By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 09:38 - India The cringe is real Today, I was excited for my very first oral sex session. Didn't imagine that the guy would bite everywhere like a beaver trying to be sexy and leave without even cuddling. Definitely didn't match the long sexts. FML I agree, your life sucks 1028 You deserved it 143 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Completely wet Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 698 You deserved it 1901 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Not really a good idea Today, I decide to let my boyfriend introduce food into our sex life, then a few days after we used melted chocolate I got a UTI. I’ve never had a UTI before in my life so I’m blaming him for the fact it feels like I’m peeing needles dipped in acid. FML I agree, your life sucks 905 You deserved it 2242 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I miss him Today, after a 6 month dry spell, my husband was yet again “too tired” to have sex. I guess I finally found something I miss about my ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 2265 You deserved it 409 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Too dry Today, I spent the evening with my new wife at the doctor’s because she thought she had a UTI. The doctor sent the nurse to talk to us because he was too embarrassed to tell us that we just needed to use more lube. FML I agree, your life sucks 1719 You deserved it 372 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By No chance Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML I agree, your life sucks 1453 You deserved it 847 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous My alarm Today, yet again, I woke up at the sound of my parents having sex like apes, and couldn't get back to sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1857 You deserved it 217 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Just once Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1835 You deserved it 175 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous I don't care Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML I agree, your life sucks 654 You deserved it 5074 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous My husband's passion Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning he spent 2 hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after 5 minutes, then 5 minutes after that, he was playing with the cat again. FML I agree, your life sucks 1708 You deserved it 335 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Waste moment Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML I agree, your life sucks 945 You deserved it 1202 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Where it is? Today, my girlfriend and I were doing the deed when she suddenly said, "Hold on babe, I think my nose ring fell out." After she couldn't find it for a minute, she said "I'm sure it's on the bed somewhere." Immediately after that, she yelled, "OH MY GOD I JUST SWALLOWED IT." FML I agree, your life sucks 1639 You deserved it 261 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crazy party Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML I agree, your life sucks 2445 You deserved it 291 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Kilamo" - United States Best words Today, my boyfriend of 3 years got down on one knee and asked those words all girls love to hear "would you do me the honor of performing fellatio on me"? with a Lifesavers gummy ring. FML I agree, your life sucks 1874 You deserved it 376 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "cowboy_gold " Don't ignore neighbor Today, I came back to my dorm only to find the noise of my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was talking in my head when I said at least do it against the other wall. But, when I was leaving later, he walked by apologizing and said that he thought that I was not there, then promised to do more quietly next time. FML I agree, your life sucks 1656 You deserved it 413 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Just love! Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML I agree, your life sucks 1963 You deserved it 495 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck - Canada - Airdrie Late reaction Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML I agree, your life sucks 2203 You deserved it 629 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Nice pic Today, for the first time in my life, I sent a member pic to a girl I had been talking to for a few days on Snapchat. (she had asked me for it). She saw the pic, and blocked me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1778 You deserved it 921 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Almost done Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML I agree, your life sucks 1806 You deserved it 378 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Feema - United States I am his girlfriend Today, right after sex, my boyfriend told me that I was as good as a man, and all that I was missing was a strap-on penis. FML I agree, your life sucks 2418 You deserved it 323 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By John Doe Shaving! Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML I agree, your life sucks 1951 You deserved it 439 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The best method! Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML I agree, your life sucks 2613 You deserved it 791 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Our anniversary Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2353 You deserved it 475 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Christmas shopping Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML I agree, your life sucks 2171 You deserved it 198 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Christmas pictures Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, wearing just a Santa hat. FML I agree, your life sucks 2745 You deserved it 291 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JackOLantern2099 Observational comedy Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML I agree, your life sucks 2382 You deserved it 327 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IzzMeister - United States Watch a movie Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn of my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML I agree, your life sucks 1842 You deserved it 173 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Just a question Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML I agree, your life sucks 1980 You deserved it 235 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Crazy best friend Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML I agree, your life sucks 2544 You deserved it 697 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oregon Does it taste good? Today, while my boyfriend was fingering me, he accidentally pulled out my NuvaRing, he then licked it off and placed it back inside me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2700 You deserved it 491 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I slept with my cousin's son near me in a room and his parents were sleeping to the next room. I was chatting with my friends and suddenly realized... I agree, your life sucks 12 You deserved it 2 0 Comments
Today I told my husband about having to tell an eating disorder specialist about past rape, abuse and beatings. He got angry my gifted rosary beads got... I agree, your life sucks 5 You deserved it 0 1 Comments
Today, marks almost two years of being sexually inactive after being widowed. It also happened to be the day I made an uncharacteristic decision. I hooked... I agree, your life sucks 689 You deserved it 122 5 Comments
Today, my boyfriend hasn’t asked for sex in a while, like months, and when I asked him about it he admitted that every day I shout at him, snap at him... I agree, your life sucks 262 You deserved it 3296 22 Comments