Intimate moments, Your everyday life stories

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Today, I sneezed and pissed myself. It was not a few drops, but a full on, which soaking my pants. Briefly, I piss in public. FML

By "oppsiedaisey" - 9/11/2019 18:00

Not only sneeze

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Today, I had my first golden shower. Too bad it was from my cat. FML

By - 8/11/2019 03:00

Golden shower

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Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

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Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 15/12/2018 23:00 - United States - University Center

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Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

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Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

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Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get it on. That's when the bell rang. He said, 'I'll just be back'. 5 minutes later, still no sign of him. I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the hall. Turns out his new PS4 had arrived. He said, 'I forgot you were here, sorry' and continued to play. FML

By Mia - 12/12/2018 17:00 - India - Mumbai

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Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML

By "Lisa" - 11/12/2018 04:00 - Romania

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Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML

By - 7/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Huntsville

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Today my boyfriend went through my phone while I was in the bathroom to check if I was cheating...... I wasn't. He was looking for some leverage so when he told me he's been fucking my bestfriend for the last year, he could use something against me... FML

By Ms.rain - 7/12/2018 12:30

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Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML

By Embarrassed - 6/12/2018 03:00

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Today me and my boyfriend were in an adventurous sexual position and as I started to orgasm he slipped, landed awkwardly and dislocated both my hips, while I was in the middle of an orgasm. Somehow the pleasure of the orgasm made the pain worse. I don't think I'll ever want sex again. FML

By - 5/12/2018 21:00 - United Kingdom

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Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him... FML

By - 4/12/2018 15:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

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Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying “woah no thanks”. I get rejected even in my dream. FML

By Hopeless - 4/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Saint Kilda

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Today, when I woke up I saw that my bald head is covered with my wife's period blood. Again. She does it regularly once a month, despite asking her not to. She thinks this blood activates hair growth. She is serious. FML

By stillloverher - 19/9/2017 23:45

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Today, the moment after hitting "confirm payment" for my boyfriend's valentine gift (along with some sexy lingerie for the occasion) on a shopping app, my period tracker app popped up to let me know I'll be well into my period on the 14th. I'm getting cockblocked by mother nature herself. FML

By - 5/2/2017 13:00 - United States - Modesto

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Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 months told me he doesn't know how he feels about me because he's not excited when we meet and doesn't miss me when we don't text for a while. He decides to tell me this while we're laying in bed right after having sex for the first time. FML

By Her - 5/12/2016 17:01 - Canada - Montr?al

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Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. When he slid his penis in, he felt my NuvaRing, and with the most excitement I've ever seen a man muster, said, "Oh my god! You have your clit pierced! I can't believe I actually get to have sex with a girl who has her clit pierced!" FML

By ArsonistsLullaby - 21/9/2016 21:02 - United States

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Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML

By RhiannonMuh - 9/9/2016 20:01 - Germany - Starnberg

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Today, I went on a blind date. Things got hot and heavy, but when he pulled off my pants and saw the Pittsburgh Penguins logo on my thong he stopped and told me to get dressed and that he refused to sleep with the enemy. He was a die-hard Flyers fan. FML

By Thatgirl112 - 8/9/2016 03:59 - United States - Medina

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Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

By Ummm - 3/8/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

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Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

By drpepperking10 - 2/7/2016 23:27 - United States

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

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Today, my upstairs neighbor woke me with her sex moans, reminding me how single I'll be on Valentine's. FML

By me_jpg - 13/2/2016 15:43 - United States

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Whoa this got published haha! Thank you guys, being single is not a bad thing to me, I very much enjoy it in some ways, not so much in others. Hearing someone be intimate with another makes me wish I had that though. Just a thought. Happy valentines!

me_jpg Say more :

By Hello condoms and lube - 9/2/2016 21:53 - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I learnt what my boss meant when he said he would 'get his revenge on me' for winning a bet. I have to clean all the rooms that currently have a couple staying in it on February 15th. I don't want to work in a hotel anymore. FML

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Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

By Lady Vulva - 19/9/2015 02:56

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Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

By Yupppp. - 11/2/2015 06:25 - United States - Flushing

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Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

By dab1230 - 7/2/2013 00:26 - United States - Binghamton

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