Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

#21446247
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (9200)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by stargate25 (man) - United States (Colorado)

pokemyeyes's comment : YDI for making her reach the point where she has to schedule herself into your calender and send you reminders.

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Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

#21446242
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24425) - you deserved it (3716)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

cat4651's comment : Go back to bed for the rest of the day, it is clearly not your day today!

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Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML

#21446192
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (2082)

On 07/23/2015 at 8:12pm - work - by sarika (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

heirofhope's comment : I guess you could say your vision is in mint condition.

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Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (2473)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

#21446038
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (2698)

On 07/23/2015 at 2:28pm - animals - by killjoyx - United States (Virginia)

Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML

#21446001
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (2352)

On 07/23/2015 at 1:29pm - love - by monogamyisalie - United States

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

#21445936
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (2284)

On 07/23/2015 at 11:07am - health - by rhcpgurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

#21445902
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (1645)

On 07/23/2015 at 9:05am - animals - by dirtbikeguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent $70 on party supplies for my sister's bachelorette party, another hour decorating, three hours baking and designing a cake, before waiting five hours to hear that she and another bridesmaid had 'moved' the party elsewhere. Cake anyone? FML

#21445882
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28415) - you deserved it (1627)

On 07/23/2015 at 7:53am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML

#21445864
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23097) - you deserved it (2492)

On 07/23/2015 at 5:44am - animals - by Skoff (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

#21445738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21615) - you deserved it (2295)

On 07/22/2015 at 11:18pm - health - by skyllabeauty1234 - United States (California)

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML

#21445713
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9601) - you deserved it (33939)

On 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by sucked_in - Australia (Western Australia)



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