Work: Today, I got fired from my job. When I asked why, all that was...

By Kan23 - 26/01/2016 03:37 - United States - Altus

Today, I got fired from my job. When I asked why, all that was said to me was, "We don't have to disclose that information, but you did nothing wrong. It's just not working out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 961

You deserved it 1 449

Work

Compromises

Batman

Best teeth in the game

Best Baby Names of 2021

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 05:02

Today, my boyfriend has had name ideas for his future son and daughter even before I met him, but so have I. He disregards my ideas and suggestions, and is hell bent on giving our kids names because he likes "the way they sound." 'Hippopotamus' sounds good, but who’d name their kids that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 131

By xpxp2002 - 27/05/2009 09:48 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 515

You deserved it 6 579

By wtffireworks! - 26/05/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 18 493

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 16:07 - Canada

Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 151

You deserved it 7 428

By wow - 09/08/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 552

You deserved it 3 169

By Ryan - 11/06/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 183

You deserved it 7 443

By ghostninja4593 - 02/12/2016 03:48 - United States - Council Bluffs

Today, my reflexes kicked in when I saw a hot glue gun falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 147

You deserved it 1 393

You've got some explaining to do

By Anonymous - 19/11/2020 23:01

Today, my boyfriend accidentally synced his contacts to my phone. I'm not sure who I want to message first, "Amber (Big Ass)", "Kayla (Baby Girl)", or one of the other 64 with similar descriptions in parentheses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 96

By varunet2004 - 11/06/2015 19:50 - India

Today, I confronted my boss for his inadequate contribution in our work. He accepted his inadequacy and apologized for not doing enough. He now expects me to work on everything singlehandedly since he has already clarified his inadequacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 459

You deserved it 4 515

By Why Me - 12/08/2015 13:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 326

You deserved it 2 858

By Anonymous - 31/08/2009 20:38 - United States

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 267

You deserved it 11 470

By disheshateme - 18/11/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 616

You deserved it 3 963

By jennybrev - 13/07/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 634

You deserved it 2 844

By Anonymous - 27/07/2018 08:00 - United States - Macon

Today, as I was pulling into work at 15 weeks pregnant, I projectile vomit all over myself and my vehicle. I had an emotional breakdown as I went back home, and called my boss to let him know I would not be in that day. I am now looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 979

You deserved it 497

Good samaritan

By tryingtohelp - 24/05/2020 20:00

Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 603

You deserved it 291

By Blake Lawrence - 26/11/2012 18:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 748

You deserved it 2 597

Car Wars

By no car - 04/08/2020 17:04

Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 361

Choking over here

By JD. - 13/04/2021 00:30

Today, I made the horrible mistake of leaving my car windows cracked while at work. Not only is the exterior yellow due to the pollen, but so is the interior. I'm not allergic, but you can feel the pollen in the back of your throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 233

By "Nancy Marlin" - 16/07/2017 13:00

Today, I had to call the hotel we were staying at to recover some items I had left. Those items consist of a cellphone, razor blades, used batteries, and a vibrator. They have nothing to do with each other, but yes, they're at the front desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 582

You deserved it 1 341

By RosesAreRed - 15/02/2013 06:07 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 777

You deserved it 4 384

Slight overreaction?

By Anonymous - 19/03/2020 07:37

Today, my husband and I recently decided not to have kids, because neither of us like children. Learning this, my dad wrote me out of his will and my mother swore on the Bible in church that she’s never going to speak to me again until I obey God's word and start multiplying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 236

By Anonymous - 13/06/2013 18:56 - India - Pune

Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 360

You deserved it 3 819

By kawood - 30/03/2012 11:32 - United States

Today, I had to sit in the hospital with my 88-year-old grandfather by myself. During the five hours I was there, he insisted on sharing the intimate details of his many sexcapades that he has had since World War II. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 416

You deserved it 3 091

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 14:01

Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 102

By thathurt - 29/03/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 037

You deserved it 29 996

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 934

You deserved it 3 807

By cramps - 17/09/2009 13:59 - Australia

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 131

You deserved it 3 980

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 624

You deserved it 3 872

By -_- - 28/07/2013 22:58 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 696

You deserved it 7 533

By sarad206 - 19/02/2014 21:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 391

You deserved it 3 815

Kinda sus, dude

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 11:00

Today, I found ladies knee-high socks that weren't mine. I don't even own a pair of knee-high socks. After bickering back and forth with my boyfriend, he said, "Actually now that you mention it, I thought they were yours and I put them there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 71

By 081013 - 02/03/2013 07:23 - United States - Columbus

Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 346

You deserved it 4 480

By buggyluv - 30/06/2016 15:50 - United States - Edwardsville

Today, at my new job, a coworker offered to help me mop the floors since she wasn't busy. I ended up getting written up by my boss for supposedly being too lazy and making other people finish my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 293

You deserved it 934

Such a weird move either way

By 1337fade - 07/04/2011 05:19 - Denmark

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 155

You deserved it 9 706

By Tallulah - 29/07/2011 06:56 - United Kingdom

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 374

You deserved it 6 546

By sosadbuttrue - 14/01/2012 13:15 - Switzerland

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 128

You deserved it 27 803

By BornInTheWrongEra - 31/03/2013 06:24 - United States

Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 146

You deserved it 5 533

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 19:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 842

You deserved it 4 487

By CptZoe - 29/02/2012 18:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend to marry me, because it's a leap year. He is now avoiding me for fear that I was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 715

You deserved it 16 426

Too late

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 13:25 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 161

You deserved it 7 492

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Top comments

Tripartita 44

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:38

It's not you, OP, it's them. I hope you and the company can remain friends at least. However, they didn't deserve you and were probably employing other people behind your back.

MangoMilkshake 11

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:33

You're better off without them, OP

MangoMilkshake 11

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:33

You're better off without them, OP

krazy789 28

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:56

manager"it's not you, it's me."

hexbox117 11

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:33

Fuck those assholes.

williamcarter93 13

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:33

unfortunately, if you are in an at-will employment state (which is most of the US) then they can do that. your employment can be ended at any time with no warning, nor recourse

ThatHorse 15

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 15:47

Yep. And even states that aren't at will can still fire employees without reason under certain circumstances. for example, most of those states don't require that part time employees be protected by law at all, so they can do whatever the flying flip they want to that employee.

babywearingmama 3

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:18

The only benefit to getting fired is you can now seek unemployment benefits while searching for another job. Better luck next go!

Shugnight 2

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 19:50

At-will employment give rights to both sides, do you really want to lose the right to leave a job you no longer want? Because in any other situation you would be bound to a contract without the opportunity to leave.

individual00 14

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 22:54

@40 You can still leave a job, you just have to work notice. My current notice period is 2 months. I think that's a very small price to pay for job security.

micassures_fml 19

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Wednesday 27 January 2016 23:09

Seriously, when I read stuff like that, I am so relieved not to be American

lechatsurletable 14

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Wednesday 3 February 2016 0:58

40, I used to live in a "just cause" state. It's like 49 said, as an employee, you just have to give notice that you're leaving. The catch where I lived was that you couldn't sue your employer for things, unlike in at will states. So yes, you had a degree of job security if you were full-time, but if something went wrong, you also couldn't bring suit to rectify it. (Of course, if there's a criminal issue, you could go to the police, but you couldn't really bring civil suits.)

nodeathtoall 19

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Tripartita 44

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:38

It's not you, OP, it's them. I hope you and the company can remain friends at least. However, they didn't deserve you and were probably employing other people behind your back.

lexiieeex3 32

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 16:21

Sounds more like wrongful termination to me...

KhaleesiDannie 26

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 17:43

"Um you mean EX company right?"

Shugnight 2

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 19:52

That's incorrect. Any lawyer would tell you that you have no case, as the company broke no laws.

kissiy6 15

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Wednesday 27 January 2016 4:59

I know this isn't in Canada, but in Ontario you can be fired for any reason; HOWEVER, they have to pay you in lieu of notice. Normally, they try to avoid giving you any reason at all as if they say the wrong thing you could then take it to a lawyer for wrongful termination.

Ruskiy_Cherep 18

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Wednesday 27 January 2016 23:02

This comment made my day lmao

vikky538 28

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:39

So they broke up with you in short ?

selquist 6

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:43

Shitty employers are shitty.

Publikwerks 14

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:45

Make sure to put in for unemployment. If they want to claim that your were terminated with cause, they will have to state why.

hilamonster06 21

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 14:51

Wow! Did ya get fired or break up with someone. That sounds like it's the whole, it not you it's me bs. sorry ya got fired, good luck with the job market.