Real estate

By John - 20/07/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 935
You deserved it 12 196

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I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.


tell her your priceless :p

iSitt 0

why would she agree to come over right after the "just be friends speech"?

there never was a speech, but I guess he felt the vibes.

Your priceless what? Oh, you mean 'You're priceless'.

-37 We knew what he meant

Your priceless what? Oh, you mean 'You're priceless'.

40- it's not my fault that some people are born retarded. take you as an example. when there is one small grammar mistake, your handicapped brain is unable to comprehend the rest of the phrase. even though, unless you have lived in a dark cellar all your life, which your parents should have done to save the everyone else having the pain of interacting with you, you would have realized this the interwebz, and people can do what the **** they like without needing some retarded advice from you.

I don't understand a damn thing that kid says half of the time.

#37 obviously understood what the commenter meant by the grammatically incorrect sentence. You can't spend much time online without coming across that kind of thing countless times. However, mixing up "your" and "you're" actually makes the original commenter look like more of an idiot than Youshitme does for correcting him in a non-conventional way.

ibitehard 9

XD My name is Emily, I would like to claim OP, unless he's really ugly, then he can be sold :3 sowwy for being shallow. :p

dani212 0

126, you shallowness is not excused

yomommma 6

Yea because you aren't worth shit.

gene818 13

As a way to try and get her back or as a last insult?

then she'll write free on his leg lol that might be worse than selling him.

poor op! Your 'girlfriend' is kind of a bitch for doing that to you. You don't write property of _____ on somebody's body if you are just friends. Talk about a tease....

fthku 13

#57, you're being quite a hypocrite. You said it's the internet, everyone can do whatever the **** they want, right? So, youshitme can correct you all he wants. It looks like you should take your own advice.

"If it lacks a price... It's probably worthless."

I'm offering $25, and a six pack of beer.

$20??? Damn son I'd do anything for that. Want a ********?

I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.

flockz 19

my bid- my sister's virginity.

-9 15$ unless your toothless.

it's not just about the bjs bro, you OWN that person. Use him for stem cell or sell his soul to the devil for millions or shit I dunno

il give you the elder wand and the invisibility cloak.

Bro. Now I ain't no *****. $20 or you don't get any of this. You want something for $15? Don't make me get my daddy up in here.

10- I remember that FML

FMMFL1992 3

What a tool bag. Why would you let her write on you?

I've heard of signs of wanting to break up. but this is just too literal

donny31459 0

Uhh I'll bid this Mexican.

Agreed bro. Man up and Punish her.

^^Old FML references. Win. :)

My bid: 10$, half a pack of cigs, and my sister. And if any accessories come with said product I'll add a few cases of beer to the equation.

TheBitchOfChuckN 7

30, and I don't laugh.

19 - I'll be your slave for those two! Also, I bid FML.

LolMoqz 10

What is this? "The Price is Right"?

2ndSucks 15

I bid 40$ and my dog. She'll be forever loyal (;

$19.9 an hour, my house is a mess!

I bid the dog in my house that just won't die. seriously. he is like 16, got hit by a car, and still lives..

$20! Damn son I'd do anything for that! Want a ********?

100- Number 9 said the exact same thing, which was who I replied to earlier, and got modded. Godspeed

Damn that was quick...

Your dog has one hell of a guardian angel watching over him. Or he's one tough mofo. That's a dog Chuck Norris needs XD

Sold! To the guy that offered 1000$!

14 the point of bidding is you're supposed to bid higher than the last guy...

120, its not over yet !! I bid my blastoise, mudkipz, and a box juicy juice! some people gots to catch em all!

I'll bid 1 dog 2 pistols my gf $1001 and a semi-truck full of beer

Unlimited fried or grilled chicken for two years. And the resurrection stone because 19 didn't say it.

skizzlerz 0

I'm not even thumbing this because it has 69 thumbs up :D lmao thumbs up this comment if you noticed the extra innuendo (even besides the 69) in the first part the first time you read it xD

AaronTkr 0

#40- it's cute.

IWarnedYou 0


I'll bid a penny. Not just any penny, a penny with Abraham Lincoln's face on it.

I'll call your whatever and raise you 12 cheeseburgers.

juicedboi 7

I will bid myself. But I may not be of equal value so I'll throw in a tamagochi!

does it come with dolphin?

-171 I bid your soul along with my 20$

Sing the song "I'm Yours" untils she passionately kisses you :D

I bid infinity and beyond (plus my previous bid).

174 my soul is worth a lot, but you'll have to consult Satan cuz i recently traded it to him for a baconator. also. I bid chuck norris' first pubic hair

-182 I bid proof aliens exist, Jesus Of Nazareth's pet crocodile, Rush Limbaugh's Chinese slave, and my mothers first born child. His name? Bigfoot.

....I wouldn't bid THAT much maybe give him the... nope I wouldn't bid those things.

-195 You sir have no sense of adventure. Also dolphincheddar. I negotiated with Satan your soul is mine all for the price of my 20 fellow cultists souls!

I bid my lucky leotard, my chia pet, 12 tacos, and my collection of Chuckie Cheese tokens.

I bid seasons 1-8 of Walker Texas Ranger.

alright I gotta top all these bids so my offer is: 40 Lamborghini's 30 mansions 20 space stations 10 countries 9 nuclear warheads 8 tine machines, top 7 deadliest assassins, 6 geniuses, 5 moons, 4 effiel towers (yes there's more then one in the world, 3 fairy godparents, 2 oceans, and a patrich on a pear tre...i mean, the tahj mahal(spelling), whitehouse, the president of USA, the friggen great wall of china, and a shiny penny. I am ready to claim my item now.

-219 I counter this by bidding my pet monkey that rides a unicycle.

I bid my dog! If you put peanut butter on yourself he will lick you anywhere. .... Anywhere!

I bid an original biker mice from mars action figure, a lecherous new guinea Pygmy, and the gross national product of north Korea after Kim Jong il takes his annual salary. and a single tear from Scarlett Johanson.

I think I still remember my Neopets account, SO, I will bid that. it is to be noted that I also had the best neopets evar...

*steals pet monkey on unicycle & adds to list* NOW WHAT?

-225 Kills you. Steals everything. I'm winning!

Jownz345 3

YDI for having legs

kaykay9080 5

I bid my small b0obs~

236 Have some decency, your 14.

Jownz345 3

we have some pedophials in here ø.ø

I would bid Chuck Norris, but he already bid me...

I bid Osamas body, half of China and a dirty sock.

Wow, this guy must feel wanted. Well, I bid: *Ahem* hold on, gotta read through this list..... no..... no not that one...... what is this doing on this list..... no..... THAT ONE. I bid: Something of equal value to the distance between the sun, and the black hole in the middle of the milky way. when you find something to top that, tell me. I have a penny up my sleeve!

Wow, this guy must feel wanted. Well, I bid: *Ahem* hold on, gotta read through this list..... no..... no not that one...... what is this doing on this list..... no..... THAT ONE. I bid: Something of equal value to the distance between the sun, and the black hole in the middle of the milky way. when you find something to top that, tell me. I have a penny up my sleeve!

God dammit double post :C. I never thought it would happen to me :C, but I thought that bout aids also....

LolMoqz 10

Oh yeah, I offer my "The Young and the Restless" complete series DVD.

Soviet Russia bids me

saaaalt 4

I'll just make one of my milkshakes, that'll have him running to the yard ;)

Taurusbaybe 8

That was so entertaining to read! Keep 'em bids coming!

-257 I bid your mom!

Lol amazing refrence.

StopDropNRoll 11

If I ask politely can I have him for free?

#14 got burned by #123

#168 Gouda or no deal

omg tht made my day

I know I'm late but.. I bid my nipples, and a never-ending supply of bjs and sammiches.

gmc_blossom 21

I'll give you one of the Horcruxes it takes to kill me. 0-0

ill accept that

your dog must be IMMORTAL D:

I'd place a bid, but I'm terribly afraid of realtors.

I'd place a bid, but I'm terribly afraid of realtors.

AgentCobra 5

ah, I see what you did there! :)

damatix 3

stfu n gtfo u ruined it

my bid: whatever underwear im wearing, justin beibers virginity and as many beers that itll take in order to get his virginity while wearing that very large sombrero

hell noo. mines better than yours;)

I bid: the worlds largest cupcake (Chocolate), the worlds largest rubber duck, and Mad-Eye Moody (Who didn't die, he just fell through the roof of my house, landed in my jello and currently resides in my basement)

ashl3ym0n3t 4

idk what op means. is that bad?

i bid... wait what are we bidding for again?

i bid a lifetime supply of cheezits, the Milky Way Galaxy, Jupiter, Argentenia, 20 MILFs, God himself (thats right, God is your slave. he'll do anything you want!), my original and still working Frogger Atari cartridge, the phone im using to type this on, my sister, France, this wonderful dead cricket i found in my pocket along with my pocket lint, my entire collection of pokemon trading cards, and my other car.

The Elder Wand is broken, blasphemy.

10lolo 4

i bid my lesbian ex girlfriend

gomie 0

I like her sense of humour

Since when did the convention become to put the dollar sign AFTER the figure? *shakes head*

yenze 18

why is everyone wanting to buy Op?

poorjudgement 26

Beacuse his gf put him on sale, after telling him she wants to be "just friends", so ppl tried to chear him up. (and maybe even really buy him :p)

Sir, I believe you are third. :)

futtbuck101 1

You should write "for rent" on her

Well, how much are you going for?

I'll give her $20 and half a case of beer ;P

StopDropNRoll 11

bids start on #1 ^

At least you're worth a rice :p at least you werent for free.

Ruthless business woman.

You've gotta love her creative idea, though.

itsgen 16

this is a stupid fml really wow she drew on ur leg for sale -.-

Somebody call the waambulance.

thelegitlady 0

and let the bidding begin!

beastlybeauty 4

Do I hear a one dollar? one dollar anyone? No?

Maybe someone better will buy you?

a_nutritionist 10

overly clingy male who reads into everything looking for new home. i dont see it selling.

She's the one who wrote that he was her "property". It sounds like she's just playing with his head.

that's what you get when you known she just wanted to stay in the friend zone

KatrinaKitten 16

Yeah. OP even referred to his ex as just his "girlfriend"...Why would he do that? I really loathe guys who won't get it through their head that they're done with in terms of relationships, and ANY attempts, with any amount of kind intent, will only end with another rejection. Sure, sometimes you can win someone back, but there IS a reason why they broke ties in the first place.

^ Bitch alert. -.-

KatrinaKitten 16

Because voicing an opinion is being a bitch.

68 - Sometimes it can be. I'm not saying I think you're a bitch though.

KatrinaKitten 16

68- You're right.

xk75 4

61: delusional manipulative clinger alert, much like the OP.

johnson94 5

^ meow

36- the person would still be OPs friend, and would still be female, therefore would still be his girl friend. Maybe OP simply forgot the space?

KatrinaKitten 16

176, I cannot believe your utter idiocy! It's obviously implied in the FML that OP feels that the girl is still his's ridiculous to assume that he refers to a friend that's a girl as a girlfriend when he aims to "win her back." Now, unless you aren't producing blatantly and absolutely childish assumptions, don't bother to comment any further and save me the frustration.

KattAlex 4

Well, it didn't say how long they were broken up. If it was only a day or two he might still be in the habit of calling her his girlfriend. Though, he still wants her back, so, you could definitely be right about him not being able to get over the fact that their relationship ended.

this whole stupid argument should never have occurred.

shamisthomas 0

I agree friends zone is never a good place