By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 09:38 - India The cringe is real Today, I was excited for my very first oral sex session. Didn't imagine that the guy would bite everywhere like a beaver trying to be sexy and leave without even cuddling. Definitely didn't match the long sexts. FML I agree, your life sucks 951 You deserved it 138 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 27/2/2020 20:00 Completely wet Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 696 You deserved it 1886 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 27/2/2020 18:00 Not really a good idea Today, I decide to let my boyfriend introduce food into our sex life, then a few days after we used melted chocolate I got a UTI. I’ve never had a UTI before in my life so I’m blaming him for the fact it feels like I’m peeing needles dipped in acid. FML I agree, your life sucks 897 You deserved it 2224 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 24/2/2020 18:00 I miss him Today, after a 6 month dry spell, my husband was yet again “too tired” to have sex. I guess I finally found something I miss about my ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 2256 You deserved it 405 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 22/2/2020 20:00 Too dry Today, I spent the evening with my new wife at the doctor’s because she thought she had a UTI. The doctor sent the nurse to talk to us because he was too embarrassed to tell us that we just needed to use more lube. FML I agree, your life sucks 1705 You deserved it 332 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 21/2/2020 14:00 No chance Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML I agree, your life sucks 1443 You deserved it 845 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/2/2020 14:00 My alarm Today, yet again, I woke up at the sound of my parents having sex like apes, and couldn't get back to sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1843 You deserved it 216 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 19/2/2020 20:00 Just once Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1823 You deserved it 174 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/2/2020 19:00 I don't care Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML I agree, your life sucks 648 You deserved it 5024 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/2/2020 14:00 My husband's passion Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning he spent 2 hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after 5 minutes, then 5 minutes after that, he was playing with the cat again. FML I agree, your life sucks 1690 You deserved it 334 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/2/2020 20:00 Waste moment Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML I agree, your life sucks 942 You deserved it 1198 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 10/2/2020 01:00 Where it is? Today, my girlfriend and I were doing the deed when she suddenly said, "Hold on babe, I think my nose ring fell out." After she couldn't find it for a minute, she said "I'm sure it's on the bed somewhere." Immediately after that, she yelled, "OH MY GOD I JUST SWALLOWED IT." FML I agree, your life sucks 1626 You deserved it 260 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 8/2/2020 18:00 Crazy party Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML I agree, your life sucks 2431 You deserved it 291 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Kilamo" - 25/1/2020 14:00 - United States Best words Today, my boyfriend of 3 years got down on one knee and asked those words all girls love to hear "would you do me the honor of performing fellatio on me"? with a Lifesavers gummy ring. FML I agree, your life sucks 1865 You deserved it 371 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "cowboy_gold " - 25/1/2020 05:00 Don't ignore neighbor Today, I came back to my dorm only to find the noise of my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was talking in my head when I said at least do it against the other wall. But, when I was leaving later, he walked by apologizing and said that he thought that I was not there, then promised to do more quietly next time. FML I agree, your life sucks 1647 You deserved it 375 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 23/1/2020 18:00 Just love! Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML I agree, your life sucks 1951 You deserved it 493 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck - 22/1/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie Late reaction Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML I agree, your life sucks 2190 You deserved it 625 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/1/2020 05:00 Nice pic Today, for the first time in my life, I sent a member pic to a girl I had been talking to for a few days on Snapchat. (she had asked me for it). She saw the pic, and blocked me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1769 You deserved it 915 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Almost done Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML I agree, your life sucks 1799 You deserved it 376 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Feema - United States I am his girlfriend Today, right after sex, my boyfriend told me that I was as good as a man, and all that I was missing was a strap-on penis. FML I agree, your life sucks 2406 You deserved it 323 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By John Doe Shaving! Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML I agree, your life sucks 1942 You deserved it 437 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The best method! Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML I agree, your life sucks 2599 You deserved it 787 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Our anniversary Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2345 You deserved it 475 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Christmas shopping Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML I agree, your life sucks 2161 You deserved it 198 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Christmas pictures Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, wearing just a Santa hat. FML I agree, your life sucks 2735 You deserved it 288 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JackOLantern2099 She dared to say ... Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML I agree, your life sucks 2351 You deserved it 321 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IzzMeister - United States Watch a movie Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn of my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML I agree, your life sucks 1832 You deserved it 143 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Just a question Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML I agree, your life sucks 1975 You deserved it 235 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Crazy best friend Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML I agree, your life sucks 2531 You deserved it 694 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oregon Does it taste good? Today, while my boyfriend was fingering me, he accidentally pulled out my NuvaRing, he then licked it off and placed it back inside me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2686 You deserved it 489 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I arranged for the President to give a speech in Alamo, Texas. His advance crew instead notified The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas to set up the event.... I agree, your life sucks 32 You deserved it 18 1 Comments
Today, I heard my mom and my 11 years old sister talking about how being gay or bi is funny and everybody should be straight.I'm bi(14 years old) and... I agree, your life sucks 71 You deserved it 11 0 Comments
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 628 You deserved it 183 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 1109 You deserved it 171 11 Comments