By badizzle - 15/9/2019 22:00 Helmut Newton strikes back Today, my art teacher fawned over my friend's photographs of random children and people making out, while she called my picture of an old man looking thoughtful on a pier "creepy" and "voyeuristic." FML I agree, your life sucks 1245 You deserved it 88 29 0 48 11 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DogStew - 15/9/2019 20:00 Pumped-up Tanks Today, at work I had to spend 2 hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML I agree, your life sucks 502 You deserved it 1460 18 1 22 47 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mystic Alan - 15/9/2019 18:00 FML's Weekly Horoscope - 15th of September 2019 Find out what embarrassing stuff the dumbass stars and planets have in store for you this week! 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By littlelia - 15/9/2019 14:00 Mirror, mirror… Today, my fiance's mother asked him how he can be with someone with chronic pain for the rest of his life. She has chronic health problems too, but doesn't see how this is a hypocritical question. FML I agree, your life sucks 1284 You deserved it 84 65 3 25 6 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThisIsMyLife - 15/9/2019 12:00 Flowers (Nothing But) Today, I bought flowers with my groceries at the grocery store. After the cashier scanned them, he handed them back to me so they wouldn't get crushed in my cart. It was then that I realized he's the first man to ever hand me flowers. FML I agree, your life sucks 1263 You deserved it 179 37 5 9 81 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MIA - 15/9/2019 06:03 Today, on Maury… Today, my husband of four years finally told me he has an eight-year-old son. FML I agree, your life sucks 1689 You deserved it 125 13 3 159 15 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lonely - 15/9/2019 04:05 - Canada - Granby Saturday Night Fever-ish Today, I invited a bunch of friends over to hang out and watch a movie. It's been two hours since everyone was supposed to turn up, and no one has showed. Thanks, friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 1502 You deserved it 100 104 1 17 13 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oh, good - 15/9/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath Poor Mickey Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 1306 You deserved it 189 13 2 50 72 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouch - 15/9/2019 00:01 Scratch that Today, after 4 days of using anti-itch cream for what pharmacists and nurses have called “an allergic reaction”, I was diagnosed with shingles. FML I agree, your life sucks 1346 You deserved it 83 16 0 87 8 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Meowitzer - 14/9/2019 22:00 Classy Mom Today, I was elected "class mom", even though I didn’t want to do it. I was also handed several envelopes in the hectic school hallway, containing parental cash contributions for the year. I lost several of the envelopes while rushing to my car, and now have to contribute €100 instead of €25. FML I agree, your life sucks 1024 You deserved it 866 49 1 22 18 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/9/2019 20:00 It's only a bit of liquid fun, come on! Today, I asked the guy I'm dating if he could not drink on our next date, because he ends up drunk-driving every time. His response was, "This isn't working out." FML I agree, your life sucks 1455 You deserved it 247 22 2 76 30 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/9/2019 18:03 Protip Today, my endometriosis has reached stage 4 and has spread to many organs, including my colon. My constipation got so bad that my Apple Watch told me it was time to stand up. FML I agree, your life sucks 1513 You deserved it 74 28 1 87 20 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/9/2019 16:00 Dr House Today, I was trying to ease off a caffeine headache. I ended up getting a Brain Freeze. FML I agree, your life sucks 970 You deserved it 236 13 6 10 60 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/9/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Godalming TMI Today, I sent a photo of my flat to my mother to show her how tidy I’d made it. What I didn’t realise was that my lube and sex toys were also included in the photo of the bedroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 520 You deserved it 1779 7 2 11 159 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/9/2019 12:00 - Australia - Cairns Wrong place, right time Today, a co-worker came back from his honeymoon. He passed by my office to say hi, and mentioned, "I heard you're getting married next year?" I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. He's taking his things out of the house as I write this. FML I agree, your life sucks 1448 You deserved it 124 92 4 14 15 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/9/2019 06:01 Boundaries, dude! Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 1830 You deserved it 134 58 5 87 21 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/9/2019 04:01 - United States Try to do a nice thing… Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML I agree, your life sucks 1515 You deserved it 97 33 3 17 71 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lateralligator - 14/9/2019 02:02 Elvis has left the building Today, I realized I need to lose weight when I split my pants wide open while at my job directing a funeral, bowing to the casket in front of 200 silent devout attendees, during prayers. I picked that day to wear a red thong. FML I agree, your life sucks 1315 You deserved it 456 9 2 72 84 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/9/2019 00:02 - United Kingdom Scruffy 'erbert Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML I agree, your life sucks 1742 You deserved it 98 67 3 62 45 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pokeOww - 13/9/2019 22:00 Dash! Today, my brother thought it'd be hilarious to tease a group of Pokémon players. They thought it'd be hilarious to beat both our asses. FML I agree, your life sucks 851 You deserved it 1144 9 2 10 111 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gloria Lovestar - 13/9/2019 20:00 Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now Today, my husband explained that talking to me makes him miserable. FML I agree, your life sucks 1357 You deserved it 159 91 3 26 13 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alan - 13/9/2019 18:00 It's Friday the 13th: to Celebrate, here's 13 FMLs, Superstitions... and Black Cats! Why does Friday the 13th inspire so much superstition in so many people, while others don't even know what day it is? Why do we get... 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/9/2019 16:01 "At least you've got a job" - Mr. Missingthepoint Today, I drove an hour to work, did nothing for 8 hours, drove an hour back, and then studied for 4 hours. This has been happening for weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 1201 You deserved it 227 55 4 7 18 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FMLMaximus - 13/9/2019 14:00 Warranties don't cover kids, do they? Today, my two year-old fell with a toy in her hand. The TV isn't even paid off yet. FML I agree, your life sucks 871 You deserved it 324 12 1 61 12 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/9/2019 12:04 This ain't gonna end well Today, my partner of 5 years and I sat down to talk because I expressed hope for a proposal in near future. He instead believed that we should wait, and talk about a potential future for us in another two years. FML I agree, your life sucks 1304 You deserved it 215 65 1 23 15 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/9/2019 06:02 - Australia - Perth Ninja! Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 1518 You deserved it 78 13 0 84 29 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/9/2019 04:01 - United Kingdom - Bristol Corporate hell Today, I found out I didn't get the promotion I applied for. Then I was told I was the only one who applied for the job. FML I agree, your life sucks 1584 You deserved it 114 62 2 26 25 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nurse - 13/9/2019 02:01 - Norway Boing! Today, I was giving a patient an injection when I heard a cracking sound and the needle was gone. Panicking, I got a doctor to have a look. The patient was sent to have x-rays to find the needle in her thigh. I then noticed the springback system in the syringe. FML I agree, your life sucks 972 You deserved it 838 7 6 39 93 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/9/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin The Conversationalist Today, I was so bad at maintaining a conversation that the only way for the other guy to put up with me was to drink. He was the designated driver. He would rather risk drinking and driving than being sober around me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1068 You deserved it 277 52 3 6 34 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ooops - 12/9/2019 22:02 - Canada Baked Today, I kept smelling the pleasant odor of baking bread while driving around. Tonight, I realized that the smell of yeast was actually coming from a cup of moldy smoothie that got missed and left in a cup holder in the back of my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 1041 You deserved it 449 10 1 24 92 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today my girlfriend said that she’s pregnant but not to worry she’s getting rid of it since she’s sure it’s not mine. I’m not sure which part of her sentence... I agree, your life sucks 45 You deserved it 3 0 Comments
Today i was going to school when i walked out to see i had a flat so i put the spare on and thought all was good only to have the spare literally blow... I agree, your life sucks 8 You deserved it 1 0 Comments
Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 1170 You deserved it 41 8 Comments
Today, I sent a photo of my flat to my mother to show her how tidy I’d made it. What I didn’t realise was that my lube and sex toys were also included... I agree, your life sucks 520 You deserved it 1779 8 Comments
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