FML : Your everyday life stories

Weirdest FMLs of the Day Most Commented FMLs of the Day

Improve your life with these simple anti-FML life hacks!

The following information are called "Life Hacks" because they aim to pirate your way of life and make it better. However, some are...

By MacGyver - / Tuesday 19 September 2017 00:30 /

Today, I discovered I have a condition that causes loss of feeling in my clitoris during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By numbcrumb - / Monday 18 September 2017 23:15 /

World

Slovenia

Today, I've spent hours looking at photos of my husband and his ex-girlfriends that his mother keeps in a photo album. She doesn't have any pictures of us. We're married and expecting our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Monday 18 September 2017 21:45 / Slovenia - Medvode

Today, I dropped my 6-month-old $3,500 guitar. Luckily, it had a one year warranty from the store so I drove back. It was shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Renna303 - / Monday 18 September 2017 20:00 /

This Twitter Saga About A 12-Year-Old Who Gets His Girlfriend Pregnant Is A Comedy Roller Coaster You’re Going to Want to Ride

In the latest literary blockbuster à la Twitter, a pre-teen learns the importance of sex education after his girlfriend tells him he’s...

By Nina - / Monday 18 September 2017 18:30 / France - Paris

Today, I found out the works council won't let the company offer me the job for which I was the only applicant because the council requires 3 years experience with the company. I've only been here for 2 years, 10 months, and 26 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By starving_freelancer_forever - / Monday 18 September 2017 16:00 /

Today, I found out that both of my cats are afraid of mice. So far I've seen them run and hide from 3 different mice who've recently invaded my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "Brain_fart" - / Monday 18 September 2017 05:00 / United States - Salt Lake City

Today, despite being claustrophobic and avoiding lifts at all costs, I had to use the lift at work to carry boxes of paper to the 3rd floor. It broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By LETMEOUT! - / Monday 18 September 2017 04:30 /

Today, I realized that the random string of numbers I deleted in my phone notes a few months ago was actually the pin code to my new bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Monday 18 September 2017 01:30 /

FML's 15 favorite and/or weirdest blunders of the week!

Whether it's people not understanding how the world works or just people fucking their shit up, this is the place to check out idiots...

By Hawkeye Pierce - / Monday 18 September 2017 00:30 /

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By oneloveliz - / Sunday 17 September 2017 23:15 /

Today, I found my wallet while cleaning my room. The same wallet I'd accused my drug-dealing stepbrother of stealing a month ago. The same wallet that has $500 in it that I was certain he'd taken. The same one my stepfather yelled at him for, because he believed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Klutche - / Sunday 17 September 2017 14:00 / United States - Seminole

30 Times Women Had the Perfect Comeback to Creepy Guys Texting

When a dude tries sliding into your DMs with some creepy shit, things can get out of hand. But while being on the receiving end of...

By Nina - / Sunday 17 September 2017 18:30 /

Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "Mel Hahn" - / Sunday 17 September 2017 16:00 /

Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By MrDisgrace - / Sunday 17 September 2017 13:00 /

Today, after storing it for a year, driving it 750 miles to a new home, and waiting a week for a wall mount to come in, I was ready to hang the hand-painted, decorative window my brother gave me. The chain snapped as I picked it up and it shattered when it hit the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Sunday 17 September 2017 04:30 /

Today, while sorting through my deceased mother's hoard of belongings, I found myself holding a necklace composed entirely of teeth. Human teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Sunday 17 September 2017 01:30 /

17 FMLs About People Whose Puppies Had Them in Over Their Heads

Today, FML has got puppies on the brain. Why? Well because it’s National Puppy Mill Awareness Day and Responsible Dog Ownership Day!...

By Nina - / Sunday 17 September 2017 00:30 / France - Paris

Do Not Pass Go

Today, I started at a new college. I bought my textbooks and went to my first class only to find out that they changed my schedule without telling me. I'd already opened the book. I could not get $200 back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Rex - / Saturday 16 September 2017 16:15 / United States - Camden

Today, I was fired for job abandonment. Yesterday, my boss told me to go home early because we were so slow. After I reminded him, he laughed and said, "Oh yeah... You're still fired." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By RetailScapegoat - / Saturday 16 September 2017 20:00 /

Get Ready to Burn! Only Those Who get 10/13 on This Quiz Would’ve Survived the Salem Witch Trials, Are You One of Them?

I really hope you guys don’t have anything against witches because as it turns out, I am one. So if I were to have lived in New England...

By FML Approved - / Saturday 16 September 2017 18:30 /

Today, I signed a lease with a coworker because she seemed normal enough and our city is ridiculously expensive. Promptly after signing, she said that she's having an affair with another coworker and that he needs a place to stay as his wife is kicking him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By snowbirdie34 - / Saturday 16 September 2017 04:30 /

Today, I was running late to class and slipped down a staircase. Not only did nobody help me, but when I got up I noticed an old man staring at my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By college will be fun they said - / Friday 15 September 2017 19:30 / United States - Baltimore

Stars who've had their photo used without prior consent: here's our selection of the weirdest!

Zach Braff, the actor mainly known for his role as J.D. in the excellent TV show "Scrubs" tweeted a picture of an Ukrainian advertisement...

By William Portail - / Saturday 16 September 2017 00:30 / France - Paris

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "BunnysKitty" - / Friday 15 September 2017 23:15 /

Drunk Transport Solution

If you drink too much this weekend, make sure you're with good friends!

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You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Friday 15 September 2017 22:28 / France - Paris

Today, while rushing to a big marketing presentation, I started feeling ill in my car. I was stuck in traffic, and before I could get my window open I threw up all over my suit. All I had were some tissues to try to clean the mess before presenting to a full boardroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By MondayonaTuesday - / Friday 15 September 2017 20:00 /

This Week’s Top 10 Comment Countdown is Here!

In this edition of the comment corral, we’ve rounded up the best quips from this week’s FMLs, featuring a timeless movie reference,...

By Nina - / Friday 15 September 2017 18:30 / France - Paris

Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Jules - / Friday 15 September 2017 17:00 /

I agree, that was well spotted

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Friday 15 September 2017 14:36 /

FML

The Top

FML: Uncensored

Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids....

FML: Uncensored

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It...

FML: Uncensored

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing...

FML Uncensored

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until...

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Nearly

Today, I had just finished making myself an ice cream cone when my cat puked all over the floor. I set my cone on the counter while I cleaned it up, when...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today... I learned I have a slight allergy to wasps when I cut down a dead tree they made a home out of. Half my face now looks like I'm wearing a fat...

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You deserved it

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World

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Colombia

Today, I went dancing with my best friend and I went back with her to crash in her bed. I didn't expect her boyfriend to stay over too, much less in the...

Singapore

Today, a day before my birthday, I'm submitting my unplanned resignation after receiving an applicant's phone call inquiring about my position. Because...

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Photos

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Spicy

Colombia

Today, I went dancing with my best friend and I went back with her to crash in her bed. I didn't expect her boyfriend to stay over too, much less in the...

Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Spicy FMLs