Work

By Anonymous - 21/05/2015 20:41 - United States

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 059

You deserved it 3 266

By SFBEL - 21/05/2015 03:56 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 710

You deserved it 2 147

By stilljobless - 21/05/2015 02:49 - United States - Willimantic

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 566

You deserved it 2 183

By farf - 20/05/2015 18:47

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 276

You deserved it 2 045

Bad tipper, good shitter

By kmctl - 20/05/2015 18:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 039

You deserved it 2 016

By Anonymous - 20/05/2015 16:17 - Cyprus - Paphos

Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 863

You deserved it 2 278

By boss_daughter - 20/05/2015 12:03 - United States

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 583

You deserved it 14 270

By lily_marleen - 17/05/2015 21:27 - Germany - Emskirchen

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 005

You deserved it 2 130

By smellynelly - 17/05/2015 16:13 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 869

You deserved it 11 415

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 20:58 - United States - Evanston

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 137

You deserved it 2 393

Beep beep

By iamgodzilla - 14/05/2015 02:55 - United States - Owings Mills

Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 687

You deserved it 2 193

By joddledoddle - 13/05/2015 19:18 - United Kingdom - Mitcham

Today, whilst visiting an unfamiliar office site for work, I was conversing with my boss about the possibility of considering myself for a managing position in the future. I then unintentionally followed him to the bathroom whilst walking and texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 595

You deserved it 7 990

joddledoddle tells us more.

joddledoddle 10

Thursday 14 May 2015 11:20

OP here, Just to clear things up. We were visiting an office site and it was at lunch I discussed the possibility of a promotion. Then, when it was time to leave the office site, I had to follow him out a series of doors and corridors to get to the parking lot. He had asked me to text my collegue to let the home office know that we were coming back and as he turned left through a door, I unintentionally went to follow him. Fortunately I looked up and noticed the puzzled look on his face and the sign on the door above my hand before I actually entered the bathroom.

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 03:19 - United States - Seattle

Today, a while after finishing and uploading a task, I looked at my peers' work to make sure I hadn't missed anything in mine. One of them had gotten the same idea and had decided to incorporate part of my work into his. "Part" as in "all". "All" as in all of his work is also all of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 434

You deserved it 2 525

By spitt - 13/05/2015 02:11 - United States - Franklin

Today, after a big presentation, people sent an open invitation to dinner. When I asked which restaurant and what time, I was told that I wasn't invited. I've been here for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 504

You deserved it 2 503

By Basically_ - 11/05/2015 21:24 - United States - Charleroi

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 910

You deserved it 4 708

Basically_ tells us more.

Basically_ 6

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:52

OP here! Maybe I should have specified that the medication causes mild confusion, as in, maybe I forget where a specific resident keeps their towels. Alzheimer's residents can get very upset if everything is not done in a specific way. I would never go to work if I thought I could not do my job!

By Becky - 11/05/2015 20:54 - United Kingdom - Dorchester

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 937

You deserved it 2 389

By pissed - 10/05/2015 14:34 - United States - Dearborn

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 857

You deserved it 8 045

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated two years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 2 347

By pop, pop - 08/05/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 019

You deserved it 7 756

By CASH_NoMOMEY - 07/05/2015 05:12 - United States - Windsor

Today, my main source of income is finding money on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 613

You deserved it 5 609

By Freelman - 06/05/2015 14:34 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I tried to write a bad review for the fast-food place at which I work part-time. My username made me anonymous, but I forgot to change my profile picture. Now my manager and coworkers won't even speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 225

You deserved it 44 431

How very dare you?

By GotGasNotLuck - 05/05/2015 10:50 - Australia - Girraween

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 449

You deserved it 2 253

By Jobless in Seattle - 05/05/2015 02:08 - United States - Katy

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 602

You deserved it 30 509

By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 05:58 - Finland

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 5 068

By Jbheller - 03/05/2015 00:08 - United States - Mountain Top

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 377

You deserved it 3 129

By tumblrinas_at_work - 02/05/2015 08:04 - United States - Woodland Hills

Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 816

You deserved it 2 992

By RavingLunatic - 01/05/2015 22:17 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 295

You deserved it 24 825

By PharmSlave - 01/05/2015 06:12 - United States - Marysville

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 060

You deserved it 2 599

By nerderer - 30/04/2015 18:48 - United States - Duluth

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 861

You deserved it 6 848

Asshole

By Anonymous - 30/04/2015 17:33 - United Kingdom - Limavady

Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 750

You deserved it 2 893

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The Top

The Top

Today, I was at an amusement park with friends. We wanted to get a picture of all four of us, so we asked a nice-looking man to take it for us on my brand-new iPhone 6s. He took something. Unfortunately, it wasn't a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 278

You deserved it 7 565

Today, I work in aircraft ground handling. My employer is short-staffed and told us to stop even trying to load people’s luggage onto the plane with them, and to just throw it on a huge heap in the basement and sort it all out in a few months when things are less busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 96

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 679

You deserved it 5 485

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 672

You deserved it 32 811

Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 913

You deserved it 2 839

Today, I fell asleep on the bus after a long day. I woke up to the driver nudging me, saying, "End of the line, mate." I had no idea where I was, and it was raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 143