Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML
Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML
Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Today, I was having lunch with a friend when I went on a rant about how much I really dislike my boss, ranting about all his annoying habits. After a long tirade, my friend looked at me awkwardly and said, "You do realize he's my uncle, right?" FML
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
Today, my sister’s son, who adores me, started calling me, “my funny uncle.” I was later informed this is also a euphemism for an uncle who molested you. I didn't know, and now he won’t stop saying it. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
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Top comments
shippingboat 8
That's equal parts disgusting and terrifying.
Axelerate 23
You definitely want to follow the buddy system when you're around him
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Comments (168)
VeganDarkLight 31
How come everybody tells OP to stay away from him? Just because he finds her attractive doesn't mean he is a rapist! Yes, his wording was definitely uncalled for and I also would feel weird if my uncle had fantasies of sex with me, but it doesn't mean he will/would do anything to fulfill them. I'd probably try not to be around him because I'd feel uncomfortable, but not because I'd be afraid he'd rape me.
Algorithm 24
Frankly, 72, I wouldn't want to take the risk.
AshGolfer10 9
um.....ew stay away ftom him
Kramer1998 20
Isn't that a good thing?
Mackenzie_Leigh 9
You think it's a good thing for her uncle to want to have sex with her? It's wrong and disgusting and the furtherest thing from being 'good'
Weiss_Schnee 14
You should incest that this sort of behaviour stops.
kakabloom 9
Well, you should tell your parents one at a time because this should bother you. I suggest telling the parent that isn't related to the uncle first since the related parent may defend his/her brother. Just remember! Always put on more clothes when he's around!
igotds 16
Ummmm that's a bit creepy
writerchic85 26
What is it with creepy uncles?
cappellaaa 23
Okay so maybe stay away from your creepy uncle? got it? good haha
SystemofaBlink41 27
Don't get me wrong, what the uncle said is disgusting beyond belief and just the thought of it makes me cringe. But this doesn't mean he's a rapist! A gross asshole, yes, but you're all slapping that label on him pretty quickly.
joelp232 17
everyone has that creepy uncle apparently