Intimacy: Inappropriate - FML

Inappropriate

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 19:39 - Ireland - Mountmellick

Spicy

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 630

You deserved it 3 252

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Same thing different taste

By PrettyScared - 29/07/2013 15:07 - United States - Matthews

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 604

You deserved it 6 049

By charlieg9 - 30/08/2013 12:33 - United States - East Meadow

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 267

You deserved it 15 858

By Anonymous - 08/11/2015 06:15 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 2 113

By Oops - 04/07/2014 17:35 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 959

You deserved it 43 572

With military bearing

By Pin Chi - 20/02/2022 14:00

Today, my sister’s son, who adores me, started calling me, “my funny uncle.” I was later informed this is also a euphemism for an uncle who molested you. I didn't know, and now he won’t stop saying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 71

Great conversation starter

By balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 472

You deserved it 3 728

The long game

By Not this again.... - 26/09/2023 10:00 - United States - Staten Island

Spicy

Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 573

You deserved it 21 138

Or does he?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 00:30

Today, I read a message from someone on Instagram asking if I wanted to "hook up with a nice guy sometime." It was my uncle – he doesn't recognize his own family before messaging them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 61

Just a movie

By IzzMeister - 15/12/2019 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 018

You deserved it 195

Next

Top comments

shippingboat 8

Saturday 25 April 2015 8:58

That's equal parts disgusting and terrifying.

Axelerate 23

Saturday 25 April 2015 9:00

You definitely want to follow the buddy system when you're around him

Comments

so_this_is_me 24

Monday 27 April 2015 23:04

That is very disturbing and wrong. Definitely FYL.

Si123 33

Monday 27 April 2015 23:28

That is really creepy and weird.

toxicdeath 7

Tuesday 28 April 2015 16:31

ohahahah that's hilarious and gross and messed up XD

chickenshit6 3

Tuesday 28 April 2015 17:42

That's just scary ?

SasquatchDeluxe 10

Wednesday 29 April 2015 5:32

Ewwwwww…!

Kejus 13

Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:51

GET TO DA CHOPPA, RAAA.

qlortin_fml 7

Thursday 30 April 2015 10:44

Why are people losing their mind here? I read the fml again a couple of time, just to be sure... But the guy actually said "if we weren't related". So, it's a fantasy about a guy and a girl who aren't related. How the f*ck is that incest?

bolingea 9

Thursday 7 May 2015 7:02

Maybe you should have a few drinks and give him a sexy surprise, you might enjoy it more than you think.

fanta_zero 1

Saturday 30 May 2015 0:09

You sicko that uncle is horrid for saying that and you want her/him to give him a "sexy surprise" that is the most sickening thing I've ever heard

uchihastephy88 25

Tuesday 19 May 2015 8:26

D:

smarti1809 12

Friday 22 May 2015 4:38

what the actual hell?

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The Top

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 140

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 98

The Top

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 2 916

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 381

You deserved it 6 118

Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 358

You deserved it 3 113

Today, my ex-husband got married to my daughter. She’s 18, a high school dropout, and pregnant with his child. She strongly believes she’ll have a bright future with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 139

Today, I found out that the guy I met off of Bumble, and have been seeing for the past few weeks, went to jail in 2020 for kidnapping a girl he met off Tinder. I would've be on a date with him right now had I not decided to Google him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 165

Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 213

You deserved it 9 159