Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36307) - you deserved it (5153)
On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27579) - you deserved it (21631)
On 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm - work - by unknown - United States (Texas)
↑ Dave_Davington's comment : I have to say, if you're doing that sort of thing in public, you're an asshole. Next time, wait until you get home like everyone else.
Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46296) - you deserved it (2800)
On 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by GLHan (man) - United States (New York)
↑ inner_peace's comment : Sorry for your loss, OP. And an insensitive boss like that is a horrible one. I wish you and your family the best.
Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36217) - you deserved it (3907)
On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I awoke to the sound of a gunshot, followed by children screaming. I leapt out of bed and ran to my balcony, only to see people casually milling around the elementary school parking lot under a "Science Fair" banner. A kid's science experiment scared me shitless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29505) - you deserved it (3247)
On 03/07/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by gracehi (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31600) - you deserved it (15417)
On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35083) - you deserved it (2698)
On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34057) - you deserved it (3299)
On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)
Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (7265)
On 03/07/2014 at 10:41am - misc - by scaredypants123 - United States
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's mom. She was driving us to a theme park that was about 2 hours away. She asked for the address to put into the GPS, so I gave it to her. It turned out to be a farm, an hour away from the park. So much for good first impressions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31157) - you deserved it (7135)
On 03/07/2014 at 8:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (4144)
On 03/06/2014 at 11:24pm - kids - by xtinasky1 - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (7266)
On 03/06/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I thought I'd finally finished the special project my boss gave me of changing the eligibility details on several hundred loans. My coworker later pointed out that the document was the same as it had been hours before, and that the changes I made hadn't saved at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34482) - you deserved it (6041)
On 03/06/2014 at 11:24am - work - by workaholic (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 7 March 2014
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↑ jgmarines's comment : Sounds like urine a lot of trouble
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