Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Top comments
injuredathlete 12
someone needs to learn good behavior.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Your child is a genius!
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Comments (333)
jdwmoore 5
bribe? my parents would just beat me.until I told them
xcmliker_fml 2
That kid will go far in life... ;)
bahklava 8
Anybody suggesting that the 4-year-old girl get punished, I just have to say wow...no respect for a child's thoughts, needs or feelings. Punishing her would basically send the message "I do not care what you think, and you are obligated to put up with anything I do, no matter how much it frightens you."
ballpython 15
Assuming you are in fact a parent I bet your child(ren) manipulate the shit out of you.
SuperMew 22
You don't punish her for having feelings. If the parents feel what she did was wrong, then they need to address that as a separate issue. There are a few issues going on here: 1. Op doesn't seem to be paying attention to their child's needs, if the girl is scared of the screaming Op should tone it down. Op needs to explain the world to their child, they don't come with instant understanding. If the child is afraid, address the issue, stop screaming, let the kid watch football with you or play football in the park. 2. If the child keeps doing things like that, then punishment is needed.
musikchik 6
Discipline does not disregard the child's feelings. A child should not be allowed to think that they can control any aspect of a household, including what the parents watch. Yes the parents can calm down, or explain that they really like their sports. Undisciplined, disrespectful kids are a big part of what's wrong with this world these days. And IDK what world you think you live in, but children under 5 are way too underestimated. Much smarter than a lot of people think and way too mischievous. Please, do the world a favor and discipline bratty kids.
ballpython 15
#122 I am a father of 3 kids. 16 year old, 5 and 2 years old. Plus my ex step-daughter. I have a pretty good idea of what I am doing,
xximikeixx 8
Bribe your kid? Take away all her stuff and see how she likes it.
AphroNikka 2
finally a child of wisdom; you freaks need to learn how to calm down when a piece of leather travels a few yards.
lsg3000 6
Tell her that your screaming is just half of her worst fears...wait until she meets "Mr. Belt"!
Girlie7 11
Did you try ice creams?
buttcramp 21
if it scares her when you yell then ******* respect her. she lives there too. power to her, she had a problem, figured out a good solution and she's sticking to her guns. yeah, it sucks but your kid sounds like a winner.
dachayke 16
She's 4 YEARS OLD!
buttcramp 21
she's a human being with thoughts, emotions, and needs.. that apparently aren't being met. a child shouldn't be scared in her own home every time daddy decides to watch TV.
twelve_oh_seven 11
Good girl
Hatilic_ 10
Today, you learned that you have no parental control over your 4-year old. What a great way at parenting I must say! Now go grow some and teach your child that you are the parent, NOT her!