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Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

#21414880
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you deserved it (2041)

On 05/24/2015 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

MELKOZAR's comment : Somebody has been eating too much asshole.

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Today, I felt pretty. As I deal with a severe anxiety and depression, I was proud of myself. All until a little girl asked: "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

flopstar's comment : Hey, it's just a little kid. I'm sure you looked perfect today op!

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Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

#21414664
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23708) - you deserved it (2805)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by Vlen (man) - United States (Arizona)

khorstmye's comment : Make the best of it!! Go over and hope there is an open bar!!!!

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Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14638) - you deserved it (20070)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

#21414400
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (1539)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23389) - you deserved it (2854)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24670) - you deserved it (2444)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25642) - you deserved it (2016)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23398) - you deserved it (4943)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML

#21414249
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (2677)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML

#21414242
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (2104)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:25pm - misc - by A - United States (Georgia)



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