By - 27/2/2020 20:00 Completely wet Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 675 You deserved it 1852 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 27/2/2020 18:00 Not really a good idea Today, I decide to let my boyfriend introduce food into our sex life, then a few days after we used melted chocolate I got a UTI. I’ve never had a UTI before in my life so I’m blaming him for the fact it feels like I’m peeing needles dipped in acid. FML I agree, your life sucks 863 You deserved it 2104 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 24/2/2020 18:00 I miss him Today, after a 6 month dry spell, my husband was yet again “too tired” to have sex. I guess I finally found something I miss about my ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 2165 You deserved it 385 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 22/2/2020 20:00 Too dry Today, I spent the evening with my new wife at the doctor’s because she thought she had a UTI. The doctor sent the nurse to talk to us because he was too embarrassed to tell us that we just needed to use more lube. FML I agree, your life sucks 1667 You deserved it 324 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 21/2/2020 14:00 No chance Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML I agree, your life sucks 1409 You deserved it 829 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 20/2/2020 14:00 My alarm Today, yet again, I woke up at the sound of my parents having sex like apes, and couldn't get back to sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1806 You deserved it 210 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 19/2/2020 20:00 Just once Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1792 You deserved it 170 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/2/2020 19:00 I don't care Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML I agree, your life sucks 610 You deserved it 4733 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/2/2020 14:00 My husband's passion Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning he spent 2 hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after 5 minutes, then 5 minutes after that, he was playing with the cat again. FML I agree, your life sucks 1655 You deserved it 320 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/2/2020 20:00 Waste moment Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML I agree, your life sucks 922 You deserved it 1173 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 10/2/2020 01:00 Where it is? Today, my girlfriend and I were doing the deed when she suddenly said, "Hold on babe, I think my nose ring fell out." After she couldn't find it for a minute, she said "I'm sure it's on the bed somewhere." Immediately after that, she yelled, "OH MY GOD I JUST SWALLOWED IT." FML I agree, your life sucks 1600 You deserved it 257 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 8/2/2020 18:00 Crazy party Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML I agree, your life sucks 2329 You deserved it 275 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Kilamo" - 25/1/2020 14:00 - United States Best words Today, my boyfriend of 3 years got down on one knee and asked those words all girls love to hear "would you do me the honor of performing fellatio on me"? with a Lifesavers gummy ring. FML I agree, your life sucks 1827 You deserved it 364 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "cowboy_gold " - 25/1/2020 05:00 Don't ignore neighbor Today, I came back to my dorm only to find the noise of my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was talking in my head when I said at least do it against the other wall. But, when I was leaving later, he walked by apologizing and said that he thought that I was not there, then promised to do more quietly next time. FML I agree, your life sucks 1609 You deserved it 369 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 23/1/2020 18:00 Just love! Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML I agree, your life sucks 1878 You deserved it 465 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck - 22/1/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie Late reaction Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML I agree, your life sucks 2152 You deserved it 615 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/1/2020 05:00 Nice pic Today, for the first time in my life, I sent a member pic to a girl I had been talking to for a few days on Snapchat. (she had asked me for it). She saw the pic, and blocked me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1742 You deserved it 897 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/1/2020 05:00 Almost done Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML I agree, your life sucks 1764 You deserved it 365 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Feema - 9/1/2020 14:00 - United States I am his girlfriend Today, right after sex, my boyfriend told me that I was as good as a man, and all that I was missing was a strap-on penis. FML I agree, your life sucks 2354 You deserved it 319 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By John Doe - 7/1/2020 05:00 Shaving! Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML I agree, your life sucks 1912 You deserved it 425 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 4/1/2020 18:00 The best method! Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML I agree, your life sucks 2491 You deserved it 748 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 27/12/2019 20:00 Our anniversary Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2268 You deserved it 446 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 26/12/2019 20:00 Christmas shopping Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML I agree, your life sucks 2086 You deserved it 186 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 20/12/2019 20:00 Christmas pictures Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, wearing just a Santa hat. FML I agree, your life sucks 2640 You deserved it 275 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JackOLantern2099 - 17/12/2019 18:00 She dared to say ... Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML I agree, your life sucks 2287 You deserved it 306 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IzzMeister - 15/12/2019 20:00 - United States Watch a movie Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn of my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML I agree, your life sucks 1804 You deserved it 139 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/12/2019 14:00 Just a question Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML I agree, your life sucks 1943 You deserved it 232 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/12/2019 18:00 Crazy best friend Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML I agree, your life sucks 2440 You deserved it 658 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oregon - 4/12/2019 18:00 Does it taste good? Today, while my boyfriend was fingering me, he accidentally pulled out my NuvaRing, he then licked it off and placed it back inside me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2428 You deserved it 406 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 29/11/2019 20:00 Last act Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2863 You deserved it 213 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
I've been working from home since quarantine. We were slow Today so I typed "lola fox bbc dp porn" into my team chat thinking i was typing it into my personal... I agree, your life sucks 4 You deserved it 27 0 Comments
Today, My boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks & have had sex twice.. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 You deserved it 2 0 Comments
Today, my state began relaxing the quarantine order. We decided to take the kids for a nice picnic in the park to get them outside. First park we went... I agree, your life sucks 133 You deserved it 26 1 Comments
Today, I had too much to eat at dinner. I had to cut sexy time with my husband short because I couldn't do it. I feel bad because it's his birthday today... I agree, your life sucks 875 You deserved it 354 4 Comments