Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
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Top comments
Iamnotmyself 17
I bid 20$
JiggaJayZ 16
I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.
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Comments (338)
ilovedemexicans 3
oh damn that sucks. I'd cry lol
shift_love 13
yea that's ******* sad. I'd want to ask her to leave. but given his obvious heartbroken condition he wouldn't ask her to leave. biscuits cycle. women are pretty damn evil.
ashleyylove3 22
I'd cry if my username was "ilovedemexicans" too.
jaff23 11
Time to move on buddy
KatrinaKitten 16
Feeling's gone.
Wakepro21 0
you look cute with the darker hair:)
KatrinaKitten 16
Er..okay? Thanks?
KatrinaKitten 16
Sorry, didn't mean to sound bitchy. It's just, I don't really know you. You could message me if you really want me to reply..but not here..
codysz28_fml 5
I'd message you but not sure how, could you help me out?
Anthony8449 2
Hey do you play volley ball? : )
KatrinaKitten 16
/facepalm/
LolMoqz 10
what makes you say that?
icecreammintz 0
PEDO ALERT /
Anthony8449 2
sorry but my sister has a volly ball game trmmrow and I'd like to giver some pointers
KatrinaKitten 16
90, Yeah, I couldn't give your sister any more pointers than Yahoo Answers could. I only play for the school team! Give me a break!! JUST KIDDING! If you need pointers, message me...I SERIOUSLY don't need to have a conversation here. FML IS NOT a chatroom.
KatrinaKitten 16
Thank you moderators for clearing up the borderline weird replies....
JiggaJayZ 16
Curse you moderators for clearing them before I could see them and maybe get a lol.. :(
Danny0D 5
yo wats up
J1hill33 12
25 changed her pic
namhowell 6
how old r u guys? Kinda cute actually lol. Something to talk about when reunion comes.
WhatWhatInTheBut_fml 5
take the pen from her and stab her in the leg
bettyc4 26
I rather buy park place XD
Freeze_fml 17
Don't take that shit. She put you in the friend zone. The only way to escape now is to kick her out and tell her to get new friends.
helene123456789 0
i bid 1cent
baseballlegitly0 2
do i hear 20 25 30
wolfsheart 14
aww... I'll take you!! not if the price is over $10 though... lol