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Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML

#21518868
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23905) - you deserved it (1914)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm - health - by fuckoffgramps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

vicfirthfan's comment : that's what the government wants you to think

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Today, somebody kicked the crap out of my car and spray painted "CHEATER" on the sides. I've never even had a girlfriend. FML

#21518846
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (1258)

On 01/24/2016 at 10:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

UncleCaitlyn's comment : What kind of asshole resorts to possible jail time for revenge of that sort

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Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML

#21518840
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (7180)

On 01/24/2016 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

whassallt26's comment : Rookie mistake

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Today, I found out my family refers to my room as "the virgin cave". FML

#21518755
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (2569)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:40am - misc - by Dexter_39476 (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, just 1 month after giving me a bracelet with an infinity symbol on it for Christmas, my boyfriend of three years ended everything out of the blue. That was a short infinity. FML

#21518660
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21500) - you deserved it (1653)

On 01/23/2016 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

#21518597
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19882) - you deserved it (5196)

On 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

#21518472
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (1960)

On 01/23/2016 at 6:26am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML

#21518464
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20137) - you deserved it (1488)

On 01/23/2016 at 5:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after the topic of grandkids came up yet again, my fiancé confessed that we've been having trouble conceiving. Later, I overheard his mum telling him to take my engagement ring back to the store and get a refund, because apparently I'm not worth marrying if I can't give him kids. FML

#21518460
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (1389)

On 01/23/2016 at 4:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML

#21518447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18083) - you deserved it (7379)

On 01/23/2016 at 2:49am - intimacy - by soon to have a fist shaped hole in my ass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad let me borrow his phone while I wait for mine to get back from the shop. I guess he forgot to pass the news along, because within 4 hours I'd received a picture of my mom's tits. FML

#21518424
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21593) - you deserved it (1810)

On 01/23/2016 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up after a two-day drive to go to my cousin's wedding. The view is beautiful, there's mountains everywhere, and my new backless dress is gorgeous. Too bad the hotel has bed bugs and my whole body is entirely covered in bright red bumps. FML

#21518411
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (1383)

On 01/23/2016 at 12:25am - misc - by wedding leper - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

#21518334
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21717) - you deserved it (2446)

On 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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