By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield
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Yea I agree. This is just a poor discipline issue. If I ever even ATTEMPTED that, Id get my butt whooped. She's your daughter, if you let her get away with that kind of behavior, she'll grow up thinking she can do whatever. Hate to tell you OP, but this is really just poor parenting. Show her that it's bad, don't just let it happen.
Spanking a kid to make them stop kicking you? GREAT parenting. Jeez. If you wanna teach a kid not to hurt people, don't hurt them either!
129 spanking is a good answer to punishment if done right. There is not much reason to argue. People are entitled to their own opinions. However you explain to the kid why you are doing this, exactly how many they are getting, and that you really don't enjoy it. Trust me it works. It's not abuse. It's called discipline.
I think its CPS..Might be different where you are tho. But eff that, I would have never done that to my dad or anyone in fear of an ass whooping.. I personally don't think a JUSTIFIED spanking is anyone's business, ESPECIALLY CPS's. I am sure if someone from CPS walked into that house and got nailed in the junk the first thing they would think is that the parents needs to discipline their kid.. But they would rather take the kid away or threaten it If you spank a diaper and it doesn't even hurt the kid, in order to stop them from being a little jerk....
hitting your child for hitting is not very smart. You teach your child that its ok to hit. I was spanked but it was a different time, if my dad had punch a jerk in a bar for smacking my moms ass, he wouldnt have gone to jail or gotten sued. Today's USA its never ok to hit, even a justified one can get you sued. Its a different world today. We have to change with it. OP if your daughter is hitting you its not ok, she needs to know that. You need to punish her, not just a time out, its too big an issue. Do something she'd really hate, take something away that she LOVES or something else along those lines. Kids these days would rather get spanked than lose their phones for a weekend or their video games. Hit them where it counts, don't just hit them. . .
I don't know why so many people down voted your comment, you are correct. I am a foster parent and I know that there are kids that have been removed because of spanking. I think it's ridiculous. My parents spanked me but I always knew I deserved what I got. It's a shame that no one feels safe spanking their kids anymore. With that being said, my foster children are very well behaved, although they did not come to me that way. I have used behavioral charts and reward systems to encourage good behavior, but that doesn't mean one of my kids doesn't deserve a swat on the butt from time to time! But I grit my teeth and refrain, because I have to.
If you try to teach a kid not to kick you by whipping them, what do you think the kid will actually learn? The only think they'll get out of that is that if you're bigger than someone, you can do what the fuck you want to smaller people. Its bullshit, there are ways to discipline a kid without being violent. Hitting a kid only pisses them off and teaches them to hurt others to get what they want.
127, I think she meant for OP to use a sports cup to protect himself. As for spanking, or "hitting", I was spanked as a child and did not fear my elders because of it, as were many people. Good luck to you one day if you have a child that realizes they will never see a belt, because until I got spanked I thought I could do whatever I wanted. I learned through punishment.
No. Installing physical discipline to a child will teach that child to never do it again. Since the child doesn't want to get punished again, he/she will avoid committing the wrong actions. Grounding them won't do shit. I know what it feels like to get beat. Because I don't want to get beat again, I don't make the same mistake again.
131, I was spanked as a child and I learned not to beat up people smaller than me, instead to respect people, especially authority. Grow a pair and learn the difference between discipline and abuse. Please don't reproduce so your brat kid can wreck havoc on society because we fail to get on their level and talk it out and understand them.
Well, there are other possible punishments. Quick list: Fill a cup with cold water and pour it down her back. Call her "Tom" in front of her friends. Trick her into watching screamers and playing the scary maze game. Draw mustaches on her dolls. Stick gum in her hair at. Cut off a chunk of her hair. Tumbleweed her to the brink of tears. Crush her chips so that there's only crumbs. Do like a wet willie, but with peanut butter. Secretly give her nicotine patches while she sleeps until you think she's addicted, then stop so she goes through withdrawal. Take her to see a pony being put down. That oughtta do it.
Okay thunderstruck how old are you first of all, secondly yore parents were the kind that put you in a chair to "think about what you did" weren't they? My daddy spanked me, tripled my chore load, took away everything except my textbooks and bed, and one summer sent me to live with my aunt on their cattle ranch to punish ne. I never once took it as meaning that he was bigger and I was smaller so I could repeat that behavior. I took it as the punishment it was, and learned not to do whatever it was I want supposed to be doing. I'm now in a law enforcement academy, and let me tell you, they are very specific that a long as it us open hand, no more then 15 swats, doesn't leave bruises, and the child was told specifically what he did wrong, it's is DISCIPLINE not abuse. Everyone I know that was disciplined went off too become very productive members of society. The ones that weren't became entitled pieces of shit, or are in jail/on drugs.
Thumbed down? And a rant directed at me? Save your breath, buddy, that was a joke. Very disappointed in you mortals. I bet if I was Pedrix you people would have thought that was the greatest comment ever. tsk tsk tsk. Next time, I'll leave you Neanderthals a footnote when my comment was meant to be humorous so you know I wasn't serious. P.S. This comment was intended to be humorous.
That's a mean thing to say to a little girl. All OP has to do is talk to her and explain that hitting people is not okay, you don't say that she won't have any siblings or you don't hit her. You can't just say hitting people is bad and then hit her for being naughty. If the message doesn't get through by talking to her then just send her to her room or ban her from something.
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Violence leads to more violence. You NEVER hit a child! There are so many better ways to punish than physical punishment.
I disagree, It depends on who the child is. Different children respond (or rather don't) to different things. My parents would smack me when I did something very bad, and would often count "1,2....3" if I was doing something continuously naughty. They never had to count to three again after I'd learned what would happen, the first time. My point is, physical discipline can definitely have its uses depending on the child. I know for a fact that it certainly helped me, and I can tell you that in my case and in my sibling's cases, it did NOT lead to more violence; I am totally a pacifist in that way. Problem children, I feel, can easilt be turned around with some disciplining, and it doesn't have to be brutalising your child, but rather showing them the consequences of their actions and making them associate bad behaviour with equal consequence, making them averse to reproducing that action.
I was disciplined with both if the alternative punishment was not effective and I continued with the naughty behaviour then I was punished physically My sister and I turned out perfectly as did my cousins on my mothers side (I don't really know family on my fathers side so I can't comment) sometimes physical punishment is needed when the alternatives don't work
Parents aren't 'scared' just more informed. I'm a parent myself and have done a lot of reading on the topic of discipline. My little one is 15 months old and extremely inquisitive and loves to explore which means he is in everything and sometimes breaks things. He's just doing what is hardwired into his brain developmentally. He is learning. Spanking devalues the child, it teaches them to fear the parent instead of understand their actions. It causes them to believe they are bad and this is terribly destructive to their inner-being because from birth babies are shown love and made to feel incredibly special (which they are) by the parent, then as they become older and more in touch with their surroundings they learn where the parents limits lie. If parents introduce spanking and hitting, they end up confusing the child and they do not know who they are anymore - special or just naughty and bad. Now, a 7 year old can understand right and wrong (as opposed to my 15 month old) OP needs to explain to his daughter why what she is doing is wrong and how it's making him feel. Children are incredibly emotional and tend to empathise (once they learn) and often their reactions are emotional, they find it difficult to rationalise. This all needs to be taken into account when disciplining. OP, your daughter needs to learn WHY what she is doing is wrong and why it is upsetting you, if you just spank or hit it just reinforces that her behaviour has been acceptable and she will continue hitting others, maybe not adults but her peers. Empathy is extremely important for people to learn. If you can explain in a way that puts her in your shoes ie. "how would you feel if someone hit you in a place that hurt lots of times a day? You would be sad wouldn't you? That person would upset you wouldn't they?" She will consider this and empathise.
I understand what you are saying, sir. I respect and value what you have said. However, sometimes explaining just isn't enough. I am not saying beat the child down, but discipline should work for each child differently. I was spanked a few times growing up and the threat of a spanking was enough to stop certain behaviors. But my mother also took the time to explain to me what went on and why she punished me. Some children need spankings, some children need words. It depends on what works for the kid in question.
So if spanking is so terrible and harmful to a child's mental health, them how come our grandparents came out so well? Take a look at your next generation.. I have had a 5 year old cuss me out, seen 10 year olds make out, and kids throw a tantrum and lash out when they don't get the toy they want. You can coddle and protect your little angel all you want, they're just going to do it again because they didn't get in trouble in the first place therefore not understanding it was bad. I see any of my future kids doing crap like that they're getting a 'woopin and you can bet they ain't gunna to do that again. I'm tired of seeing parents think all a child needs is to be praised nomatter what. what a child needs is love and praise, and a good sense of what's right and wrong, good and bad. THATS how our grandparents were raised and they came out better than any of the self entitled, spoiled, pampered brats idiots are producing nowadays. Sorry for the essay, I'm done with my rant for the day :) goodday sir
I think that each generation has its own problem. Every generation thinks the next generation is filled with lazy brats. It is mostly because different values, improved technology, and a change in the way society works. While they were hardworking, saying our generation or the next is spoiled and lazy is not correct in all ways. We don't have the same amount of job opportunities, things cost more, etc. I know my grandmother was a racist, the called my friends the N-word and made me feel like an idiot for talking to people outside of my "class" and "race." I hated that about her and love that my generation is so connected to one another, for the most part. People don't care as much about race and creed among people my age. Either way, parents need to stop having bratty kids and think the world is going to take care of them.
I don't see why #27 got so many down votes. You don't tell your child that hitting people is bad and then hit them to teach them discipline. Just a tad hypocritical! OP totally deserves this because he doesn't even have the balls to tell his daughter that it's not right so now she sees it as a fun game. Maybe she is bored and has found this as the only entertainment. Take her to the park or something. I do understand that some kids don't learn from words and that physical discipline is the only way to teach them. Everyone has different views on how to raise their child and you just have to respect that.
The reason why our grandparents acted different was because they were born and raised in a different era. Back then, older men married teenage minors, a woman wasn't to step outside the kitchen, and follow her husband's lead, and children were humiliated in front of classrooms. We have come a long way from that era, and yes, chivalry does still exist. Some of the smartest people I know were never physically punished, and their manners are impeccable. What is missing in today's generation is a parent's ability to parent. I have seen a woman slap her child across the hands when he grabs the mother, and the next moment she watches her child throw objects at a cashier, and does nothing but stare. It doesn't affect her, so why should she care? Teaching morality and correct behavior has nothing to do with striking out, or not striking out, it has to do with consistency, and being able to understand what motivates the child. For every time you spank a child, there is a more positive way you could be handling the situation. Spanking is easy, yes, but in the long run, it probably isn't the most effective in redirecting behavior. The aspect of conditioning pain with bad behavior can become skewed in the minds of many children, because humans have the ability to think abstractly. Not only can the pain hurt us physically, but it can also take an emotional toll. Unfortunately, this was the case with my own experience, and I have to live with this pain for the rest of my life. Along with low self confidence, anxiety, and hallucinations, I lost all respect for my parents growing up, and always wanted to disappear. Using a positive approach to parenting (and no, that doesn't mean your child gets away with everything) means that your child will never have emotional scarring from punitive punishment. No, it doesn't happen to every child, and some children can handle more than others, the point is knowing when your child is experiencing too much of this internal pain. As a parent, you need to be aware of how your child feels, and what their limits are. Because spanking is not regulated,many parents, like my own, used the term to describe a punishment that went above and beyond a tap on the ass. Above all else, correction should never be done while angry or distressed, because in that moment, you are not considering the well being of your child, you are just venting your own frustration on someone who is weaker than you. I am all for parents being able to choose the way they wish to parent, but be aware of the signs of a child who is simply too distressed about being punished to even learn their lesson.
That's the stupidest way to parent a kid! Honestly, if the kid is hurting someone and you want the kid to stop because it isn't nice, why would you possibly come to the conclusion to do the same thing the kid is doing? What sort of example are you showing? This is stupid. The kid obviously needs to be disciplined, but anyone who thinks hitting their kid is a good way to teach them to be good is an idiot because they're not being a good person themselves.
65 honestly you are right when you say parents are more informed, but on things like car seats, and such. I just want to point out each kid responds to punishment in their own way. When I was a kid I enjoyed to be by myself, so timeout never worked. A spanking worked brilliantly. I knew what I did was wrong, because my parents explained that to me. I didn't do it again. Was I emotionally confused? Absolutely not. Now if my kids were to respond better to timeout ok, but I think spanking has its time and place.
I love how 65 gets thumbed down for saying how outdated hitting or spanking is when it is true. I was spanked and physically disciplined by my Father, it earned NO respect. I hated him for it while my Mother explained it to me and used new age techniques. If my Father had continued I know I would not have been as adjusted. Hell im amicable with my Father ONLY because of what my Mother taught me. So call it quack science. It works. Hitting reinforces bad behavior and makes you FEAR the parent. Think about yourself as a child not an adult. You excuse the abuse not because you turned out ok but because you convinced yourself that is why. Its not. Period. Physical discipline on a child is abuse. Im GLAD there are laws protecting our youth. The kids arent disrespectal because no one hit them. Period.
If you are learning all of your parenting skills from a book, that's a problem. And I don't agree with your statement. I've done stupid shit when I was younger, and my dad would spank me in the butt, and guess, what, not only did I learn me lesson and never did it again, I still love my dad and respect him. I'm actually glad he spanked me, because it made me a better person, and not a complete dumb ass like most of my new generation who were "grounded" for a couple of days. A spanking when needed is a good thing not bad. But society looks down upon laying a finger on a child, even when some really deserve it
I'm not saying that spanking is the only form of discipline, I was grounded and sent to timeout and such. Yeah sometimes those worked just as effectively, but other times I needed that spanking when the grounding and stern talking to wasn't enough. I in no way feared my parents or ever lost respect for them, I understood why it happened so I simply didn't do it again. I want to get something straight, spanking is NOT hitting. Hitting a child across the face is abuse. Spanking a child on the butt as a form of DISCIPLINE is not abuse. There is a big difference.
Discipline. Use it.
Must not hurt too bad considering you don't have balls to discipline and discuss your daughter's actions with her. She's 7! Come on, man! Grow a pair.