Today, I took my 9-year-old sister to an ice cream shop. There we met a boy about her age, who started a conversation with her, told her she was pretty and they ended up exchanging numbers. I'm 24 and so far I've never succeeded at getting a girl's number like this. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2016 at 6:30am / Ukraine / Love
zeffra13's comment : Home number or cell? I hope a 9 year old doesn't have a cell phone for anything but emergency calls.
by Shitty day / 05/24/2016 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Animals
aedar's comment : I have to ask, was it one of the kids or one of the monkeys?
Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML
by anonymous / 05/23/2016 at 11:41pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I discovered the art of Malagasy compliments. My taxi driver made an unexpected stop in a small village. When I asked the reason for this, he responded, “We’re waiting for my wife, she’s fat just like you. I love fat women.” FML
Today, I started dating my best friend, who is Hispanic. I told my family the good news and all my father had to say to me was, "I will allow you to date him, but you should really think about settling with someone your own kind." FML
by Carrie_Chaos / 05/23/2016 at 4:16pm / United States (California) / Love
ctosc's comment : so.. a girl?
Today, it was my second day working as a cashier in a drug store. I thought everything went great, but by the end of my shift, my cash register was $10 short. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad if on my first day it hadn't been $30 short. FML
by TheNewCashierInTown / 05/23/2016 at 3:30pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work
Today, I was really happy because the guy I've been on a few dates with wanted to take pictures with me. I thought it'd meant that he really liked me, but it turns out he just wanted them so he could post them online and make his ex-girlfriend jealous. FML
by ReboundGrl / 05/23/2016 at 2:44pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML
by figcurzyez / 05/23/2016 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML
by gettinganF / 05/23/2016 at 7:57am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by WellThatSucks / 05/23/2016 at 5:15am / United States / Animals