By ugh - United States

Smooth talker

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36678

You deserved it

5543

Favorite

Intimacy

Proactive

Thanks, I'm cured!

Oh, he's a "Nice Guy"

By horn-y - United States

Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8420

You deserved it

59958

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33403

You deserved it

2715

Favorite

By NoseInPain - United States

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52376

You deserved it

3968

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Denied!

Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML

I agree, your life sucks

84562

You deserved it

6624

Favorite

By anon - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25588

You deserved it

2645

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58801

You deserved it

7731

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18213

You deserved it

61424

Favorite

By loon - France

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70687

You deserved it

9714

Favorite

By LizP40 - United States

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks

63799

You deserved it

9360

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

18920

You deserved it

25417

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Huntington

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45816

You deserved it

7026

Favorite

By peniswoman - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53915

You deserved it

18241

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41974

You deserved it

5871

Favorite

By Anonymous - Singapore - Singapore

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58105

You deserved it

7576

Favorite

By DemCherries - United States - Overland Park

Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9086

You deserved it

543

Favorite

By StudMuffinette - United States

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet shih tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35151

You deserved it

2961

Favorite

By Brandon - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me from her parents' house where she is visiting. They were BBQing outside when out of the blue her childhood friend Adam showed up at the door for the BBQ. She asked her parents why he was there, and her dad replied that he "wants her to know that she has options." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44578

You deserved it

2963

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59353

You deserved it

17163

Favorite

By puzzled - United Kingdom

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32598

You deserved it

3210

Favorite

By whyme - United States - Crescent

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56372

You deserved it

4447

Favorite

By DFR - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41528

You deserved it

23647

Favorite

By YipYop - United States - Brandon

Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23738

You deserved it

1907

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26176

You deserved it

2722

Favorite

By DrunkParents - United States - Billings

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29749

You deserved it

2713

Favorite

By Phil - France

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25325

You deserved it

2926

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27183

You deserved it

2556

Favorite

By motheroftwo - Norway

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33549

You deserved it

6650

Favorite

By Anonymous - India - Ahmedabad

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41652

You deserved it

6307

Favorite

By castironstomach

Today, I learned that my daughter will literally eat until she is sick to keep her father and brothers from getting her dessert. I also learned that my boys are sympathetic vomiters. All five of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2670

You deserved it

343

Favorite

By curseyousuperman - United States - Conway

Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23767

You deserved it

6643

Favorite

By LukeyBoy - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the road when a twat on a quad-bike smashed into my leg. It seems that I should've been "walking on the right side of the pavement." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24775

You deserved it

3624

Favorite

By Chubsley - United States

Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9800

You deserved it

50811

Favorite

By GlassJAwkidE - United States

Today, I learned there is a taste difference between grabbing a glass of milk that has been sitting on your night table for a week and the one you put on there 3 minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8013

You deserved it

64118

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/3/2021 08:01

Morning conversation

Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

603

You deserved it

146

Favorite

By Fmylife - United States

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9241

You deserved it

120694

Favorite

By WhatADickens

The early bird gets the worm!

Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4685

You deserved it

373

Favorite

By lifesucks4me - United States

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

I agree, your life sucks

160634

You deserved it

13737

Favorite

By Telemarket - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25397

You deserved it

2239

Favorite

By Takuma - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21524

You deserved it

94902

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Avon

Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20214

You deserved it

1361

Favorite

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Top comments

By Glitterhinoceros | 14

#3968755 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:05

Yeah, that's not very attractive >.>

By GrooveTurtle | 0

#3968758 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:05

She be trollin?

COMMENTS

By Glitterhinoceros | 14

#3968755 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:05

Yeah, that's not very attractive >.>

Pr0metheus | 7

#3968812 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:16

Retracted into your body? So you're a dog then? Fascinating!

EduJav321 | 24

#3968818 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:16

She needs lessons

xXxIracebethxXx | 14

#3968821 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:17

Did anyone else think of that one Scary Movie scene with the two black people? "I will shit on these walls!!!"

Andr913 | 13

#3969406 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:40

"I want to fellate you so bad" made me literally LOL.

Damn_Hippster | 11

#3969411 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:42

I don't know what you guys are talking about, the word tushy alone, practically made my dick fall off.

nonamericandolla | 6

#3969415 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:42

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

biggestfan23 | 11

#3969418 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:42

I hope she was joking or something because as #1 said, that's not attractive

Rachel1987 | 4

#3969545 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:00

It's not attractive but it sounds like op's "girlfriend" is some sort of mail order bride. Be nice, she just learned English.

msjoyfull84 | 0

#3969666 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:21

Now wonder I keep getting dumped.........
Facepalm

iteenlovequotes | 19

#3969929 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:17

wow... sexy tonee
haha this made my day, I laughed a ton
but sorry that you got nothing good out of it :/
the last time I heard Tushy was when I watched The Nanny

jlee98 | 0

#3969939 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:19

But you are

naughtia | 14

#3970054 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:47

At least she's willing to "fellate" you?

monkeysareyummy | 0

#3970057 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:48

I literally have never heard the word "tushy" spoken out loud. Ever.

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#3970144 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:04

52- You jelly?

gojira666 | 7

#3970316 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:53

E for effort. Send her to my house.

Cedar4 | 1

#3970352 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 7:00

And for my next trick.......

Betweenlions | 0

#3970400 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 7:17

52 You know as well as the rest of us that we all wait for something bad to happen so we can post it on FML >.>

Angitia | 8

#3970488 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:07

I pity you, though in order to help yourself, criticise her constructively.

godofswag | 6

#3970922 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 9:38

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

GovernorGeneral | 8

#3970933 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 9:40

138- teachers say it all the time aha

tweetbaby14 | 17

#3971135 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 11:40

122, because you made the duck-face, I couldn't bring myself to thumb you up. I apologize.

diidiimi | 10

#3971155 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 11:51

Tee hee.... It reminds me of that college humor skit where the chick keeps saying things like "I'm gonna make it so dry for you"!

theaws0m3guy | 4

#3971721 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 15:37

A blowjob's a blowjob...

xXxIracebethxXx | 14

#3972152 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 18:12

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Sinamoi | 18

#3973060 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 22:41

201- STOP YELLING!!

Vulpes21 | 6

#3974072 - Wednesday 1 February 2012 2:22

235, you sound like a whiny little who hit puberty.

Vulpes21 | 6

#3974082 - Wednesday 1 February 2012 2:25

*bitch

xXxIracebethxXx | 14

#3974359 - Wednesday 1 February 2012 3:55

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

CockAsian | 14

#3974937 - Wednesday 1 February 2012 7:05

*grabs popcorn*

CalebEatsZombies | 2

#3976298 - Wednesday 1 February 2012 15:12

Pass the popcorn, this is so intense *watches in anticipation*

Neorecon19 | 18

#3976907 - Wednesday 1 February 2012 17:37

I think OP's gf is more into S&M thana he is...

sweetness17 | 7

#3997730 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:25

did she at least have a tuhy worth looking at?

sweetness17 | 7

#3997733 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:27

tushy*

By GrooveTurtle | 0

#3968758 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:05

She be trollin?

ethan_roth13 | 0

#3969287 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:22

Haha

wierdos_rule | 0

#3969507 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:55

Girlfriend: "Wait, where'd it go?!"

Sparks808 | 10

#3969552 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:01

At least she didn't go: Does Princess Sophia want to come out and play?!

MrFloatingToast | 0

#3969606 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:09

People see me trollin' they be hatin'

IAdminIFlow | 0

#3970003 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:34

This comment made my day haha

matt98_fml | 13

#3970369 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 7:05

Lol I find it funny that this comment has 69 thumbs up.

kiran_fml | 5

#3970462 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 7:50

they try to catch me talkin dirty

lebronesque73091 | 12

#3972980 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 22:31

Yeah, that sounds like a major turnoff.

zachattack112492 | 4

#3973260 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 23:20

Doesn't matter, had sex

DarkSanster | 7

#4358965 - Thursday 26 April 2012 20:25

HA no...

meihua | 19

#4768976 - Friday 3 August 2012 19:26

70Your profile picture is not FML appropriate

By KEEK17 | 5

#3968760 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:07

wow that can happen?

williemac987 | 5

#3969618 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:12

Yea, just find a few termite women and your wood is gone!!

FUUUandyourmom | 16

#3969763 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:42

Obbbviously.

//Severus Snape voice

Wassupwassup | 0

#3969958 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:23

No only in pornos... c'mon really?

BillyDisselhorst | 3

#3970105 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:57

Are you retarded? You sure look retarded. I would fix the picture of you asap. =)

buck33 | 14

#3970358 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 7:03

Wait.. That's not normal?

alikat1231 | 0

#3970430 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 7:31

Everytime I see the word obviously it automatically goes to Severus's voice anyway

By nathanc3433 | 7

#3968762 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:07

I guess to each their own

Furrywhiplash | 14

#3969765 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:42

Do you know what you just said? Because I sure as hell don't.

wittygirl | 8

#3969781 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:44

Yea I don't get what the hell you just babbled either - thumbs down-

williemac987 | 5

#3969804 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:50

It's actually a well known saying, "to each their own!"

clauderah | 5

#3969887 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:07

It's actually 'To each his own', but you more or less got the vibe.

Furrywhiplash | 14

#3970010 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:36

So I was wrong in my first comment, but it got more thumbs up... That confuses me. How well known is the saying?

godisnowhere41 | 5

#3970038 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:42

Quite, but atleast you know it know

imustbeinsane | 2

#3970706 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:48

108- You couldve waited before thumbing down. People just go trigger happy with the thumbing down on here

tweetbaby14 | 17

#3971146 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 11:43

196, I was thumbing people down on my iPhone 10 before it was cool. *scoffs*

iliketurdles | 7

#3971370 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 12:53

Does getting thumbed down have a direct link to your self worth?

MissMae93 | 23

#3971682 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 15:08

108 - By dictionary definition, wit is "the natural ability to perceive and understand; intelligence." I have this strange feeling you picked the wrong screen name if you're never heard that saying before...

By MrSexyPants | 14

#3968764 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:07

Haha I imagined it retracting like a light saber. That situation sounds so uncomfortable.

CaptainPickles72 | 18

#3969382 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:37

It would be even more like a light-saber if he was wearing a glow in the dark condom!

MrSassypants | 32

#3969653 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:20

And then Luke goes in and grabs it and starts swinging it around and... I think I am getting to excited here.

MrSassypants | 32

#3969741 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:34

too* that "to" needed two o's. >:(

The_Hitdude | 12

#3969752 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:37

^You mad? Oh, wait. Should've read your name before I said that...

dabomb1463 | 0

#3970006 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:35

I love ur name Mr. Sexypants and urs to Mr. Sassypants

CaptainPickles72 | 18

#3970059 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:48

And I'm the pickle between the two pants! ;)

drawmesunshine | 17

#3970346 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 7:00

And I'm the one awkwardly demanding artistically rendered pictographical representations of the sun and all of it's shine.

drawmesunshine | 17

#3970361 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 7:03

Pictorial**

CremeEggs | 6

#3970427 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 7:28

And I am the Creme Egg that give you energy, and possible aphrodisiac qualities for such times when you fornicate.

aisthecoolest | 8

#4006014 - Tuesday 7 February 2012 22:01

A light saber? I pictured It being sucked into a vortex ;D

bunniex1 | 11

#4019029 - Friday 10 February 2012 22:41

omg I just laughed for about two minutes

By DontModMeDammit | 10

#3968767 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:08

Yay! You can scissor now!!!

CaptainPickles72 | 18

#3969398 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:39

I hate that every time someone says "scissor" or "scissoring" I think of Ms. Garrison...

BeefyQueef | 5

#3969444 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:46

49-It's comforting to know I'm not the only one

Pr0metheus | 7

#3969517 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:57

Oh yeah scissor me Xurxes!

nightfire2258 | 24

#3969746 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:35

Thanks for that... Now I will too

Kayokku | 1

#3970015 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:37

Scissor me timbers ;)

By Diagon197 | 5

#3968769 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:08

Dude if u lose your boner around a girl it could mean your gay

KaySL | 24

#3968784 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:10

His gay what? And that doesn't explain getting a boner to begin with, Son of Twat.

jrtorres93 | 0

#3968787 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:11

Lol...

Ferretface | 13

#3968792 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:13

No, if you're attracted to men your gay.

Ferretface | 13

#3968804 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:14

*You're. God, I'm stupid.

Ferretface | 13

#3968805 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:14

*You're. God, I'm stupid.

glittercookies | 12

#3969362 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:33

I guess words like "tushy" turn you on.

cBlackout | 13

#3969910 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:13

So if I put you next to Rosie o'donnell youre saying you would get a boner?

flockz | 19

#3970024 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:38

i have a feeling that no girl has ever seen diagon's boner before.

littletinyME | 5

#3970165 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:09

This makes me sad for humanity :(

aliaskis | 3

#3970198 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:17

I wonder if they have seen Diagon's Alley though?

TourettesGuyFTW | 25

#3970242 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:27

158- are your tits a gay test for this lil discussion going on?

eminemop | 0

#3970311 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:51

Ferretface, I would like your comment, but it has 69 likes at the moment and I am far too immature to change that.

lrgenesis | 19

#3970907 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 9:32

135- I feel like diagon has never seen diagons boner before

aisthecoolest | 8

#4006020 - Tuesday 7 February 2012 22:06

You're. A. Douche.

By baseballplaya5 | 7

#3968776 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:09

You have a weird girlfriend

MrFloatingToast | 0

#3969862 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:01

You don't have a friend

j_cat187 | 19

#3969871 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:03

Sounds like a fun girl

By karkid619 | 8

#3968778 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:09

Thats wrong...

By SupahAsian | 4

#3968780 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 3:10

Never underestimate the sexiness of ice.

upyourzlolz | 11

#3969800 - Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:49

But I've never seen dirty talk that's so... Dirty!