
Don't worry, I put enough meth in his food to knock him out for a few days.