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Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#21522820
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16880) - you deserved it (1636)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

AyeJay101's comment : Take some credit! You're pumping some good ideas into her ;)

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Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML

#21522776
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18380) - you deserved it (3091)

On 02/04/2016 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by doodlecrzyMeg (woman) - United States (Illinois)

nonsensical's comment : That was terrible of him to do to you, yet at the same time if he's not supposed to have girls spending the night in his room (as he is still living under his parents' roof), you 2 probably should've found a different place or simply not do it... The time will come when you will have your freedom!

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Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

#21522725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18475) - you deserved it (1377)

On 02/04/2016 at 10:16am - animals - by uninvited (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

stryder9090's comment : Then say no

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Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

#21522719
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (1272)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:53am - intimacy - by concernedsis - United States (Georgia)

Today, after being told numerous times how sexist the East Coast is, I went ahead with my East Coast grad school architecture interview. The first thing out of the interviewer's mouth was, "Are you sure you don't want to do interior architecture?" FML

#21522710
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19086) - you deserved it (2463)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:13am - work - by LL (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

#21522623
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (1457)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:59pm - health - by FueledByFate - United States (Arizona)

Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

#21522618
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18455) - you deserved it (1602)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:47pm - misc - by InDebt (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (1421)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (1912)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (3741)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the tram with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML

#21522467
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16427) - you deserved it (1972) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/03/2016 at 10:44am - misc - by DieuEstUnHomme (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

#21522398
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (3332)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:40am - intimacy - by :x (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

#21522391
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18818) - you deserved it (1238)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



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