Just survey your yard in your undershirt and your boxers while carrying a shotgun. Give 'em something to talk about. (And you won't get hassled at Halloween.)

You’re pretty much the male me so my advice is to just own it. I’m a young-ish widow living alone in a decently large house with my two cats. I dye my hair every color of the rainbow and never talk to the neighbors. I’m sure they have their assumptions and I’m all for being the neighborhood “witch” or whatnot. It’s actually a bit fun.