Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
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Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Top comments
injuredathlete 12
someone needs to learn good behavior.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Your child is a genius!
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Comments (333)
MixedGurl97 10
Call the company they will know what to do.
Kamon97 23
Can't you just call the service provider to have them take it off?
ThisIsKitt3n 6
"You're adopted! We're still in time to return you, so tell us the code." I'm not responsible for any mental problems and trust issues she might develop.
dachayke 16
I didn't know i would ever have a favorite comment.
thegreycat_fml 12
So basically you're saying to tell a four year old "Your parents didn't want you, and unless you do things we like, we don't want you." brilliant plan there. Please don't have kids.
ThisIsKitt3n 6
You must be fun at parties.
Tgo19053 15
Or you could just relax a little bit while watching sports
Masonjar13 10
Only 10,000 combinations (assuming 10^4), get to it! Sure you could just call the service provider, but this is much more fun. Right?
fantasyworld 37
She has feelings and the screaming scared her so she took matters into her own hands to make it stop. OP needs to tone down the screaming or she goes to a friend's or babysitter's house.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
She doesn't need bribing. She needs punishing.
evig_fml 16
I agree with this, only because I feel bribery will only encourage behavior like this, and I assume when you say punishment you don't mean something over the top.
SuperMew 22
I am not an expert, but I have taken parenting classes. You don't bribe the child or punish them for this behavior. You talk to them about what scares them, assure them you will work on the behavior, and then you tell them not to do things like this again or there will be consequences. Yelling and bribing only makes the child feel like the parents have lost control. While you want your child to feel like they can come to you, they are your child not your friend. You can have a friendship with them when they are adult and you no longer need to help develop their moral code. In this case, Op obviously did not listen to their child. I have never seen a child go so far as to 'hide' something unless it scared the shit out of them. I hid matches, because fire scared me. My sister hid dolls because they scared her. And my brother broke the TV because my dad let him watch Poltergeist. He got in trouble for breaking property, but not for being afraid. They just told him to talk to them about what scared him and not to break things. Op needs to explain to their kid what is going on. They need to stop screaming and watch sports like normal people (without being obnoxious.) They also need to learn to listen to their kid and not put sports above their mental health.
Blazefina 5
normal people yell at football well in Australia...people go crazy over football.
Dcm210 19
Lock her up in the closet.
domolovesyoshi 33
call the company they can remove the code, oh and STOP GOING COMPLETELY BAT SHIT CRAZY, when playing sports and scaring her, do you just not care whether or not you terrify your child?
perdix 29
The kid should learn enough football to know when to scream along with everyone else. That's the fun of sport.
miss_mercy 15
She is FOUR YEARS OLD.
mperniciaro 15
You really couldn't tell that he was joking?
kurodansei 16
four year olds are very capable of learning through imitation.... so joke or no joke teaching her to scream along is a valid option.
ErinPinelli 24
And?
Thunderstruck14 30
Maybe the kid doesn't want to scream. I know how football works and I still don't want to watch it. Its all just personal preference, so what if the kid just doesn't like watching football and screaming? She doesn't need to join in. People should respect what their family members like, but that doesn't mean they all have to watch the same shows together and get excited over the same things.
mikewally 6
Tie her to a chair and make her watch as you douse her favorite doll with gasoline and threaten to lite it. If that doesn't work...call the provider and see if you can get the code. lol
abusch 9
I'd like to nominate your daughter for a Nobel prize. For good taste in television viewing.