By Nightmare - 15/01/2013 14:41

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 032
You deserved it 4 742

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World's youngest troll?

I have to say, I do love a good prank. Cruel, yes. Well done, for sure.


World's youngest troll?

She must be. Maybe OP, you should tell her about the Boy Who Cried Wolf story...

But it wouldn't matter if she's really dead.

This comment couldn't of said it better :) Trolled!

I feel like it's been corrected so many times now that people have to have seen the proper wording for it, and are just doing it on purpose now to piss people off.

I think so.

You know, I don't really think THAT many people acctually care so fucking much about perfect grammar. I think they just think it makes them sound smart and in touch with one of the heights of the new hipster age. I understand being bothered by people who "tipe lik dis :P;):(((", but otherwise, if you can marginally understand the comment, don't go all grammar nazi when trully no one should give a fuck.

SailorSolaris 43

World's youngest troll.

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Not when you're a mom of a five year old...

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You've obviously never cared for a child.

TheDrifter 23

Give it fifteen minutes. Half dried Heinz and partially congealed blood look strikingly similar, especially if she left thicker sections to look like clotted wounds.

Even if ketchup looks different, you'd panic if you saw that, especially when a child is involved.

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^So if you saw a kid laying on the floor covered in liquid that looks like it might be blood, you'd just nudge him/her and say "get up bro"?

I think people are just jaded by modern movie gore. I pulled this one on my parents when I was a kid and it freaked them out. If the teenage brother had any brains he would have played with it until it looked like the real thing. Also a lot of people don't know what blood looks like in that kind of situation anyway which is probably a good thing.

20, some people are really cold-blooded.

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^ would you dip your finger in it and taste it? A good parents first reaction would be panic or something similiar Whoever says differently isn't fit to be a parent?

105, seriously? Your first reaction would be to check if it's legit??????? Do you not realize that you might be a little preoccupied with the first thing you saw: an unconscious looking child covered in red stuff sprawled on the floor before the rationality bit of any part of your brain kicked in? Also OP was most likely at least 10 feet away to start... She wouldn't have even been able to tell immediately.

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Hmmm, my possibly dying child is lying on the floor, I think it would be a good idea to not help, and make sure it's legit. You are the definition of dipshit.

115 the first reaction would be to see if this is actually a child that needs help. Could be a dummy. Could be an object that looked similar because you didn't sleep enough or have a poor eyesight. Also, ketchup and blood smell differently. Panic is pointless - in emergency people can die because their "saviors" panicked instead of applying first aid.

First thing I'd start is first aid, not scream. Not going to help much, that.

121, Id rather not panic in an actual emergency situation. Im sure it would be difficult to tell ketchup from blood with normal skin tone of your daughter within the time it takes one to panic.

Granted it was a prank but being able to asses a situation then go about things from there seems to be better. In such a situation getting your child help instead of crying about it would be top priority. Not to be the bearer of bad news but everyone dies, we just don't like knowing it happens to children.

the immense amount of stupidity on this thread makes me want to stick a railroad spike in my eye. who's going to think their 5 year old is smart enough to make fake blood and play dead?

This really got out of hand quickly. I thoroughly enjoyed that though. All I really wanted to say was 1. In agreement with the other person ketchup and blood are easily discernable. Especially in larger quantities. 2. Panic in any situation is totally useless. Think about the number of situations in your life have been solved with panic. Don't give the crap about "well when you have kids it's different". For some people it certainly is different. But it doesn't have to be. I'm sure panic has never helped those children. (Except for this little girl who got a great laugh from her mother's panic.)

TwoOneFive 11

Defiantly agree with you^

I didn't mean that I'd panic and totally lose it, obviously panicking can often lead to a more severe situation.

You wouldn't fucking care what is blood and whats not if your child is lying on the ground looking dead!

142, I never said that. If you're talking to someone else, then just ignore my comment lol.

You would care "what's blood and what's not", you idiot. If it WAS blood- holyshit: get help. If it was ketchup- beat the shit out of your kid for scaring you like that. You're freaking dumb.

THAT escalated quickly.

SailorSolaris 43

Not really. I've made the same mistake, and I'm no mom.

I have to say, I do love a good prank. Cruel, yes. Well done, for sure.

Sounds like an awesome home to grow up in. A family that pranks together well is always looking over there shoulder

What a waste of ketchup!

Troll kids strike again.

She has the makings of a successful actress; you should be proud.

Or a successful hotdog.

Give her a cupcake that changes their pee color. Tell her her bladder is failing.

She's five, will she even know what a bladder is?

Well then, say "Well honey, looks like you really are dying."

Red food coloring in the shower head after letting them stay up watching scary movies

Tigerblossom 19

Just wait for April fools day...

Yup, I see a lot of future mini heart attacks coming OPs way. I hope she has a strong heart.

ciumegu 6

Her childhood is going to cause you a lot of dispair

This calls for revenge. Surely your son has a vast stash of porn on his computer- find it, erase it all, and replace it with pictures of Grandma. He won't speak to you for a year, but it'll be worth it.

#9 has this happened to you before?

No, but I'm a parent and I WAS a teenage boy once, so I know all the tricks.

Sadly when I was a boy there was no Internet porn. I did however find that someone had put Field and Stream back into the F and S covers that were under the bed.

No!!! Not the porn!!! The porn is innocent in all this.

Who saves porn when there are free streaming websites?

People who are concerned about the Internet dropping out.

I would've countered by yelling for my son to go get the shovel.

that would have been epic!

Except the mom didn't know it was a prank until the kid laughed