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Today, after days of being too sick to leave my house, I went to get some medicine. While picking out cough drops, an old man leaned over and said, "You smell quite delicious today". I haven't showered and the only "perfume" I'm wearing is VapoRub. FML

#21374151
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27244) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:52pm - health - by minty - United States

devildog562's comment : Vapor rub smells amazing. At least when you can't breath .

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Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (2427)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

UmmOkThen's comment : You guys can have something in common now.

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Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

#21374137
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (3258)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eddy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

peceout's comment : I'm guessing it wasn't cereal.

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Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (17397)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, I ate a wonderful meal, after which I fell asleep on my couch and had a dream that my husband was passionately kissing me. I woke up to realize it was actually my cat licking bits of food out of my teeth. FML

Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

#21373875
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22794) - you deserved it (21082)

On 03/13/2015 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML

#21373841
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34392) - you deserved it (2392)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:47pm - love - by scared and alone (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

#21373752
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29044) - you deserved it (2087)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:02am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. FML

#21373611
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (2514)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:21am - work - by hard work doesn't work - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (3861)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

#21373531
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (2979)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:55pm - animals - by psh_idontbite (woman) - United States



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