Weirdest FMLs of the Day Most Commented FMLs of the Day

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. They prepared dinner for us - mushroom pasta. I have always hated mushrooms, so I spent the entire dinner trying not to gag. Unfortunately, I did gag and my mom got up and smacked me so hard I fell out of my chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By aeris - / Sunday 11 November 2018 09:30 / United States

Today, I was babysitting for a friend who develops software. After the baby was asleep, I was watching anime on my iPad. Turns out he created an app that alerts his phone whenever potential adult content streams through his internet. It was just an anime, but he's convinced I was watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Katz - / Sunday 11 November 2018 14:00 /

Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By anonymous - / Sunday 11 November 2018 13:30 /

Today, to get back at me for our recent breakup, my ex put a "9/11 was an inside job!" bumper sticker on my car. I work for the government in New York City, and I just got a text saying that my manager wants to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Jamie - / Sunday 11 November 2018 05:00 / United States

Today, my ex-wife, who I have a 1000-yard restraining order against since she threatened my new wife and our kids, moved into a house down the street. The police say they can't do anything because her house is more than 1000 yards from mine. It's 1012 yards away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Sunday 11 November 2018 05:00 /

World

Canada

Today, I accidentally opened my dad's sex tape. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By traumatized - / Saturday 10 November 2018 21:00 / Canada - Joliette

Weekend Routine

If only this could last forever...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Videos - / Saturday 10 November 2018 18:00 / United States - New York

Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 10 November 2018 22:00 /

Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how 2 girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend says "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he said, he hesitantly added "...if I was single." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By ActuallyDoneFor - / Saturday 10 November 2018 10:30 / Canada - Saint Albert

Here Are The Top 10 Comments Of The Week!

Another week, another top comment list. See if you made the cut!

By Chairman Meow - / Saturday 10 November 2018 17:35 /

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 10 November 2018 15:30 /

Today, while dreaming, I was thirsty and grabbed a glass of water to drink. The taste was so horrible that it caused me to wake up and realize I was drinking the isopropyl alcohol I keep on my nightstand for my CPAP machine. All Poison Control had to say was, "Uh oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

emeraldapostle Say more :

Hey all, OP here. I'm fine, and Poison Control helped me out after saying, "uh oh." Now I keep my isopropyl somewhere besides my nightstand

By emeraldapostle - / Saturday 10 November 2018 14:26 /

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By HagFag - / Saturday 10 November 2018 14:00 /

Today, my sister got fired and I got promoted to her job, got a nice payrise for it. My relationship with my sister will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 10 November 2018 13:30 /

Today, I saw my boyfriend coming up the walkway to our home. When I opened the door to greet him with a huge smile on my face, he scowled at me and angrily said, "I don't know why you have to do that!" Smile gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Lexy - / Saturday 10 November 2018 12:00 /

World

Belgium

Today, in bed, my wife took her vibrator and started masturbating. Feeling excited, I went down to help her. She told me to knock it off 'cause she couldn't focus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By BackedOff - / Saturday 10 November 2018 05:00 / Belgium

Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple times after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Detroitman125 - / Saturday 10 November 2018 03:00 /

Short Struggles

They try so hard!

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Videos - / Saturday 10 November 2018 00:30 /

Dutch Man Wants To Legally Change Age

He hopes it will make his life (and his Tinder results) much better.

By Gloria Borger - / Friday 9 November 2018 23:46 /

Today, I received an email from a shipping company telling me they had dropped off a package of expensive electronics at the front door. Too bad someone stole it before I made it to the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Isoneedtomove - / Friday 9 November 2018 16:00 / United States

Leaving Work

Nothing to see here! Don't mind me!

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Videos - / Friday 9 November 2018 18:30 /

Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Xandar - / Friday 9 November 2018 17:30 /

Tourist Complains About Vietnamese Shower, But It's Not A Shower

You're doing it wrong, dude!

By Gloria Borger - / Friday 9 November 2018 10:54 / United States - New York

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call for an interview. Right in the middle of the call, my phone hung up so the music app could open. I tried calling them back and got no response. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By unemployed - / Friday 9 November 2018 15:30 /

Today, I developed a roll of film I'd had sitting around for years. It was all images my ex had taken of him scrubbing his ass and toilet with my electric toothbrush, which I'd used for at least a month after our breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Lisa - / Friday 9 November 2018 07:00 / United States - Sedalia

Today, during my yearly review, I was told by my boss that mistakes in my paperwork will be investigated by our company legal team. He also said, "Think of them as the TV or movie version of Internal Affairs" and said I would be considered "guilty until proven innocent." I can't afford to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By GottaGetOuttaHere - / Friday 9 November 2018 13:30 /

Today, I'm on a pill that "may cause breast tenderness". My 32E breasts took that to mean swell up a size, become heavy as lead, be so sore I can't move without a bra on, and stiffen my neck and back muscles so badly I thought I had an ear infection. This will last "a few weeks to months". FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Beewwwbs - / Friday 9 November 2018 19:00 / Australia - Wembley

World

Bulgaria

Today, my girlfriend and I went hiking in the mountains. She didn't tell me that she had packed meat to cook in my bag. About two hours after we set out, a wolf attacked me but I pepper sprayed it and it ran off. After that my girlfriend looked at me and said "You didn't have to hurt the doggy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Friday 9 November 2018 04:00 / Bulgaria - Plovdiv

Sports Struggles

Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something!

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Videos - / Friday 9 November 2018 01:30 /

Dead Brothel Owner Wins Nevada Election

We can't believe we're not making this up.

By Gloria Borger - / Friday 9 November 2018 00:31 /

Game Ranking

End of game in

Zombie

#	Nickname	Bites
1	whatshername?!	126
2	im365sostressed	7
3	CaseyR	4
4	CamiLois	0
5	gnomesrox4	0
6	NeuroticByChoice	0
7	7846239	0
8	DeadLegBo	0
9	junfitz	0
10	DarkestNightmare	0
#	Total	137

vampire

#	Nickname	Bites
1	newbiemalestr8	1904
2	BadAtPuns	1198
3	Ashamed_Sister	687
4	abigiggles	220
5	hellsingthecreator93	183
6	Dave_Davington	134
7	EclipticaLibra	119
8	Vaella	81
9	Callyn	47
10	xsandra	45
#	Total	4892

werewolf

#	Nickname	Bites
1	Taurus_ChicKa	50
2	thisisbutaname	24
3	ЗАБЕРИТЕ 12 000 РУБ ЗДЕСЬ www.mnogodenegm.gq gJCUT	0
4	Emmaz1098	0
5	Redinjun1	0
6	olieder1990_fml	0
7	crazychica97	0
8	Canadiangrown	0
9	xluvr	0
10	hotbuns95	0
#	Total	74