Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
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Top comments
Iamnotmyself 17
I bid 20$
JiggaJayZ 16
I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.
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Comments (338)
elizabeth9m 4
owned .
JiggaJayZ 16
Bro everyone drinks underage. Just grab a bottle of Jack's and clear your mind. You'll be in for a hell of a night.
donnie111 12
it's funny how they always want to be "just friends" after they rip your guts out
8sq 13
are you on eBay yet ?????
FMLsOhilarious 6
lol I'm sorry, I find this funny.
atkehre 0
hahhahahahahahahahah
bananabuttercup 8
waitwaitwait. she wants to be just friends? why did you call her your girlfriend? dude, you've got it baaaaad.
bingolittle 0
sounds like you have an awful girlfriend
a_nutritionist 10
they dont have a girlfriend. and if you think someone wanting to move on and not tolerating being manipulated back into a relationship they dont want is 'awful' then THANK GOD. someone needs to take all the crazy bitches off the street. please, have them all.
mikaylajarvis 0
I would hate that! I'm sorry;( the days go on nomatter how tough they are! but it sucks it has to happen like that:,(
smartness 6
She picked a heck of a way to end your relationship....but then again...you already knew that she's just not that into you....