By idrathernotgiveoutmyname - 31/01/2012 02:50 - Canada

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 916
You deserved it 8 873

Same thing different taste

Top comments


That just means he likes you too. He may even be willing to be your FIRST! sexual partner!

GovernorGeneral 8

Aha first impressions like this usually get you to like the guy. Then you get to Know him..and stalk his fb...and you find ..stuff about him that would turn people off :/

1 - Gotta slip that "First!" post in there somewhere. Very clever.

markrs 0

I don't see what's wrong with this FML. Silly girl, romance is for movies!

If she's turned off by guys that jerk off then i don't see how OP has ever dated in her life :-O

LoonyKev - She's turned off by a guy who she isn't even dating yet telling her that he's jacking off at this very moment. I think that's a bit different from knowing in general that he does jack off. I apologize if you were being sarcastic...

kateheartswaffle 0

It's been nearly a year since I've watched Jersey Shore and I definitely imagined that in Snooki's voice. Okay, I am done here. *hides behind cat*

peachesncreem 21

A guy jerking off to you ISN'T a compliment? And here I was getting all flattered each time.

So he was suddenly dumb, humourless, overweight, and ugly?

I didn't know jacking of changed an entire persons character!

stevenJB 25

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
BeaterOfTheDrums 15

3- No, he's simply just like every other male. We need to swipe the pipe while it's still ripe.

The opposite of athletic isn't overweight, just saying

Dante17 6

People have needs like everyone else do, difference is that they don't publish it

Yup, since girls never do that, now do they

Darklord53 0

That's not a good excuse to say you're jerking though.

We whack off a lot. If u want a boyfriend u gotta get used to it what can I say

ThisIsMyReign 4

And he was thinking the exact same thing in his moment of glory.

WearingHats 14
stewpididiot 11

Well , ya gotta realize that 95% of Guys jack off... The other 5%.....

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

"Hey you think that girl is hot?" "no!"

alstbv12 13
GoW_Chick 14

... are to busy jacking off to be a part of this statistic.

RedMosquito 4

Tragically lost their hands in a chipper shredder accident.

23% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

72% of all statistics are made up on the spot.