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By
Glitterhinoceros
| 14
Yeah, that's not very attractive >.>
By
GrooveTurtle
| 0
She be trollin?
COMMENTS
By
Glitterhinoceros
| 14
Yeah, that's not very attractive >.>
Reply
Pr0metheus
| 7
Retracted into your body? So you're a dog then? Fascinating!
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EduJav321
| 24
She needs lessons
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xXxIracebethxXx
| 14
Did anyone else think of that one Scary Movie scene with the two black people? "I will shit on these walls!!!"
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Andr913
| 13
"I want to fellate you so bad" made me literally LOL.
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Damn_Hippster
| 11
I don't know what you guys are talking about, the word tushy alone, practically made my dick fall off.
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nonamericandolla
| 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
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biggestfan23
| 11
I hope she was joking or something because as #1 said, that's not attractive
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Rachel1987
| 4
It's not attractive but it sounds like op's "girlfriend" is some sort of mail order bride. Be nice, she just learned English.
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msjoyfull84
| 0
Now wonder I keep getting dumped.........
Facepalm
Facepalm
Reply
iteenlovequotes
| 19
wow... sexy tonee
haha this made my day, I laughed a ton
but sorry that you got nothing good out of it :/
the last time I heard Tushy was when I watched The Nanny
haha this made my day, I laughed a ton
but sorry that you got nothing good out of it :/
the last time I heard Tushy was when I watched The Nanny
Reply
jlee98
| 0
But you are
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naughtia
| 14
At least she's willing to "fellate" you?
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monkeysareyummy
| 0
I literally have never heard the word "tushy" spoken out loud. Ever.
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
52- You jelly?
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gojira666
| 7
E for effort. Send her to my house.
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Cedar4
| 1
And for my next trick.......
Reply
Betweenlions
| 0
52 You know as well as the rest of us that we all wait for something bad to happen so we can post it on FML >.>
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Angitia
| 8
I pity you, though in order to help yourself, criticise her constructively.
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godofswag
| 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
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GovernorGeneral
| 8
138- teachers say it all the time aha
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tweetbaby14
| 17
122, because you made the duck-face, I couldn't bring myself to thumb you up. I apologize.
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diidiimi
| 10
Tee hee.... It reminds me of that college humor skit where the chick keeps saying things like "I'm gonna make it so dry for you"!
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theaws0m3guy
| 4
A blowjob's a blowjob...
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xXxIracebethxXx
| 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
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Sinamoi
| 18
201- STOP YELLING!!
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Vulpes21
| 6
235, you sound like a whiny little who hit puberty.
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Vulpes21
| 6
*bitch
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xXxIracebethxXx
| 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
Show it anyway
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CockAsian
| 14
*grabs popcorn*
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CalebEatsZombies
| 2
Pass the popcorn, this is so intense *watches in anticipation*
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Neorecon19
| 18
I think OP's gf is more into S&M thana he is...
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sweetness17
| 7
did she at least have a tuhy worth looking at?
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sweetness17
| 7
tushy*
By
GrooveTurtle
| 0
She be trollin?
Reply
ethan_roth13
| 0
Haha
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wierdos_rule
| 0
Girlfriend: "Wait, where'd it go?!"
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Sparks808
| 10
At least she didn't go: Does Princess Sophia want to come out and play?!
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MrFloatingToast
| 0
People see me trollin' they be hatin'
Reply
IAdminIFlow
| 0
This comment made my day haha
Reply
matt98_fml
| 13
Lol I find it funny that this comment has 69 thumbs up.
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kiran_fml
| 5
they try to catch me talkin dirty
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lebronesque73091
| 12
Yeah, that sounds like a major turnoff.
Reply
zachattack112492
| 4
Doesn't matter, had sex
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DarkSanster
| 7
HA no...
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meihua
| 19
70Your profile picture is not FML appropriate
By
KEEK17
| 5
wow that can happen?
Reply
williemac987
| 5
Yea, just find a few termite women and your wood is gone!!
Reply
FUUUandyourmom
| 16
Obbbviously.
//Severus Snape voice
//Severus Snape voice
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Wassupwassup
| 0
No only in pornos... c'mon really?
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BillyDisselhorst
| 3
Are you retarded? You sure look retarded. I would fix the picture of you asap. =)
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buck33
| 14
Wait.. That's not normal?
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alikat1231
| 0
Everytime I see the word obviously it automatically goes to Severus's voice anyway
By
nathanc3433
| 7
I guess to each their own
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Furrywhiplash
| 14
Do you know what you just said? Because I sure as hell don't.
Reply
wittygirl
| 8
Yea I don't get what the hell you just babbled either - thumbs down-
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williemac987
| 5
It's actually a well known saying, "to each their own!"
Reply
clauderah
| 5
It's actually 'To each his own', but you more or less got the vibe.
Reply
Furrywhiplash
| 14
So I was wrong in my first comment, but it got more thumbs up... That confuses me. How well known is the saying?
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godisnowhere41
| 5
Quite, but atleast you know it know
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imustbeinsane
| 2
108- You couldve waited before thumbing down. People just go trigger happy with the thumbing down on here
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tweetbaby14
| 17
196, I was thumbing people down on my iPhone 10 before it was cool. *scoffs*
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iliketurdles
| 7
Does getting thumbed down have a direct link to your self worth?
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MissMae93
| 23
108 - By dictionary definition, wit is "the natural ability to perceive and understand; intelligence." I have this strange feeling you picked the wrong screen name if you're never heard that saying before...
By
MrSexyPants
| 14
Haha I imagined it retracting like a light saber. That situation sounds so uncomfortable.
Reply
CaptainPickles72
| 18
It would be even more like a light-saber if he was wearing a glow in the dark condom!
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MrSassypants
| 32
And then Luke goes in and grabs it and starts swinging it around and... I think I am getting to excited here.
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MrSassypants
| 32
too* that "to" needed two o's. >:(
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The_Hitdude
| 12
^You mad? Oh, wait. Should've read your name before I said that...
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dabomb1463
| 0
I love ur name Mr. Sexypants and urs to Mr. Sassypants
Reply
CaptainPickles72
| 18
And I'm the pickle between the two pants! ;)
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drawmesunshine
| 17
And I'm the one awkwardly demanding artistically rendered pictographical representations of the sun and all of it's shine.
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drawmesunshine
| 17
Pictorial**
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CremeEggs
| 6
And I am the Creme Egg that give you energy, and possible aphrodisiac qualities for such times when you fornicate.
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aisthecoolest
| 8
A light saber? I pictured It being sucked into a vortex ;D
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bunniex1
| 11
omg I just laughed for about two minutes
By
DontModMeDammit
| 10
Yay! You can scissor now!!!
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CaptainPickles72
| 18
I hate that every time someone says "scissor" or "scissoring" I think of Ms. Garrison...
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BeefyQueef
| 5
49-It's comforting to know I'm not the only one
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Pr0metheus
| 7
Oh yeah scissor me Xurxes!
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nightfire2258
| 24
Thanks for that... Now I will too
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Kayokku
| 1
Scissor me timbers ;)
By
Diagon197
| 5
Dude if u lose your boner around a girl it could mean your gay
Reply
KaySL
| 24
His gay what? And that doesn't explain getting a boner to begin with, Son of Twat.
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jrtorres93
| 0
Lol...
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Ferretface
| 13
No, if you're attracted to men your gay.
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Ferretface
| 13
*You're. God, I'm stupid.
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Ferretface
| 13
*You're. God, I'm stupid.
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glittercookies
| 12
I guess words like "tushy" turn you on.
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cBlackout
| 13
So if I put you next to Rosie o'donnell youre saying you would get a boner?
Reply
flockz
| 19
i have a feeling that no girl has ever seen diagon's boner before.
Reply
littletinyME
| 5
This makes me sad for humanity :(
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aliaskis
| 3
I wonder if they have seen Diagon's Alley though?
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TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
158- are your tits a gay test for this lil discussion going on?
Reply
eminemop
| 0
Ferretface, I would like your comment, but it has 69 likes at the moment and I am far too immature to change that.
Reply
lrgenesis
| 19
135- I feel like diagon has never seen diagons boner before
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aisthecoolest
| 8
You're. A. Douche.
By
baseballplaya5
| 7
You have a weird girlfriend
Reply
MrFloatingToast
| 0
You don't have a friend
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j_cat187
| 19
Sounds like a fun girl
By
karkid619
| 8
Thats wrong...
By
SupahAsian
| 4
Never underestimate the sexiness of ice.
Reply
upyourzlolz
| 11
But I've never seen dirty talk that's so... Dirty!