Work: Everyone's A Critic

Everyone's A Critic

By hushed - 30/08/2017 15:14 - Canada - Leduc

Today, I was hushed in a theatre during a play. I would normally appreciate a discreet silencing in the audience, but I was saying my lines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 257

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Same thing different taste

By Smirky - 13/02/2017 02:30 - India - Bangalore

Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 642

You deserved it 1 720

Never enough

By Discostu80 - 06/06/2009 10:24 - Australia

Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered into my wife's ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud, because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 851

You deserved it 6 942

By embarrassed - 18/11/2010 02:31

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I'd finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 786

You deserved it 3 436

By Annie - 24/02/2011 06:39 - United States

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 939

You deserved it 36 853

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 497

You deserved it 4 634

By Concert Flatulent - 10/07/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 992

You deserved it 29 179

By theatreluver - 05/01/2011 03:15 - United States

Today, it was opening night for the play where I was, for the first time ever, one of the leads. I went on stage with a loud and energetic entrance. I came in two scenes early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 412

You deserved it 33 573

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 15:28 - United States - Jamestown

Today, I was in a play and had a battle scene. I got a little too into it and wound up twisting my ankle. The audience was treated to me screaming like a little girl before face-planting the stage a moment later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 437

You deserved it 3 554

Classic backfire

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 04:00

Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 168

Live dumping

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 02:00

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 2 117

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 30 August 2017 23:28

It is rude to speak loudly when someone is trying to get some rest.

Akitakat 31

Monday 28 August 2017 13:21

To be or n... "Shhhhh!"

Comments

Akitakat 31

Monday 28 August 2017 13:21

To be or n... "Shhhhh!"

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 30 August 2017 23:28

It is rude to speak loudly when someone is trying to get some rest.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 31 August 2017 5:33

Some people prefer pantomime. The customer is always right.

Cali 54

Thursday 31 August 2017 10:15

I really want to know why they decided to do that!

davecross 11

Thursday 31 August 2017 17:28

Sir be quiet your typing is really loud and I'm trying to watch the play.

28actress 22

Friday 1 September 2017 7:30

Where you speaking from the aisles? If so maybe they thought you were an audience member

tiredboredness 3

Saturday 9 September 2017 9:51

"we aren't in Kansas-" "SHHHHHH" "shut yo ass up I'm saying my lines"

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The Top

Today, my dad has been faking social anxiety to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. How do I know? Because I actually have social anxiety, and he not only shows no symptoms of it, but he also has a lot of misconceptions about it that he would know are false if he actually did have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 180

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

The Top

Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 719

You deserved it 4 114

Today, after work I came home to find my sons trying to use my tampons as Nerf darts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 330

Today, I was told that I was an “entitled snowflake.” I'd mentioned that after 5+ years of cancer treatment and over a dozen surgeries, I still have some physical limitations. I literally almost died but still managed to finish school and change careers, but yeah, I’m entitled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 104

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 458

You deserved it 3 690

Today, I got a call from my employers wanting to ask why I had a no call, no show for today. My supervisor reported me for not showing up to work. It's my day off, and also my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 811

You deserved it 869

Today, my husband is so antisocial that when our cul-de-sac held a street party, he threw a half empty Pepsi out of our bedroom window to make us stop playing music. It hit our local vicar. When I demanded he apologise, he just shouted, "Cobblers to the lot of you", and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 238