Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
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Top comments
Iamnotmyself 17
I bid 20$
JiggaJayZ 16
I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.
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Comments (338)
butter5646_fml 0
awww
lovinit5683 0
Haha, I want to know what happened next.
dreamering 16
King Kong walks in and takes the girl.
MissSwiss_27 0
haha she recoverd well. sorry chump
codysz28_fml 5
I'd message you but not sure how, im new to this could you help out please?
HannahForbesxo 13
*facepalm*. Check the site's FAQ. The mailing part is in a small box on the right hand side of the page, you can't miss it.. There, good deed done for the week, now I can go back to being a sarcastic bitch.
freakometer_fml 0
Lmfao im using that
coldsteele152 1
my ex said the same when we broke up and wtf just want to be friends
JnJNick 0
Damn, grow a pair of balls. There is a difference between being sweet & nice and just being a pushover. Show some pride, man.
emodude44 0
What the hell is Op supposed to do? say "Oh, we're not breaking up bitch!" Thats called being a whiny idiot. Accept it, if she says its over, and he can't change her mind, its over.
freakometer_fml 1
lmfao i"m soooooo going to use this one day ;)
Klug_fml 7
A used-boyfriend should be cheaper than a new one.
nlr 9
depends on his personality...
kweaver310 0
whipped