Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
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Top comments
Iamnotmyself 17
I bid 20$
JiggaJayZ 16
I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.
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Comments (338)
Jollymanroper 1
Dude get rid of her
jackrileymac 4
Emily is a fat girl name anyways
gcox_fml 0
F$@& you my girlfriends name is Emily you @$$ your just jelouse you don't have a gf or in your case bf so shut up you @$$ clown
JiggaJayZ 16
I know some fat ugly Emilys and another Emily that might be the hottest girl I know
a_nutritionist 10
naww look at lil gcox go, defending his girlfriend with censorship and aggression online. poor bastard has never heard of sarcasm. or tact. or the dictionary.
JesterMarcus 0
If you have to "win her over", ie convince her you are worth dating, she isn't worth it. She obviously isn't into you enough to like you for who you are. Winning somebody over is no different than putting on a front to impress them. What do you think happens when you stop putting that front up?
vi3tno_romeo 5
lol kind of a cheeky way to decline...
kinzie01 2
haha thats great!(:
maddie2015 0
she seems confused.
bigbadtim 7
You need to remind her that you're some fine real-estate.
aw3som3sauc3 10
she put you in the friend zone, put her in the rape zone! nah man jk but that really sucks
Calyx_fml 22
She was marking her territory... Literally. You're her bitch and you're not even getting any. Don't be "just friends" with her. Break it off explicitly. You're done.
sweet_candy_ 17
Awww that's sooo cute. Any girl would be lucky to have you. It's her loss. Just don't be desperate
a_nutritionist 10
and what if hes a 68 year old overweight hairy paedophile with a fetish for domination and beats his partner? is anyone still lucky to have him? or do you think itd be wiser not to jump to conclusions about a persons character from reading 3 sentence story...