FML : Intimate moments, Your everyday life stories

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - / Saturday 15 December 2018 23:00 / United States - University Center

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Rella - / Saturday 15 December 2018 03:00 /

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Friday 14 December 2018 14:00 /

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get it on. That's when the bell rang. He said, 'I'll just be back'. 5 minutes later, still no sign of him. I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the hall. Turns out his new PS4 had arrived. He said, 'I forgot you were here, sorry' and continued to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Mia - / Wednesday 12 December 2018 17:00 / India - Mumbai

Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "Lisa" - / Tuesday 11 December 2018 04:00 / Romania

Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Friday 7 December 2018 20:00 / United States - Huntsville

Today my boyfriend went through my phone while I was in the bathroom to check if I was cheating...... I wasn't. He was looking for some leverage so when he told me he's been fucking my bestfriend for the last year, he could use something against me... FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Ms.rain - / Friday 7 December 2018 12:30 /

Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Embarrassed - / Thursday 6 December 2018 03:00 /

Today me and my boyfriend were in an adventurous sexual position and as I started to orgasm he slipped, landed awkwardly and dislocated both my hips, while I was in the middle of an orgasm. Somehow the pleasure of the orgasm made the pain worse. I don't think I'll ever want sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Wednesday 5 December 2018 21:00 / United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him... FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Tuesday 4 December 2018 15:00 / United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying “woah no thanks”. I get rejected even in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Hopeless - / Tuesday 4 December 2018 13:00 / Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, when I woke up I saw that my bald head is covered with my wife's period blood. Again. She does it regularly once a month, despite asking her not to. She thinks this blood activates hair growth. She is serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By stillloverher - / Tuesday 19 September 2017 23:45 /

Today, the moment after hitting "confirm payment" for my boyfriend's valentine gift (along with some sexy lingerie for the occasion) on a shopping app, my period tracker app popped up to let me know I'll be well into my period on the 14th. I'm getting cockblocked by mother nature herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Sunday 5 February 2017 13:00 / United States - Modesto

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 months told me he doesn't know how he feels about me because he's not excited when we meet and doesn't miss me when we don't text for a while. He decides to tell me this while we're laying in bed right after having sex for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Her - / Monday 5 December 2016 17:01 / Canada - Montr?al

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. When he slid his penis in, he felt my NuvaRing, and with the most excitement I've ever seen a man muster, said, "Oh my god! You have your clit pierced! I can't believe I actually get to have sex with a girl who has her clit pierced!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By ArsonistsLullaby - / Wednesday 21 September 2016 21:02 / United States

Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By RhiannonMuh - / Friday 9 September 2016 20:01 / Germany - Starnberg

Today, I went on a blind date. Things got hot and heavy, but when he pulled off my pants and saw the Pittsburgh Penguins logo on my thong he stopped and told me to get dressed and that he refused to sleep with the enemy. He was a die-hard Flyers fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Thatgirl112 - / Thursday 8 September 2016 03:59 / United States - Medina

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Ummm - / Wednesday 3 August 2016 19:45 / United States - Wheaton

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

Phew, glad it wasn't me

By drpepperking10 - / Saturday 2 July 2016 23:27 / United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor woke me with her sex moans, reminding me how single I'll be on Valentine's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

me_jpg Say more :

Whoa this got published haha! Thank you guys, being single is not a bad thing to me, I very much enjoy it in some ways, not so much in others. Hearing someone be intimate with another makes me wish I had that though. Just a thought. Happy valentines!

By me_jpg - / Saturday 13 February 2016 15:43 / United States