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Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

#21458335
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (2169)

On 08/20/2015 at 2:02am - love - by Catsfordays - United States (California)

nooblper's comment : You considered him a real catch and a potential soulmate... why, exactly? All based on looks?

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Today, I found out that the motorcycle I paid cash for was an illegal import. My plates are canceled, I have to turn in the bike for it to be destroyed, and the seller has vanished off the face of the planet. FML

#21458311
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22949) - you deserved it (3945)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:48am - misc - by fmymouth (man) - United States (California)

NozomiTojo's comment : Ride together die together.

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Today, my psycho landlord threatened to take me to court if I don't pay my rent on time this month. I'd totally understand if he weren't my father-in-law, and if the reason I didn't pay on time before was because of hospital fees I'd incurred for an emergency appendectomy. FML

#21458301
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20652) - you deserved it (2113)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:16am - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

#21458278
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (1728)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:25pm - kids - by ambiiii - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my daughter that we're going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog that we buried in our back yard last week so it can come along. FML

#21458250
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21987) - you deserved it (1533)

On 08/19/2015 at 10:38pm - kids - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

KeannaLove's comment : Depending on the age of your daughter, this could either be very sweet or extremely worrying.

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Today, I haven't shaved for so long the hair on my legs has split ends. FML

#21458206
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18499) - you deserved it (9744)

On 08/19/2015 at 9:00pm - misc - by ToddesPizza - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that it's possible to get hit by a bird while bungee jumping. FML

#21458053
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20566) - you deserved it (1784)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:44pm - misc - by SebastianCT - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34511) - you deserved it (1738)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my car is being repaired, so I had to catch a bus to work. When the bus came, the driver pulled toward the curb and gunned it through a large puddle of water, then pulled away and continued down the road, leaving me soaking wet. FML

#21457982
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (1313)

On 08/19/2015 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

#21457966
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (3467)

On 08/19/2015 at 8:14am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

#21457959
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15912) - you deserved it (9642)

On 08/19/2015 at 7:34am - health - by julian1 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (4055)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

#21457897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (2888)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:54am - intimacy - by lonelygal69 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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