Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

#21434324
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (5146)

On 06/30/2015 at 11:33am - work - by AIienware -

Cads1's comment : You should not have to foot the bill on that.

See all the comments →

Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML

#21434280
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (6446)

On 06/30/2015 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

#21434251
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23551) - you deserved it (1939)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML

#21434226
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23704) - you deserved it (1495)

On 06/30/2015 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

StormGirl142's comment : At least you know he cares enough not to let you die, I guess. Hope you're okay.

See all the comments →

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

#21434188
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22445) - you deserved it (1745)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Airshock22's comment : I've heard of a language barrier before, but not a language revolving door.

See all the comments →

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22867) - you deserved it (1457)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

#21433911
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21807) - you deserved it (1555)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm - work - by Greattitan2 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was legitimately sick so I called in to work. Apparently, 4 other guys on my line called in too. My boss thought we planned it. Now we're all written up. FML

#21433907
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22077) - you deserved it (1248)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Justincredible69 (man) - United States

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML

#21433819
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24146) - you deserved it (1805)

On 06/29/2015 at 1:30pm - love - by rinakitty94 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML

#21433696
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23656) - you deserved it (2842)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:28am - love - by sleepingonmydesk (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was called a selfish brat for asking for a pillow as my birthday present. FML

#21433680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (1780)

On 06/29/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by youdontknowmewhy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found an unfamiliar ring in my purse. Thinking it was fake, I gave it to a little girl. Thanks to my mother, I later found out that the ring was my grandmother's and it was made of gold and had a real ruby. My mother added that my grandmother trusted me to keep it in our family. FML

#21433516
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17469) - you deserved it (26887)

On 06/28/2015 at 10:02pm - kids - by AddictiveAddicted - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: