Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML
Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML
Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Today, I was having lunch with a friend when I went on a rant about how much I really dislike my boss, ranting about all his annoying habits. After a long tirade, my friend looked at me awkwardly and said, "You do realize he's my uncle, right?" FML
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
Today, my sister’s son, who adores me, started calling me, “my funny uncle.” I was later informed this is also a euphemism for an uncle who molested you. I didn't know, and now he won’t stop saying it. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
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Top comments
shippingboat 8
That's equal parts disgusting and terrifying.
Axelerate 23
You definitely want to follow the buddy system when you're around him
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Comments (168)
pjsr 33
I hate when people just say 'Ewww!', but the perfect response to this FML is simply 'Ewww!'
warsun 27
What?
LauraCoxyCox 9
Well, they are from Ireland...
Girlshotdown1 21
whats that suppose to mean?
TommyG493 11
That they are from Ireland
Kazze 31
When I think of Irish people, I think of leprechauns, St. Patrick's day and beer, not incest. What?
prostar9993 15
St. Patrick wasn't from Ireland
fancy_98 19
#32 no one said he was, but he is the patron saint and national apostle of Ireland and that is why when people think of Ireland they think of St Patrick's day, a day very much celebrated by the Irish.
ToxicTyrael 26
I thought the rumors were that they do their cattle, not their familymembers...
Georgia0p 17
#51 that's what they say about the Welsh !
ontheFLY4 25
St. Patrick was Italian, what a farce of a holiday.
swanheart 35
Apologise #53! The welsh are supposed to do their sheep not their cattle! :)
BrotherPhil 35
That #13 is being racist.
ZombieSazza 34
#51 that's the Welsh and us Scots who like our sheep.
meisan 12
thats gross, sorry op! if he does sonething make sure to let someone know.
chuka81 27
Nothing like a little incestuous joke to spice up family affairs.
bleedingglitter 24
Oh so you actually have a creepy uncle. No fun.
Miss_Whipped 43
It's really not fun at all, I can tell you that much.
BaDumTsss_fml 23
That's ****** up, senseless.
wickedhyype 17
I think everyone has that weird uncle. Fyl
stuner56 22
Maybe everyone has A weird uncle, not THAT weird uncle..
Algorithm 24
I'm now concerned about what kind of uncles you have.
dakotaabriannee 14
That's disgusting.
Girlshotdown1 21
i think its wrong on how people actually said that she deserved that.....
cottoncandymango 17
lock your doors and get out while you can!