Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
injuredathlete 12
someone needs to learn good behavior.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Your child is a genius!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (333)
Leimyah 23
I hope my daughter will be as smart as yours.
pengowl 3
If you scare your daughter you shouldn't watch it with her at home. Is football more important than your daughter, really? My compliments though, on getting such a clever child.
Luigi2012SM64DS 6
Try code 4357.
Laura3415 16
Lmfaooo I'd kill for a little sister like that
Oaktree5891 6
Parents these days: they're to afraid to punish their children. Sounds like someone needs a good ass-whoopin, and some parents need to be properly educated on how to discipline their children.
justindrew14 29
I'd kill that kid. that sucks for you op have fun tryin together the code.
lux0rd 18
Really? Playing with buttons until it set the parent lock = death penalty? That seems fair.
SpideyRules 9
PWNT!!!
driinkbleach 18
People taking this post wayyy to seriously. Its kinda a cute story, obviously the kid is fairly smart for a four year old too :)
Darksoul09 16
your daughter is a winner!
JazNim17 18
When I was six, I found out that chewing tobacco can lead to mouth cancer. I went around the house and collected every single can of it I could find and hid them in my room. Why? I was scared my dad would get cancer and die. When kids feel like no one cares about their fears, they take things into their own hands. I don't agree with those who keep jumping to "punish her!" yet, but you do need to make it clear that a punishment will happen if she does it again. It might also be a good idea to take her to a local high school football game, to help her get used to it. Above all she needs to know that the yelling during a game is normal and not directed at her.