Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Top comments
injuredathlete 12
someone needs to learn good behavior.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Your child is a genius!
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Comments (333)
LifeOfAnRN 18
If she understood the screaming was only because of football games an figured out how to block them I think she's just manipulating her parents. Maybe it's not the screaming that bothers her it's the lack of attention she gets on game days.
ileenefudge 29
To those who are saying to ground her, she has done her fair share of screaming ect., quit being dumb. 1. The child is a four year old 2. If she/he went though all the trouble to block football from her/his parents there is a good reason. 3. You can not compare a child screaming at the playground or throwing a tantrum to that of an adult. We are louder because we are older and our screams bother them more than theirs bother us. OP needs to take a break from football and focus on the kid. Bribing their child won't work because chances are she/he already forgot the password, and all their kid wants is for the parents to listen to how they feel. They are scared of OP screaming during the football game and she made it obvious. If OP is ignoring the child for a game like football when she has made it clear that she/he is scared, then OP has a problem, not the kid who took drastic measures to get their parents attention
zoegirl_455 30
Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't football games usually later in the day? Maybe she's really scared because she's in another room sleeping while her parents are screaming. Maybe you could catch an afternoon game and show your daughter what's really upsetting you guys and try to tone it down in the meantime. Whatever the situation, an explanation would help a ton, it's just a game ect...And then you can get that code back!
tj4234 35
This is actually genius. Your child will do well in the future.
yorkie0333 13
Nice! I hate football too! Wish i knew how to do that back then!
StaySolid 5
Lol .. Oops, how do you delete comments?
PainOfDemise 11
Beat her ass and then call the cable company if she won't give it up.
darshanbidkar 11
smart kid!
notapotato 12
Your daughter is a genius!
ballpython 15
"Hey mommy, I'm scared of the dark so I'm not going to bed when you tell me, and I am scared of vegetables, and school"... see my point? We all should allow children do as they please because that is what parents are expected to do these days in order to get kids to behave. And people wonder why all these kids are out of ******* control. call the manufacturer and reset the TV then block everything and since you are the parent you get to decide who watches what. You are the parent and she is the child. Take ******* control. (source: a father for over 20 years) Is there an achievement for most negative votes?
the_Corruptor 3
Finally someone that makes some sense!!