forever alone
Forever alone
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Forever Alone
Lonesome tonight
Today, and ever since the start of the Covid pandemic, my friends have progressively stopped talking to me. They've stated at the time that they are too tired, their significant other won't let them, or they're simply sick of me. I still want to hang out as usual, but I don't have who to hang out anymore. FML
Anonymous
Germany
Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths
Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML
Anonymous
Lonely boy hiding behind the front door
Today, I learned that my parents know that I have no friends when they told me to go and make some. FML
Anonymous
The future is bleak
Today, I just bought my own house after divorcing my wife of 30 years. We'd been childless by her choice, and as I stood in my new living room, looking at the emptiness, I couldn’t help the feeling I just bought a 2-storey, £125,000 coffin that I’ll one day die alone and be buried in. FML
Bahi
Monotony
Today, after I'd bought a daily planner to write down my plans and my accomplishments for this year, we're now in March and it’s completely empty. I realized that I have no goal, no plans, nothing. FML
mstar
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Forever alone
Today, I realized how lonely I am when I got excited over receiving my daily weather update from the Weather Channel. FML
anon
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Israel
Lonely birthday
Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML
Anon
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Pets 4 life
Today, I was so lonely that I was comforted by the sound of mice running through the walls of my apartment. I left cheese and peanut butter out for them to find so that I could at least have a pet for company. FML
Anonymous
FOMO FML
Today, my church friends ditched me to go skiing with a bunch of jewish basketball players from another school. They said I’d "harsh the vibe" with my "principles". The photos they post online look like they’re having a lot of fun. FML
Anonymous
Desperation
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
really
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
United States
Nostradamus
Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML
Anonymous
Single and unwilling to mingle
Today, without really meaning to, I’ve become the angry old widower who lives alone, and whose neighbours don’t talk to him and their kids are scared of. I can’t be sure, but I think the kids even invented a legend about me being the old man monster of the neighbourhood. FML
Anonymous
Lonely boy
Today, I sprayed a woman's perfume on a pillow, just so it would be easier for me to pretend I have someone to hug and cuddle with. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Good boy
Today, it's my birthday, and the only male attention I've had in months is when the dog greeted me with his red rocket out and his tail wagging. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Horny
Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I got turned on by a knothole in a tree trunk because it looked a lot like a woman’s downstairs area. FML
Anonymous
Miami, United States
Are you lonesome tonight?
Today, I get as much time with the woman of my dreams as I do with my children: One day, every two weeks. She lives with me. They don't. FML
Anonymous
Chester, United States
Take the L
Today, it's both my 28th birthday and New Year’s Eve. Even though it's a Friday, tonight’s big plans are frozen pizza and going to bed early. I live with my parents and even they are going out tonight, leaving me to watch the dog. Happy Birthday, loser! FML
sad and ugly
🌶️ Spicy
Lonesome tonight?
Today, I really want to punch whoever says women have no problem getting laid. It’s been so long since I’ve felt the touch of another human, I actually considered hiring a male prostitute just so I can be in a man’s arms. FML
Anonymous
This pandemic hit some of us harder than others
Today, I've had to accept that, despite my efforts to stay in touch with the few friends I made at college, I have zero friends. FML
LieutenantDimwit
Jordan
Your name's not down, you're not coming in
Today, after I was invited to a party a few days ago, I was removed from the group as the “maximum was 35”, but the host promised me to add me back if there was space left. I was just informed by my other friend that there’s now 60 people in the group, and that the host simply didn’t want me to come. FML
Loner
Sounds wonderful
Today, I spent the thirty second consecutive day in a row seeing no one but my cat. FML
Anonymous
Mean girls
Today, I found out via Whatsapp status about a girl's outing of a group I'm in. I wasn't invited. I'm 35 and it's high school all over again. FML
Anonymous
Are you lonesome tonight?
Today, Thanksgiving Day and I have no family to spend with, all my friends are busy or out of town, and the only person actively talking to me is a random guy on Bumble. FML
Anonymous
Ashburn, United States
You're probably better off
Today, after my cheating wife moved out earlier this year, the kids are with her and her family for Thanksgiving. I didn't get a single invite from any of my local family members to Thanksgiving dinner. I had dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Good job
Today, I paid a hooker for a handjob, not because I was horny but because I’m single with no friends or relatives, and still working from home. It’s been so long since I’ve had human contact outside of work emails, it was nice to be able to talk to a human being for a few minutes in person. FML
Anonymous
Toronto, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Ghosted
Today, I gave up on Grindr because every time someone finally sees my picture, they ghost me. Either I’m really ugly, or most of the world hates black guys, either way… FML
Brit
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
Pick me
Today, I made a Facebook under a guy's name and I'm sending myself wall posts just so it looks like I actually talk to a guy. FML
Anonymous
Tedious problems require extreme solutions
Today, my life is so devoid of love and joy that I seriously considered making junk food my full-time hobby, in the hope of getting diabetes and dying from it. At least that would be a pleasant way to kill myself. FML
John
Monster Mash
Today, I realized I'm a failure as a man. It's been 17 years since a woman even touched me. I grew up fatherless, have completely lost hope for any chance of a wife or kids. I'm 35 and never been in a relationship. I'm a complete failure because of all this, and have become a monster. FML