by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 6:13pm / United States (Texas) / Love
socialproduct's comment : Some of the best surprises I've ever pulled off involved pretending to be oblivious. Hope this was the case in your situation. But maybe I'm just an optimist.
Today, I told the cute girl in my office that she looked like she listened to country music, as an icebreaker. She blankly stared at me for what felt like forever, and responded with, "That's the worst thing you could say to a person," and walked away. She hasn't talked to me since. FML
by Crushgonewrong / 06/22/2016 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work
kristinjeaneen's comment : Well I kind of agree. Telling someone they "look like the kind of person who..." could easily be taken offensively.
Today, I was in a clothing store with my girlfriend. I saw the ugliest hat ever on a hat shelf, tried it on and said to my girlfriend, "Look at this ugly hat, it's absolutely horrible. It's even dirty." An old woman stood next to me said, "Well no wonder it's ugly, it's mine." FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 5:15pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
socialproduct's comment : "No wonder it's ugly, it's mine". Does anyone else think this old lady sounds pretty awesome?
Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML
by Sammmmi / 06/22/2016 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Miscellaneous
by Reek / 06/22/2016 at 10:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 8:36am / Hungary (Budapest) / Health
Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After looking into it, one of the 1-star ratings claimed "mechanical problems". The description of the reason, "He drives a Ford." FML
by darkangel7410 / 06/22/2016 at 4:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonyme / 06/22/2016 at 1:15am / Switzerland (Geneve) / Love
by Booooolette / 06/22/2016 at 12:27am / France (Picardie) / Health
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2016 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by dancingqueef / 06/21/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health