Today, while trying to go to sleep, I could hear snoring from my boyfriend's side of the bed. I'm not sure who was louder, him or the dog. FML

by Angsty_Armadillo / 06/28/2016 at 5:36am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm stuck in a ramshackle house that my aunt bought and moved everyone out to. Only one bathroom works, and she won't let us flush it because the house keeps flooding. Four people are stuck here with just one toilet filled with poop and urine, while she's been staying at a friend's house. FML

by queenariii / 06/28/2016 at 1:55am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Branessa9611's comment : Just keep using the bathrooms, including the one that's broken, until she gets back. Then she'll have to deal with the consequences of her absence.

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Today, as a dentist, I was performing simple tooth extraction when I realized that the X-ray was flipped the wrong way the whole time. I had to lie to the patient that the tooth that I accidently extracted needed to go as well. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 12:25am / Malaysia (Perak) / Work

EwahWeeWah's comment : Moron, tell the patient what you did and if you get sued then it's your fault and just accept it. People pay for that shit, they deserve a refund and your screwed them over.

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Today, I had the great pleasure of meeting my replacement, who was sitting at my desk in my office. My boss must've forgotten to mention to me that I've been fired. FML

by Anyonehiring / 06/27/2016 at 9:05pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I invited my friends to meet up at the park. After asking twice, I finally got the text saying to meet them there. But when I got there, I realized they had already been there for a while. As I was walking up to them, I heard, "Why did you invite him?" FML

by cavallo31 / 06/27/2016 at 8:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous

StormfrontX33's comment : Count how many people were present there. That's how many people you need to tell to go fuck themselves.

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Today, my six-year-old daughter organized a treasure hunt… for our cat. She hid the contents of an entire bag of cat food all around the house. FML

by seatle girl / 06/27/2016 at 8:43pm / France (Picardie) / Kids

Today, I waved money at a passing ice cream truck and it kept going. So apparently I can't even get a date with a Sno Cone. FML

by Scottie Too Hottie / 06/27/2016 at 6:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, after being constipated a few days, I used the restroom at a bar. It took a loooong time before I got out. As I went to exit the bar, only the employees were still there, waiting for me because they had closed 30 minutes ago. FML

by RosaMaravillosa / 06/27/2016 at 2:09pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that without fail, even if I'm not supposed to get it, I get my period just in time for vacations. FML

by hellolaina / 06/27/2016 at 12:33pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, an old friend of mine refused to go to a movie with me. Turns out he was sitting in front of me with my girlfriend. FML

by WhatALoserAmI / 06/27/2016 at 12:08pm / India (Madhya Pradesh) / Miscellaneous

Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML

by lunarclips / 06/27/2016 at 10:08am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, a piece of candy thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower broke one the frames of my glasses. FML

by Ina / 03/22/2009 at 5:52am / France

Today, while at the airport with a cast on my leg, I fell backwards onto my suitcase. My family was too busy to notice my squirming as I tried to get up, so a kind woman awkwardly helped me off the ground. Later on, I found out my dad saw me but thought someone would help me "soon enough." FML

by kqwarrior / 06/26/2016 at 11:46pm / United States (California) / Transportation