Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML
Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML
Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Today, I was having lunch with a friend when I went on a rant about how much I really dislike my boss, ranting about all his annoying habits. After a long tirade, my friend looked at me awkwardly and said, "You do realize he's my uncle, right?" FML
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
Today, my sister’s son, who adores me, started calling me, “my funny uncle.” I was later informed this is also a euphemism for an uncle who molested you. I didn't know, and now he won’t stop saying it. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
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Top comments
shippingboat 8
That's equal parts disgusting and terrifying.
Axelerate 23
You definitely want to follow the buddy system when you're around him
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Comments (168)
ec03 4
I feel bad for you. Your uncle is a not a good role model and try to stay away from him especially while he's drinking
TheBelt 19
Eww, I'm sorry O.P mabey you should sit down and have a talk with explaining that is it very wrong to say such things.
Tom925 8
Well at least he recognizes that you're related and won't do anything for that reason.
bm0822 2
that is so disturbing. ...
sonnyrosa 32
Well, they say everyone has that creepy uncle... looks like you found yours... and it's best to keep your distance... I might call for back up. Saying that, even if it's to your buddies (drunk or not), is not okay. It needs to be dealt with. For your safety. It's creepy.
foxysunshine 12
At least he has enough sense to not go for it because he knows you're related.... anyways yuck... fyl
chocolatefrog28 29
At least you aren't in a part of the country where being related wouldn't stop him from acting on it?
ApplePie1994 27
incest is frowned upon in every corner of this country.
newyorkcityguy 9
Incest(and even **********) are legal in some states. That's what his point was.
ApplePie1994 27
Not in Ireland.
nutella4life 14
that made me nautious
Laylette 21
At least you're pretty?? But seriously, that shit is ******.
mrkfrish 5
Lol I swear there's one of those in every family.