Intimacy: Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Spicy

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 001

You deserved it 4 306

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 311

You deserved it 2 764

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 074

You deserved it 1 157

By StretchNuts - 11/03/2010 12:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 468

You deserved it 4 825

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 969

You deserved it 5 604

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 488

You deserved it 11 509

Dirty talk

By CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 237

You deserved it 2 209

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 734

You deserved it 5 666

By eeh - 07/05/2009 14:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 644

You deserved it 103 464

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Spicy

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 59 092

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 774

You deserved it 4 441

Next

Top comments

Xquisite1 28

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:25

Just tell him that "your" dick loves ******* "his" pussy. Problem solved.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:26

a brain fart over a real fart any day

Comments

JefferyLillie 16

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:24

Omg. xD. did he lose his boner. I would have laughed so hard I would have lost mine.

incoherentrmblr 21

Sunday 1 March 2015 19:58

Wouldn't you love ******* your own pussy?...

Xquisite1 28

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:25

Just tell him that "your" dick loves ******* "his" pussy. Problem solved.

FutueMeamVitam 24

Sunday 1 March 2015 5:34

Shouldn't the quote marks go around "dick" and "pussy", though?

Eyalsh 32

Sunday 1 March 2015 6:09

no, they shouldn't. it's meant to say that they own their partners' reproductive organ, thus referring to it as "mine".

SamBeast 18

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:25

lol he's a keeper ?

rae_2000 5

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:26

Are you sure he's a man? lol

photographer49 22

Saturday 28 February 2015 22:28

#4 kind of hard to make that sort of mistake when everyone is naked.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:26

a brain fart over a real fart any day

spookyboy 20

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:27

Maybe deep down he'd like to try being bottom one day lol

Knastyy 8

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:28

maybe there's another reason that popped into his head eh?

ProfessorMctitie 20

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:29

You should have whispered, i know

jpsullivan 36

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:30

you gotta be able to laugh during sex. and who knows, maybe he got tongue tied because youre just that good in bed.

NthDakotaBeaches 12

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:32

Or.... Maybe he was referring to himself in the second (third?) person and was calling your genitalia "his" in a possessive way.

invadermaythe1st 35

Saturday 28 February 2015 12:11

That... Doesn't make sense...

tygerarmy 35

Saturday 28 February 2015 13:41

It could. He could've gotten tongue tied, like others have said and mixed "I love your pussy" and "Yeah, that's my ******* pussy."

russfml 31

Saturday 28 February 2015 14:32

A third person would be calling yourself by your own name. I'm pretty sure OP doesn't really have a pussy lol

megan_login 6

Saturday 28 February 2015 21:00

yes she does, she has her gender listed right there.

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You deserved it 5 627

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I agree, your life sucks 55 487

You deserved it 8 380