By Anonymous - 05/01/2014 01:08 - United States - Chicago

Spicy
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks 66 273
You deserved it 7 011
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Top comments

EternalRest 5

At least you know she was looking forward to having sex with you?

461 4

Comments

712sash 26

Does matter, didn't have birthday sex.

352 17
caohm 18

if she's that sad over not getting birthday sex you must be doing something right.

276 1
kjack49044 18

Yes, she's got her priorities straight.

11 35
Meaniebobeanie 26

A period never stopped anything but a sentence.

8 91
Jabberwockyy 13

#109 that was already said just a couple of comments ago, try to be more original.

44 9
Cadillac4427 8

#109 you are several comments too late dear.....

4 1
mangoboy1 19

Or just use the back door if they're into that...

6 0
umchayul 4

You can still have sex. I'm sure she'll give the best devil's wings

185 13
zandalee 19

Be happy OP! Your girlfriend genuinely loves sex!! :-)

88 7
Fuaaad1994 31

#42 people who don't like having sex, obviously.

77 6
hansam 12

When the river runs red, take the dirt road

41 68
little_one1 14

Oh HELL no, 54! I'mjustkiddingmyboyfriendandiareexperienceddirtroadtravelers.

4 39
Rainhawk94 27

#61 i should punch you after reading your comment

44 1
vipirius 18

Damn it, now I really wanna know what 61 said.

74 1
TheLittleBear 19

Don't worry #121, you're better off not knowing.

15 2
EternalRest 5

At least you know she was looking forward to having sex with you?

461 4
boating_guy 33

if they really want it, just ride the crimson ride. alternatively, if the river runs red, take the dirt road home.

11 30
arandomusernameaa 20

If you don't wanna become a mum take it up the bum?

6 12
davidislost 11

That would have been more humorous if you used a pop cultural reference like 'doesn't matter, had sex'

5 32
Apeirophobe 13

In my opinion such clichés don't add to the comic value.

6 0
Rxted 8

Nothing's wrong with birthday ********.

fk18 27

Why would she give him a bj for HER birthday?

154 6
iAlissa 34

"Happy birthday babe! It's okay, you can still give me a *******!" Whoopdeedoo.

133 2
ElricMustang 23

I mean, some girls enjoy it, too, so it really isn't something selfish for OP if she wants to do it.

15 75
happyfingers 15

By the sounds of it, she probably doesnt.

37 7
SweetasCandy0609 28

#26 considering it's her birthday not OP'S yes it is not to mention since she just started her period her emotions are probably a bit high right now so if he brought it up to her it would make her even more upset.

26 4
anabanana6994 4

Some people enjoy giving head

1 4
deepvira 16

Tell her that you are gonna get sex,just not from her! It's your birthday after all!

abhi95 31

Are you like dumb or something? Read the FML!

123 5
iAlissa 34

12, either you're a high-strung jerk, or you're illiterate. Can't decide.

88 5
fullalove 23

1.it clearly says he takes his girlfriend out for HER birthday. 2. even if it was his birthday, what the hell kind of advice is it to tell him to cheat?

56 5
emirie 21

12, your comment was so bad i tried to thumb you down more than once. All girls should avoid you.

65 3
DropTheDaggerxx 31

Not even just all girls. All people should avoid you. Grow up.

16 2
thelittleghost 3

At least she enjoys sex with you and just wait you can have belated birthday sex ;3

72 2
BFons 19

So why can't you have sex? Might be a little messy, but hell do it in the shower.

138 6
happle 21

I don't know about other girls, but paired with bloating and cramps, I don't want a penis anywhere near me when I'm on my period.

41 6
kaytasha 18

Yep that definitely works, especially when feeling are involved, it is a deep intimate moment though not for persons with a blood phobia

6 4
Korra_fml 23

actually, sex can help to alleviate cramping.

26 5
Squeaky_Tomato 14

I actually get more horny on my period. I vote for the shower or put a towel you don't care about between her and the bed :)

29 1
LowExpectations 30

My girlfriend's period goes much better if we have sex during that time. OP, do what needs to be done and end her birthday on a high note.

19 1
TheNewGuy03 28

116 -- Whenever I've had sex with a girl on her period, I've always laid out a convenient red towel. Banging while on her period isn't preferable to me, but I'd rather please her. Not really too worried about myself, as long as she's satisfied.

14 0