Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML
Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
hannahgreely 14
thank god you broke up with her though, imagine having him as a father in law!
Demixie 14
If you don't actually own a gun and can prove it(i.e Allowing the police to search your possessions), threaten to file misconduct and also report the false call.
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Comments (81)
DogeMan 14
That really sucks, better luck next time :)
Crossing 17
It sucks just like doges... God I hate those things.
Khaleesi_26 30
It sucks like your comment.
biasedshooter 24
I guess he's gunning for you now
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
Cue rimshot
thepelvicwoo 8
That was a cheap "shot". lol
hannahgreely 14
thank god you broke up with her though, imagine having him as a father in law!
thedeej 10
Damn that's shit. Sorry to hear OP! I'm wondering if your neighbour was crazy was his daughter crazy as well?
DBKT 25
Judging by OPs username, I reckon it's probable! :)
shine999 12
Maybe that's why he broke up with her.
Demixie 14
If you don't actually own a gun and can prove it(i.e Allowing the police to search your possessions), threaten to file misconduct and also report the false call.
sirpantselot 22
I feel like if he didn't own one, he would have mentioned it. Is that presumptuous?
junkman6 22
Cops won't listen if you say you don't own one. You have to prove you don't own one. Guilty until proven innocent in these kinds of cases. But the neighbor can be in deep shit for a false police report. I dunno about where OP lives but here in California the police can pretty much send you a bill to the tune of 250$ per officer for false police reports. That's considered a "minimal" punishment.
Bragi 12
No, you have it backward. To charge, they have to prove that he has one and brandished it. That would mean having the neighbor describe it to some degree and the cops getting a warrant and finding it.
Tthug 34
Never let the cops search without your lawyer present and while filming them. Better to get taken to the station where they have nothing on you besides the moron that called the cops. Pisses me off that assholes do stupid shit like this. Cops do have real problems to attend to. Coulda cost someone their life.
Demixie 14
Well when filing misconduct you generally should have a lawyer aid you. If he does own a gun they still need to prove he had it in his possession and did threaten violence with it before they can legally confine him. So he still has grounds for misconduct if they did take him to the station for more than questioning which would have to be voluntary on OPs part without reasonable grounds.
junkman6 22
#32 what's "proper law" and what's the "right" way to handle this are completely different. If cops didn't take these types of accusations seriously there would be a lot of problems. Here's a fine little example of how stupid innocent until proven guilty is in this situation. Person A "person B threatened me with a gun." Cop asks person B "do you have a gun?" Person B "nope." Cop "ok have a nice day." Cop drives away person B shoots person A now the cop is a bastard because he didn't do "his job." So yeah you're guilty until proven innocent in these cases and that's the smart way to do it. You can break it down and probably sue the pants off the police department either way so it's no win for cops but I personally think "better safe than sorry" applies here. This is why person A can be in such deep shit.
the_real_dvd 21
Never let the cops search your house or any property. Justice is a business. Cops don't get paid for the truth, they get paid for arrests. Besides, just because you can prove you don't own a gun NOW, that doesn't prove you never made a threat.
Demixie 14
They still can't arrest you without reasonable grounds. If they could, than false reports would be far more common. They cannot legally just take anyone's word for it and arrest someone unless they feel they are acting in good faith and have gone through proper procedure (Pat downs, obtaining search warrants, etc). If they didn't, then misconduct can still be filed on OPs part.
junkman6 22
I don't think you know how easy it is to hide a gun. I'd rather cops play it smart on shit like this and then just slam the person making false police reports once everything is cleared up. Which they do in my experience and I'm glad they use common sense over a blind adherence to flawed laws. But this argument is a lost cause so I'll give up. No way in hell could a cops actions ever be correct on the internet. Also we must blindly follow Americas flawed law system even when it can potentially put people at greater risk.
Demixie 14
Police actions and the law are two seperate things, really. If that wasn't obvious from the case in Ferguson. I'm not saying the police are right or wrong in OPs case. They don't specify if it was questioning or detainment, or if it's detainment with police enacting good faith. From the information given, OP can threaten to file for misconduct in order to gain proof of a false report and turn the interaction onto the neighbor.
badluckalex 23
I hate cops
sarah5745 41
If someone close to you was close to getting murdered or was being assaulted and a cop saved him/her, I doubt you'd be hating them then
weveallbeenthere 30
until you need one to save you or a family member.
Puffytruffles 18
They were doing their jobs, what's so bad about that?
jbgillas 5
If you don't like cops... Next time you need help, call a crackhead.
Bragi 12
Which is about as common as shark attack.
laden_swallow09 35
Well, golly jeepers, gee willikers! I wonder why on earth they'd hate you, a shining example of a model citizen? Shut your face, dumbass. You and your ilk.
KingSplatter 9
Cops don't PREVENT any crimes, they simply RESPOND to "crimes" that already allegedly happened. Even then, more often than not they just take down a statement and tell you they will be in touch and that's the last you hear from them...until they pull you over and ticket you for a bogus infraction.
PeopleLikeGrapes 12
Yea #55, no cop has EVER stopped a gunman or prevented car crashes by stopping drunk drivers..... Oh wait, they have.
ChristianH39 30
55, you might not realize how many crimes are actually prevented.... because they were prevented.
ARetardedSeal 24
The dad sounds really messed up, I wonder what he would do if a dude ever divorced his daughter
cadillacgal79 32
Probably do the threatnin' himself.
filterpiece23 17
He should've claimed you had Ebola. Frickin cops and Ambulances would've been over there ASAP
ARetardedSeal 24
A major shitstorm lol
Scarylizard1798 23
Aaaaaaand u gotta move
lord_meloetta 20
Sorry, I had a neighbor once that called the cops that I was having a loud party with flashing lights because my garage lights where on.