Animals, Birthday, Dogs and Lonely: Good boy

Good boy

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 20:00

Today, it's my birthday, and the only male attention I've had in months is when the dog greeted me with his red rocket out and his tail wagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 212

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Same thing different taste

By Meowit - 07/09/2014 03:06 - United States - Livonia

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 659

You deserved it 3 227

By garfwebba - 03/01/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 486

You deserved it 6 636

Fashionista

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 00:25 - United States - Newark

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 609

You deserved it 5 730

By Shelly - 30/10/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 177

You deserved it 12 589

Loner

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 16:00 - New Zealand

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do, since he's been invited to more doggy birthday parties than I've been invited to regular parties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 659

You deserved it 5 535

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 159

By googly191 - 19/12/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 661

You deserved it 2 490

By carboncoach - 13/12/2013 17:24 - Egypt

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 815

You deserved it 3 408

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 01:40 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 000

You deserved it 3 454

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 23 January 2022 21:15

He must think you're a hot bitch.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 24 January 2022 0:28

Sure, you can.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 23 January 2022 21:15

He must think you're a hot bitch.

Jasmina Earmann 5

Monday 24 January 2022 0:11

Can I have a chat with you

RichardPencil 30

Monday 24 January 2022 0:28

Sure, you can.

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Keywords

Sextoys Intimacy Delivery Weird Social Media Animals Cats Relatable Stuck Annoying Love Work Dogs Gross Miscellaneous Embarrassing Toilet Awkward Clothes My ex Kids First Dates Transportation Cars Road rage Anxiety Music Drunk Vacation Camping

The Top

Today, while on vacation, I lost my virginity to this really cute girl from Canada. I texted my older cousin to brag about it, to which he replied, “A girl from Canada? That’s the oldest cliché lie in the book.” I didn’t know it was cliché. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 328

Today, I had a threesome with two girls. We'd hashed everything out and decided it would just be a one time thing, no attachments. It was great, but afterwards they both got mad at me for not trying to date one of them, and then accused me of wanting the other friend more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 1 830

The Top

Today, I managed to lose a 3XL fleece jacket in my house, which had my wallet and car keys in it. I had the pleasure of explaining this to my boss when I had to call in, after everyone I called did not respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 358

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 054

You deserved it 3 551

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 535

You deserved it 3 571

Today, I got called a "politically correct loser" by a woman at the supermarket, all because I said I didn't want to find out the gender of my baby until birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 283

You deserved it 2 126

Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I'm his girlfriend, my sister didn't recognize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 009

You deserved it 4 782

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 513

You deserved it 5 534

Good boy

Same thing different taste

Fashionista

Loner

Oh no…

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