jeffprobs's comment : Can I rent her to teach my grandma
Miss_Whipped's comment : OP, If I were in your shoes and that were my father, I'd tell him to take his will and shove it where the sun don't shine. Any father that can't remember his own daughter's middle name - and certainly only asks for it for a selfish reason - doesn't deserve her time anyway. Maybe I'm being harsh but I certainly don't think he's the kind of father I'd want in my life.
Today, I was volunteering at a local hospital. I was eagerly introducing myself to all the nurses, as I would be working with them all summer. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered the giant piece of lettuce stuck in my front teeth. So much for first impressions. FML
Today, my parents, who aren’t usually lenient, allowed me to have my boyfriend over. We started to cuddle, things got a little heated, but then my sister walks in and says, “You do my math homework, or I tell mom what you guys were doing.” I don’t remember middle school math being this hard. FML
dadom7614's comment : Siblings.. They WILL find leverage and they WILL use it.
by mcfatty / 08/14/2016 at 12:21am / India (Karnataka) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was crossing a street, a car hit me and broke two of my ribs. The driver was too busy paying attention to his girlfriend who was giving him a blowjob from the passenger seat. I could see the look of ecstasy on his face as he rammed into me and drove off without noticing. FML
by Sean / 08/14/2016 at 12:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I woke to the sound of my baby crying at 4 a.m. I also heard my partner snoring, knowing he was not beside me and the baby was not in her crib, I went into the nursery. There was my crying baby laying across my snoring partner's chest. Guess he fell asleep during feeding time. FML
by gamerlaura / 08/13/2016 at 11:33pm / United Kingdom (Gwynedd) / Miscellaneous
Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2016 at 8:28pm / Miscellaneous
by maxmess / 06/21/2016 at 5:39pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my allergies are killing me. I took a Benadryl to help, but the allergies are still here. I'm now chugging Mountain Dew at 9:30 in the morning to keep from falling asleep at my desk. Thanks for nothing Benadryl. FML
by WorthLessThanACareer / 06/21/2016 at 8:57am / Love