Today, my family was watching a football game and kept mentioning their team's quarterback's name and, as I'm not a football fan by any means, asked them who this was. My grandma then turned to me and said, "This is why you don't have a boyfriend." FML
by anonymous / 12/01/2016 at 11:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of an unresolved issue, the dealership mistakenly reported the rental vehicle I'm using in the meantime as stolen. The police surrounded my work as I was meeting with a potential client. FML
by GTA_VI / 11/30/2016 at 8:02pm / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of time since I've been looking for a job. I got an e-mail yesterday from a company for a telephone interview which I was happy about. The day of the interview, my phone is disconnected. FML
by heaventlyassbutt / 11/30/2016 at 7:45am / United States (New York) / Work
egnur_mas's comment : I'm unsure why it took you 27 years to do this. I understand it can be embarrassing but in my mind it's even more embarrassing to have this happen to you during the day.
Today, I discovered that when my doctor said my new medication "may cause sensitivity to sunlight" what he meant was "sit in total darkness during the day or your skin will feel like its burning off." FML
Today, the girl I've liked for over a year, broke up with me after just 2 weeks of dating, all because I'm a better pianist then her. I've been playing since I was 8. She's been playing for 6 months. FML
by betterpianist / 11/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States / Love
Today, I've been working abroad. The holiday request I put in two months ago and that was verbally approved came back denied today as they can't find cover. I have already booked my flights, can't cancel them, and I get to spend Christmas alone. FML
by chessu / 11/29/2016 at 1:47pm / Work
Today, I learned that my boss is training one the the trainees I trained to be supervisor. Everyone supports this, including me. So what's the issue? I was promised that position almost 2 years ago. Apparently, I train people well enough to promote, but I'm not good enough to be promoted myself. FML
Today, I'm facing a disciplinary hearing at work because I occasionally fail to click the door properly shut when I leave the office and this is very upsetting to one of the six colleagues I share my office with. FML
Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML
by Sleepless Dreams / 11/28/2016 at 11:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by HR nightmare / 12/02/2016 at 12:20am / United States (Arizona) / Work
ber4fun's comment : As far as I know one cannot decline being fired. Mail him his last paycheck and you probably don't have to worry about seeing him again because, if he hasn't been showing up for work he definitely won't now.
Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both whispered, "Sorry." Our teacher promptly gave us detention and a 0% on the test for talking. Sorry for being sorry? FML
by Sorry? / 12/01/2016 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
coolmike699's comment : Some people go into teaching because they actually want to educate people and help their minds grow. Some people go into teaching because they're authoritarian shitbirds who just want an excuse to bully students.
Today, my 4-month-old puppy made a break for it as soon as I opened the front door. I had to run after her barefoot, in just my dressing gown. It was raining. I fell over, forgot to break my fall and skidded along the unsurfaced road. She came back on her own while I was was laid on the floor. FML
by ouch / 12/01/2016 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Animals
- Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck… Today, after asking my manager how his day was going he explained that he stopped drinking and was… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling…