Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

#21459605
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (5208)

On 08/23/2015 at 8:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

JohnnyKade's comment : Tip 1: Make sure your spotter isn't being distracted before you begin to lift. Tip 2: Don't take your gay friend to a gym where muscular men show off their bodies and expect him not to be distracted.

See all the comments →

Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML

#21459591
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (2039)

On 08/23/2015 at 6:22am - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Georgia)

PandaSmile's comment : That person is not your friend

See all the comments →

Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

igg125's comment : I have never heard of that trick. Looks like it doesn't work.

See all the comments →

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
161 comments

Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML

Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tazed. FML

#21459236
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19534) - you deserved it (5704)

On 08/22/2015 at 8:21am - work - by BryanTazed - United States (Virginia)

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

#21459211
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27709) - you deserved it (1777)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:47am - health - by period pains - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

#21459209
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19590) - you deserved it (6949)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:18am - intimacy - by fuck no (woman) - India (Kerala)

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. I can't believe I married this neurotic wreck. FML

#21459202
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21422) - you deserved it (3959)

On 08/22/2015 at 5:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which my girlfriend gave birth to a litter of puppies. I can't even look at her now without getting nauseous. FML

#21459180
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21787) - you deserved it (2589)

On 08/22/2015 at 3:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered "Fucking tryhard." FML

#21459168
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (2926)

On 08/22/2015 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my coworker called me a liar when I said I've been to New York. This is the same psycho who honestly expects me to believe that she and Brad Pitt have a "thing" and that he secretly communicates with her through interviews on TV. FML

#21459151
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (1546)

On 08/22/2015 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

#21459115
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23945) - you deserved it (3359)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm - love - by cuckoo (man) - United States (Alabama)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: