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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

#21356609
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (9546)

On 02/15/2015 at 11:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Merylwen's comment : Why are you even with someone like that, since you can't trust her? o_O

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Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML

#21356583
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31687) - you deserved it (3280)

On 02/15/2015 at 9:52am - love - by =( (woman) - Australia

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

#21356363
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31116) - you deserved it (3142)

On 02/14/2015 at 11:07pm - misc - by Rubyscooby212 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (4887)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Boopycat's comment : Could have just closed your eyes?

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Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34838) - you deserved it (3369)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

silverstream20's comment : To be fair, that is not entirely wrong, considering a tampon works like a sponge anyway. I say A for effort.

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Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

#21356030
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26159) - you deserved it (2355)

On 02/14/2015 at 3:04pm - love - by hopeless - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

#21355983
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (2050)

On 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (8924)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

#21355845
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34707) - you deserved it (1829)

On 02/14/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by secret - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

#21355802
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (1882)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:14am - health - by u wot? (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30623) - you deserved it (2918)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

#21355623
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26935) - you deserved it (3088)

On 02/13/2015 at 10:49pm - love - by FMAhole - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34281) - you deserved it (2900)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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