Today, I was notified of card fraud. As I was on the phone with the fraud department to take out any cash I could, the ATM ate my card and shredded it. The chip in my other card stopped working last week. I'm in Sweden until December and I have no money until October 1st. FML
by tjmtjm / 09/19/2016 at 1:47pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Money
baxeh's comment : Im in sweden OP, let me know if i can help!
Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself since they last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML
by thickly / 09/19/2016 at 1:31pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
Today, my wife announced she had a sexy surprise for me. Turns out she got a Brazilian wax, which is a huge turn-off for me. Not only could I not get it up, I got to hear all about how much her last boyfriend loved it. FML.
by HairToStay / 09/19/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
AC98's comment : She tried to do something for you because she thought you'd like it op. But at least now she knows you're not into that
Today, I screamed at a taxi driver to not run over a hedgehog. He got a fright and ended up pulling over. I hopped out and ran to the middle of the road to pick up the hedgehog and leave him on the grass by the path. As I got closer and went to pick up said hedgehog, I realised it was a pinecone. FML
by simpleasjam / 09/19/2016 at 10:27am / United Kingdom (Sutton) / Animals
TheBiggerBoot's comment : You're an idiot. I'm sorry, but easily could have caused a wreck.
by Anonymous / 09/19/2016 at 10:03am / United States / Work
Today, I finally have a job I love with amazing people I call family and a fantastic boss. I've been here 8 months, and I'm doing a great job, I feel like I could work here forever! My most recent project? Printing our "Store closing sale" signs for liquidation. We permanently close in 7 weeks. FML
by mischalucksux / 09/19/2016 at 9:54am / United States / Work
by Gas-pingForAir / 09/19/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my mouth blue. I then asked the make-up artist why they didn’t do more : "You’re so pale it looks like you’re already dead". FML
Today, my girlfriend contacted me. She said she'd thought over her feelings over our temporary break in the relationship, and she wanted to try again. Being my stupid, self-loathing self, I asked her so many questions on if she was sure or not that she went back into doubt and revoked the offer. FML
Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As I was leaving the lady stuck her fist out towards me. After a seconds awkward pause I thought she wanted to fist-bump so stuck mine out and bumped. Turned out she was handing me the key. FML
by Krystl / 09/18/2016 at 12:35pm / Australia / Work