FML : Your everyday life stories

Funniest FMLs of the Day

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When a coworker tries to help

Hold my beer!

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Lewis - / Sunday 20 January 2019 00:30 /

Today, I yelled "fuck me, oh shit!" on instinct upon accidentally spilling boiling hot coffe all over myself. My 3 year old niece found this hilarious and won't stop saying "fuck my shit". Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML

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You deserved it

By ... - / Sunday 20 January 2019 00:00 /

Today I was working Christmas Day by myself, I was supposed to have 2 coworkers with me but they were in storage having sex multiple times for nearly 3 hours, yes 3, and I know this because I got so mad I was checking security cameras to try find them, and there they were on camera. 3 HOURS FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 19 January 2019 20:00 /

How I feel at the kid's table

But mooooom! I'm a grown man!

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By Lewis - / Saturday 19 January 2019 19:00 / France - Paris

Today I was being kinky for my boyfriend by going commando at his Xmas party. Trust me to get my period 10 days early in a WHITE skirt, then as I rushed to the toilet I fell and the seam split right up my ass, so his family including 3 nephews got an uncensored look at the whole mess FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 19 January 2019 18:00 /

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

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You deserved it

By TCRII - / Saturday 19 January 2019 16:00 /

Today, I stopped and helped a young lady stuck on the side of the road. Guess who got accused of forcing myself and got charged with impersonating a police officer. FML

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You deserved it

By CJ 84 - / Saturday 19 January 2019 14:00 /

Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even fit close to the description of the suspect. FML

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You deserved it

By "Boyufd" / Saturday 19 January 2019 12:00 /

Today I discovered my wife has had another afair. It gets thrown in my face and somehow its all my fault. My friends all tell me to get the hell out and I dont because I still love her. This is completely fucked. FML

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You deserved it

By OnePersonMarriage - / Saturday 19 January 2019 04:00 /

Today my parents got my husband and I a new electric fireplace for Christmas. My husband set it up.. I sent a picture and a video of the new fireplace all set up to both my parents. There was a dildo in all the picture and videos I sent.......

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By asky666 / Saturday 19 January 2019 02:00 /

When my boss enters the room

I work better under pressure

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You deserved it

By Lewis - / Saturday 19 January 2019 00:30 / France - Paris

Today, all I wanted for Christmas was sex with my wife. I even would have enjoyed just getting a kiss and squeezing her bum. Nope, I got a sweater, FML.

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You deserved it

By Anonymous / Friday 18 January 2019 20:00 /

Mother Nature fights back

Nature is no joke

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You deserved it

By Lewis - / Friday 18 January 2019 19:00 / France - Paris

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me on Christmas. FML

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You deserved it

By Lonely Soul BP - / Friday 18 January 2019 10:00 / United States - Philadelphia

Today is Christmas, I spent over 600 dollars on presents for the wife...didn’t get a single present from her...FML

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You deserved it

By Ryan - / Friday 18 January 2019 14:00 /

Today, on Christmas, I received the gift of lice. I have already pulled 7 out of my hair and counting. FML

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You deserved it

By "Levi2411" / Friday 18 January 2019 12:00 /

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me on Christmas, via text. I spent all my money on gifts for her and couldn't get anyone else in my family gifts. Included were nonrefundable New Year's Eve tickets for a concert I can no longer attend. FML.

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You deserved it

By joemama8933 - / Friday 18 January 2019 04:00 /

Today after weeks of couples therapy my wife finally broke down and admitted that not only is she not in love with me, she’s also not even remotely attracted to me. When I asked why she married me in the first place she said “you were a nice guy and I felt bad saying no”. Fml

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By now what - / Thursday 17 January 2019 19:00 / United States - Madison

Today, I accidentally saw my boyfriend's sexts to a guy he's friends with. He's been turning me down for sex for months. FML.

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You deserved it

By UnwantedDisappointment - / Friday 18 January 2019 00:00 /

Today, my friend lied about me in school and successfully ruined my reputation at the point where no one would sit with me. FML.

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You deserved it

By Bwitch - / Thursday 17 January 2019 20:00 /

Today. . . At 27 years old I learned that the Pacific Ocean is in fact salt water. I was taught that the Atlantic was salt and the Pacific fresh. This happened at my BFs family Christmas dinner. FML

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You deserved it

By Artemis - / Thursday 17 January 2019 18:00 /

Today, it's Christmas morning and we walk out to our brand new car that we have owned for two days and someone decided to egg our car...FML

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You deserved it

By / Thursday 17 January 2019 16:00 /

Today, me and my boyfriend had our first Christmas together. After insisting on him to open his gifts first and watching his face light up, I then unwrapped a box of One-A-Day Multivitamins. He gave me multivitamins for Christmas. FML.

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You deserved it

By "Elisabeth Marie Norman" - / Thursday 17 January 2019 12:00 /

Today, I have had 4 nosebleeds. 4 of them, full-on, almost passing out nosebleeds. It's only noon. I think I need to see a doctor. FML

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You deserved it

By "MarchingNightmare" / Wednesday 16 January 2019 22:00 / United States - Hendersonville

Today I'm sitting at home alone because I'm not welcome at my dad's house for Christmas dinner. My identical twin sister, who lives with me, is more than welcome. FML.

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You deserved it

By LonelyOnChristmas - / Thursday 17 January 2019 02:00 /

Today, I realized that my mom talks to me with the exact same tone of voice she uses for my little cousin. I’m 23 and my cousin is 2. FML

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You deserved it

By mettaton - / Thursday 17 January 2019 00:00 /

Today, I got trapped in the airport lift for half an hour with my family while heading to departure. We ended up missing our flight. 3000 Malaysian bucks were spent on that flight. No one wants to compensate our loss. FML

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You deserved it

By - / Wednesday 16 January 2019 20:00 /

Today, due to poor planning and a number of undesireable coincidences, Ive been stuck in an airport alone 1,500 miles from home on Christmas day. FML

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You deserved it

By "gmanbuilder" - / Wednesday 16 January 2019 12:00 / United States

Today, my sister gave our father marijuana for Christmas. FML.

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You deserved it

By "733yoda" / Wednesday 16 January 2019 08:00 / United States - Lynbrook

Today, for the first time ever, I was able to have a good hair day without blow drying it or using product. Or so I thought. The first words my mom spoke to me when I came downstairs were “Go fix your hair.” FML

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By queenmabby / Wednesday 16 January 2019 12:00 /

FML

Nearly

Today, I had been feeling very ill, so I asked my partner to clean the house whilst I got some rest. Instead of touching any of the cleaning, he gamed...

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Today, my dad told me that my trip to London (to visit him) has been cancelled due to 'work issues'. My departure was scheduled the day after tomorrow...

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You deserved it

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World

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Canada

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Australia

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

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Photos

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Spicy

Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year...

I agree, your life sucks

Phew, glad it wasn't me

Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML

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You deserved it

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