Today, my boss asked me to pick up more waitressing shifts because we are short-staffed. I already work seven days a week. FML
Today, at work, my manager thought I needed to be showed how to use Windex. FML
Today, a man came into the library where I work with a bag. He told me the bag was full of bugs he found in and around his toilet, and demanded that I help identify them. He then added, "They might be parasites. They're all over the bathroom, but I got the toilet ones here." FML
coffeecoffeecoffee tells us more.
Hi! OP here! These comments are really making me laugh! Thank you! I told the man he couldn't have the bugs in the building, which resulted in him yelling at me saying I was "no help". He didn't want a real "bug professional" to look at them, because it would cost too much money. I ended up getting my manager, who (thankfully) made the man (and his "pets") leave the building. You could say I was bugging out over the whole thing. Ugh.
Today, my boss held a meeting to talk about how we can't overlook others and no one should pick favorites. I walked out unemployed when I pointed out that she completely ignored the person who made the biggest sale in company history and constantly gave her son raises for mediocre work. FML
Today, at my first day of work at a new job, I got stuck in the elevator going to the parking garage. I have claustrophobia about both elevators and parking garages. They said this never happens. FML
Today, a customer came to my shop and asked our shop assistant if we had Smart TVs. She replied, "No we only have LG and Samsung." FML
Today, just like when I interviewed for the job, I know nothing about graphic design and I'm not interested in sales. I've just found out that my "project management" job I was hired for now has the job title "Graphic Sales." They changed it after I started 3 days ago. FML
PhoenixChick tells us more.
PhoenixChick 26
OP here- the hilarious thing about them changing the job is that the new "Graphic Sales" job involved being the customer service desk for any customer having problems with their graphics files. There are two full time graphic designers, but they decided the gal who was hired to "make sure production is kept on track" is the one who should answer every single question regarding graphics and deisgn for all current and potential customers. To make things more fun, today I found out that the former owner of the company (and the current owner's dad) has serious age-related memory problems and forgets that he isn't stll the boss. He will show up and start yelling at you and telling you what to do and demanding things. Employees are told to placate him, and try to distraxt him as quickly as possible. But don't do anything to hurt his feelings.
Today, I had what I thought would be an important (and formal) interview. Not only did I turn up completely overdressed, the man who was interviewing me arrived 30 minutes late. To top it all off, I was so distracted by his mysterious total lack of eyebrows that I forgot everything I had to say. FML
Today, I applied for a job and got called in for an interview. I lied on my resume stating that I speak Japanese fluently. Turns out, my potential employer is half-Japanese and wants to conduct the interview entirely in Japanese. FML
jmk10 tells us more.
Op here, wow I didn't know this would actually get published. Yeah I know I shouldn't have lied but I should probably mention that I do know some Japanese (more conversational than fluent, probably enough to be able to assist a customer). I figured it would be okay. Lesson learned. As you can probably figure out, I didn't get the job though.
Today, I worked construction building a hotel. I was taking out the trash when I suddenly felt an extreme urge to poop. I ran into one of the rooms and found an empty cardboard box to poop into. Finished, I closed the box and made my way to the door. I then saw my boss staring at me from the closet. FML
Today, my dad refused to sign a student finance form to allow me to study my dream subject at university because he doesn't want the government knowing his business. FML
Today, I lost my dream job after a week, after being told, "When I hired you, I wasn't honest. I wasn't looking to hire an examiner, I wanted someone to replace me so I can retire in a year. I don't have time to train you for that." FML
Today, while sewing, I learned that I cannot hold pins in my mouth and chew gum at the same time. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I was almost late due to road closure and being blocked in my street by the trash truck. The "interview" turned out to be a hiring fair, with lots of other people. I had to wait outside for 3 hours in the sun with no shade, water or food. I didn't get the job. FML
Today, as a nursing assistant, I often hear that the biggest thing people get from their job is satisfaction of helping others get better. Biggest thing I've gotten out of it? Shingles. FML
Swellswellswell tells us more.
Hey guys, OP here. I've gotten over the worst part of it, just left with a small scab under my eye. When I first started they told me all the vaccines I needed, which they would provide. Shingles/chicken pox vaccine wasn't on there! At least it's cleared now!
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, I interviewed for my dream job. Everything was going great until the interviewer asked, "So, what's your least favorite race?" FML
Today, I found out half of the staff at work have been spreading rumours I'm sleeping with my boss. The other half are spreading rumours I'm sleeping with my subordinate. In reality, every night I go home to an apartment so empty that I don't even have condiments, to sleep alone. FML
Today, I handed in my resignation letter after over three and a half years working at the company. My manager is angry with me, since we returned from an overseas business trip yesterday, and why didn't I inform her before the trip. She now wants me to pay all costs of trip before leaving the job. FML
Today, I came into work feeling good about myself and my upcoming plans. I left before noon with a box of my belongings and uncertainty about my future, having been suddenly laid off. FML
Today, the person who bullied me throughout my childhood eventually resulting in me going to therapy and switching schools became my boss. On top of that, he refers to me by the insulting nickname he called me during childhood. It's good to see that growing up hasn't changed him at all. FML
Today, a reliable source informed me that my suspicions that I would soon be fired were wrong. Instead, my boss plans to make my life miserable until I quit. FML
Today, while on vacation, I got fired for not working a shift I wasn't scheduled for. Even after texting my boss a copy of my vacation approval letter, she still fired me. FML
Today, the toilet in the IT department basement broke and flooded the room with a foot of water. In the process, it destroyed a $7000 server and an equally expensive power supply. FML
Today, I got written up with a final warning because I ''drink alcoholic beverages'' at work. I was drinking Root Beer. FML
Today, I was sitting at a lunch table with some of my coworkers when one of them decided to put out his cigarette on the table and missed. I now have a nice burn mark on my hand. Did he say sorry? No. "Your hand shouldn't have been there." FML
Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML
Today, my boss took back my week off because he wants to take a spontaneous Caribbean vacation with his wife, which is "clearly more important" than what I was going to do. I needed that time off so I could be with my Dad in hospice. FML
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