Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my pinky finger found out how much a king size bed weighs. FML

#21430073
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (2462)

On 06/22/2015 at 11:12am - health - by akimbojuju - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

#21430061
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26096) - you deserved it (1914)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:41am - intimacy - by bonzo - Australia (Western Australia)

mds9986's comment : I hope you said no.

See all the comments →

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29004) - you deserved it (3544)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

TheTardis123's comment : Safe to assume his father is not OK.

See all the comments →

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27096) - you deserved it (2365)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

TheTardis123's comment : Well your boyfriend is famous! But for all the wrong reasons...

See all the comments →

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

#21429840
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (1644)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

#21429802
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21771) - you deserved it (1740)

On 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm - animals - by Angel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML

#21429755
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25603) - you deserved it (4368)

On 06/21/2015 at 8:50pm - misc - by ssondik - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24954) - you deserved it (2056)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I forbade a student in the writing seminar I instructed from continuing to present his disturbing poems about demons. He responded to this by convincing nearly every other student in the seminar to write and read out loud several of his poems. FML

#21429629
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19319) - you deserved it (7457)

On 06/21/2015 at 4:42pm - work - by ihateloopholes (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML

#21429443
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25307) - you deserved it (1436)

On 06/21/2015 at 9:29am - misc - by cwell88 (man) -

Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML

#21429410
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23273) - you deserved it (2064)

On 06/21/2015 at 6:16am - love - by bev_rogan - United States (Indiana)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (2988)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: