Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML
Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML
Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Today, I was having lunch with a friend when I went on a rant about how much I really dislike my boss, ranting about all his annoying habits. After a long tirade, my friend looked at me awkwardly and said, "You do realize he's my uncle, right?" FML
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
Today, my sister’s son, who adores me, started calling me, “my funny uncle.” I was later informed this is also a euphemism for an uncle who molested you. I didn't know, and now he won’t stop saying it. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
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Top comments
shippingboat 8
That's equal parts disgusting and terrifying.
Axelerate 23
You definitely want to follow the buddy system when you're around him
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Comments (168)
shippingboat 8
That's equal parts disgusting and terrifying.
NeatNit 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
compliments can come in all shapes and forms.
ForSaleBabyShoes 2
That's what uncles are for silly!
fuckedPriceless 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
as long as he didn't act on it, I'd take it as a compliment. :)
LlamaFlavoured 24
i'm concerned about all three of you ^
SweetasCandy0609 28
well that's really disturbing if you guys really think OP should take that as a compliment, and the fact that he even says this out loud to his friends is even more creepy.
fuckedPriceless 17
you can't condemn a person for their thoughts, only their actions.
classicsparkles 17
@114, actions like, telling your friends you would **** your niece senseless while she is within earshot?
Aimeejasmine 15
#114 ready to defend some incestuous man they don't even know
ughvictoriaxd 12
Right...
wtffml1979 22
#100 I agree 100% Actually #114 has some issues. Not just on this fml but a few others. Needs for psych exam.
TiddlesWiddles 15
Its even weirder if OP is a boy.
iamaweaome 12
i completely agree #1 that is messed the **** up.
lemonypops 10
That's really messed up...
gogo44444 28
But at the same time, it's a compliment
TheGolfGTI 24
#73 No. It isn't.
classicsparkles 17
dude, 73, if you think your uncle wanting to **** you is a compliment, you might need your head checked.
SauceySarah 30
That is disgusting. Why would a family member ever say that?
boating_guy 33
Only maybe a family member who's related by marriage, not blood (I sincerely hope)
priyaaaa124 22
I agree with #3, something has to be wrong with that man to say that let alone think it. Which he obviously did. There will be people commenting on this FML saying "take it as flattery." Please don't.
MrConcise 35
That's not the only thing senseless in this conversation.
theTravinator 21
Op should probably get her dad to beat him senseless
Axelerate 23
You definitely want to follow the buddy system when you're around him
Daelynn_17 19
and avoid any family dinners at his place
jojimugo 20
Am guessing alcohol was involved and of course immaturity and creepiness
TuneSyon 7
why so many dislikes to this comment? I agree with it.
Roxas_hearts 27
Yeah, why exactly is 6 being disliked? It's a comment with common sense.
Dick_diamond 22
Incest isn't just about actions. The thoughts are gross and scary, too. FYL
buckdharma 38
Good thing he's not a brother from another mother.
AnOriginalName 19
No, he's a brother of her mother.
Salvanoi 23
Or father
swanheart 35
What does this even mean?
EmoFluffy 16
That's disgusting...
Jennandco 25
Might want to keep your distance from now on, OP