Love: Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out...

Wow, I didn't think I would get published. Let me clear some things up:) -My boyfriend and my brother-in-law are best friends and bought onesies together. They have been wearing them all night and day. They are a bit crazy, but fun. -My boy works outside in snow, so that's why he wore it to work. -It's also below zero where I live so it's cold at night, hence the bed wearing. -The sex however... Well, there is basically a slit in the back and buttons in the front. He thought it was hilarious, but it won't be happening again. I guess it's just something that he wanted to try and I love him so I did it. Oh, and it doesn't smell.. Yet. ;)

Love

Walk on the wild side

Dementia or hate? You decide

Happy Birthday

20/01/2010 18:21

Today, I decided to treat my yeast infection over the counter to avoid going to the doctor. Too bad I didn't read the directions. Now I have to go to the doctor to get the tip of the applicator removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 734

You deserved it 38 858

03/10/2010 09:35

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 582

You deserved it 3 398

28/07/2019 20:00

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 033

You deserved it 139

14/09/2018 22:00

Today, we're taking the plane home from Dublin after a school trip that I only barely got onto after troubles with my passport. Luckily for me, a kind person has decided to save me from the passport this evening - together with the rest of my wallet. I'm stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 588

You deserved it 216

29/05/2019 14:00

Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 248

Delirious fever days are the BEST!

By Sheila Deville - 24/10/2019 02:00

Today, it's day 5 of being out of my mind with a fever. I actually uttered the words, "Spit is a lubricant, not a frictioncant or gripperorator." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 190

26/06/2014 04:03

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 499

You deserved it 5 203

Stop talking!

By Lunar-Spice - 23/06/2021 00:01

Today, I found out that my great-grandmother was a cougar, seducing men who were barely older than I am now. I did not need to know this information. Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 166

26/05/2013 20:50

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 129

You deserved it 18 291

30/04/2017 02:00

Today, my elderly neighbor came crying to me about the horrible thing someone had done outside. I hurried out to find a big pile of dog shit with the head of Donald Trump stuck into it. I had to fake a coughing fit so she wouldn't realize I was laughing. I'm not sure I got away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 869

You deserved it 819

16/03/2009 03:38

Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML

I agree, your life sucks 216 788

You deserved it 30 292

22/12/2016 12:21

Today, I eagerly applied for a high-salary, fully supportive graduate program that I qualified for. There were 5 steps in the application process. I was turned down after the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 723

You deserved it 864

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 416

You deserved it 3 771

13/04/2013 15:52

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 254

You deserved it 44 299

14/04/2016 23:24

Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 933

You deserved it 25 316

16/05/2017 12:00

Today, I found out that it is possible for someone else to cancel my Internet, TV and phone services in two days. However it'll take me 5 days, after 6 hours on the phone, to get it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 347

You deserved it 250

16/05/2009 17:34

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 363

You deserved it 3 625

11/04/2011 09:39

Today, my phone wasn't working properly. After sending out 40 texts and getting no replies, I decided to test my phone by sending it a text from my old phone. The text came through straight away. Turns out my phone's working perfectly and 40 people are just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 439

You deserved it 12 199

24/06/2009 06:44

Today, I got an invitation in the mail for my dad's third wedding. My first name was misspelled on the envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 881

You deserved it 2 741

21/10/2014 15:49

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 755

You deserved it 7 767

21/05/2011 21:29

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 384

You deserved it 34 779

Evil will always win

By Anonymous - 04/05/2020 08:00

Today, I tried to suspend a junior accountant for turning up to work late and stoned 3 separate times. Turns out his uncle is a part owner of the business, so the accountant got to smile his smug little grin as I got yelled at for not minding my own business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982

You deserved it 176

12/12/2009 15:47

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 874

You deserved it 2 906

Baked

By Ooops - 12/09/2019 22:02

Today, I kept smelling the pleasant odor of baking bread while driving around. Tonight, I realized that the smell of yeast was actually coming from a cup of moldy smoothie that got missed and left in a cup holder in the back of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 546

03/07/2016 18:05

Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 303

You deserved it 1 924

The Good Fight

By cacheson - 05/06/2020 23:00

Today, my husband and roommate went out to protest for the second day in a row. I have an anxiety disorder, so I can't go. I’m just stuck here watching videos of the fires and violence, wondering if they will even come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 1 037

Very important note

By Stress - 06/02/2020 14:00

Today, the teacher said the class today was very important and that we should take note. Instead of writing notes, I bought a recorder and brought it to class. After class, I listened to the recording and all I could hear was muffled voices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 2 626

20/11/2009 07:26

Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 044

You deserved it 44 197

06/03/2012 13:56

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 231

You deserved it 4 693

Long haul

By Anonymous - 29/07/2021 20:01

Today, my flight from China to Moscow arrived late, making me miss my next transfer flight back home to Ireland. I had to wait for 24 hours for the next flight, without food vouchers, without a free hotel room, and without a free plane ticket that the airport was suppose to give. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 79

Infectious laugh

By Anonymous - 23/02/2021 00:30

Today, I'd always been scared of meeting someone from Tinder, so I was really reassured when my first Tinder date went really well. I kept seeing the guy. He then gave me herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 382

09/04/2015 20:24

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 938

You deserved it 5 437

10/03/2012 06:50

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 156

You deserved it 20 119

The truth

By Theaccident - 22/01/2011 10:03

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 907

You deserved it 3 640

07/02/2017 04:00

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, and my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse!" He laughed his head off and I died a little inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 843

You deserved it 2 072

Party blues

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 06:33

Today, I made out with a guy that I had just met at a party. It was my first kiss. I don't know what's worse, the fact that my first kiss is at the age of 23, or the fact that I saw him making out with a different girl later on in the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 191

You deserved it 16 634

14/10/2009 21:27

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 556

You deserved it 27 106

20/09/2010 00:07

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 497

You deserved it 45 432

19/05/2011 10:11

Today, my 53 year-old art teacher told me she's excited about going clubbing this weekend. I'm excited about watching a special on the History Channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 194

You deserved it 6 660

He may be disappointed

By PureFallPain - 23/11/2019 20:00

Today, I am Catfishing a guy on Twitter. I didn't mean to start it, I had an account I use to vent with and I used a pic with a cute girl. He sent me a DM that he liked my pic. He wants to talk on the phone. We have fallen for each other. He thinks, I am 18. I am a 39 year old single mother of 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 4 985

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Top comments

BabeWithBrains 7

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Monday 9 December 2013 3:28

Nyx_fml 23

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Monday 9 December 2013 3:40

I guess now no one can tell you "pics or it didn't happen".

Comments

Nyx_fml 23

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Monday 9 December 2013 2:54

It must smell horrible. Hopefully his sense of smell will solve this problem for you.

cheshirecat13242 32

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Monday 9 December 2013 3:02

Clearly OP isn't talking about an ordinary onesie. It's the best onesie in the world!!

littlekellilee 45

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Monday 9 December 2013 4:20

If he doesn't ever take it off, the he keeps it on for showers too.

Gangsterrface 10

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Monday 9 December 2013 4:56

Only if he showers.

\ 28

Monday 9 December 2013 9:40

If it's a giraffe onesie, I'd be concerned. A previous FML had the same predicament.

bubblyhayley 16

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Monday 9 December 2013 11:46

just undo the zip if he wears it for sex.. it will trap his little fella in it mid sesh... problem solved!! (from experience) :0

spoo 24

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Monday 9 December 2013 23:25

Where does one get adult onesie???? I just found my new favorite article :)

swaggalikethat 22

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Tuesday 10 December 2013 16:23

If he keeps the onesie on at all times, it helps seal in the flavor. Besides, if it's the superman onesie from Target, who could blame him? You see, it comes with an actual cape.

booboohoney 12

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Monday 9 December 2013 2:55

How do you even have sex in a onesie?! Is there an opening down there?!

SamCat 21

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Monday 9 December 2013 3:23

Some have them on the butt. I don't know about the front though o_O

BlueFlatts 20

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Monday 9 December 2013 3:57

My understanding is that he's not getting sex because he won't take off the onesie.

Adm_Twigs 19

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Monday 9 December 2013 5:17

as a man that has a onesie yes there is a hole and they are really that comfy... I have a feeling my woman posted this.. .

Zimmington 21

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Monday 9 December 2013 5:49

#70- I'm surprised angry feminist haven't gotten on you for saying "my woman"

dreadbeat69 12

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Monday 9 December 2013 7:21

Just wear it backwards

Somuchart 3

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Monday 9 December 2013 8:23

@82 Don't judge, having it the normal way might work perfectly fine for op

an3ph 20

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Monday 9 December 2013 9:21

Do tell!

bubblyhayley 16

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Monday 9 December 2013 11:47

u just zip it down at the front. obv a guy wearing it...

Kamon97 23

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Monday 9 December 2013 2:55

Tell him it's either you or the onesie

Welshite 39

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Monday 9 December 2013 2:56

He'd probably opt for the onesie.

jdeezy01 13

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Monday 9 December 2013 3:00

I would

onlychildFTW 33

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Monday 9 December 2013 10:12

So would I. Who wouldn't??? They are awesome!

xnyletak 17

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Monday 9 December 2013 2:55

Desperate weather conditions calls for desperate measures.

meihua 19

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Thursday 12 December 2013 6:47

Desperate enough to avoid sex? Maybe it's got a dropfront

xzanex 22

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Monday 9 December 2013 2:55

Looks like he might need to stop listening to Macklemore

MMWolves 7

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Monday 9 December 2013 2:56

Man has his priorities.

onlychildFTW 33

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Monday 9 December 2013 10:09

We'll those things are ridiculously comfy!

kinky44 28

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Monday 9 December 2013 14:28

We will? Try "well". It's bad enough not using punctuation, don't misuse it too.

kerbear1232 16

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Tuesday 10 December 2013 19:42

Try making sure it wasn't auto-correct first. This is a fun site people go to for laughs, not where they go to be belittled by jerks like you.

foxy_grampa 19

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Monday 9 December 2013 2:58

I'm sorry you're dating a man child

KylieG818 13

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Monday 9 December 2013 2:58

Family guy moment?

tukies 28

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Monday 9 December 2013 3:21

If it is like that onesie, I wouldn't take it off either. I would just go around shocking people.

hannahsnyder69 16

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Monday 9 December 2013 5:00

That's exactly what I was thinking. Love that episode

jdeezy01 13

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Monday 9 December 2013 2:59

He rocks onesie just for funzies.

zoepie 7

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Monday 9 December 2013 3:03

Treat him like the child he is acting like, no sex for him.

SweetasCandy0609 28

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Monday 9 December 2013 4:36

Apparently he doesn't care since OP said he won't take it off for sex.