Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Top comments
injuredathlete 12
someone needs to learn good behavior.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Your child is a genius!
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Comments (333)
Big_Pickle 18
Bad parenting 101
bunny409 14
well dont scream lol its always annoying to hear people scream watching football
whovian45 6
A: call your cable provider . B: do the basics (like her birthday) . C: when you get done, ground her as harshly as you can put upon her
Omniprism 14
Well what easy number would she know? Shouldn't be that hard.
Gnu_fml 9
I wish her behaviour would go viral! There is TOO MUCH sports on tv. I hate it. Smart kid!!! Kudos to her :)
Ananym 7
So your hate of sports should be forced upon every other person in the world? **** off.
Omniprism 14
Or tell her you will take all her toys away. Plus she might not even remember. There should be a way to unlock it in situations like this though. Call the maker.
G_bear24 9
Try a pony! The pony always works;D
CTPope74 13
IMO, They are the parents and the child is a child. Parent should punish the child for locking the TV. The TV does not belong to the child. On the other hand, Talk to the child. Since you know the problem, have respect for all the family members and try to keep it down when watching sports. This way the child knows not to do it again, and they will be able to talk to their parents if something is bothering them.
lashes_to_ashes 14
You're breeding a genius there, but why keep screaming if you know it scares your child?
ViviMage 39
It's football. Screaming and shouting is a normal response?
SuperMew 22
Actually, it isn't really.
5destroyer35 20
Hey, Stick-Up-Your-Assville is that way. Sorry, thought you were lost.
zip2dwess1 4
Really, bribing? Is that the way you have your kids listen to you??